PDXJohnny99's definitions
Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013
Get the puppy parkour mug.Whenever your cell phone suddenly dies during a text session, conversation, or any mode of communication due to battery malfunction or technical malfunction. Thus causing a period of time of uncertainty in the minds of the people you had been communicating with while the phone either stays powerless or while it reboots and reconnects.
Dave: Sorry I my phone died. I couldn't turn it on my battery fuckin' died and I had no way to call you back.
Colin: Uh... that was two days ago.
Dave: Phone stroke. It was totally down.. Lost my my charger.
Colin: Two days, dude.
Dave: Yeah. Sorry. Nothing I could do. Fucking phone stroke. Had to buy a new charger.
Colin: Well, anyway, I managed to escape from the satanic cult yesterday, but thanks for calling me back today. Glad your phone is back up.
Colin: Uh... that was two days ago.
Dave: Phone stroke. It was totally down.. Lost my my charger.
Colin: Two days, dude.
Dave: Yeah. Sorry. Nothing I could do. Fucking phone stroke. Had to buy a new charger.
Colin: Well, anyway, I managed to escape from the satanic cult yesterday, but thanks for calling me back today. Glad your phone is back up.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Phone stroke mug.1. When someone is masturbating and either an awful sound, smell, thought or sight suddenly disturbs the person, thus ending the masturbation process abruptly.
2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
A. Ray was masturbating when he unexpectedly thought about his neighbor's grandmother and completely lost his hard-on. It was masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
by PDXJohnny99 April 18, 2013
Get the masturbing mug.She's a Spunk Junkie.
She's got the need for seed.
She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.
She's got the need for seed.
She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.
by PDXJohnny99 August 26, 2013
Get the Spunk Junkie mug.Those nightmares people tend to have related to their occupations. Often it tends to be a reoccurring nightmare and a supervisor is a prominant figure in the dream usually.
Wally recently started a new job as a master control operator at the local television station. He is the person responsible for making sure the television shows air perfectly. He is completely stressed out due to the fact that the job is hyper-technical and his work is being watched by thousands of viewers at any given time.
Now he's having jobmares. In these dreams he is constantly off-air and his boss either stands quietly behind him or screams in his face... and his entire shift becomes one major shitstorm and Wally's name becomes the source of constant putdowns around work. Then he wakes up.
He airs Headline News every shift at his job. The jobmares are ruining his sleep almost nightly. Last night he fell asleep at home with the tv on, then headline news came on and Wally snapped awake... thinking he missed his commercial break and ended up shitting the bed.
Now he's having jobmares. In these dreams he is constantly off-air and his boss either stands quietly behind him or screams in his face... and his entire shift becomes one major shitstorm and Wally's name becomes the source of constant putdowns around work. Then he wakes up.
He airs Headline News every shift at his job. The jobmares are ruining his sleep almost nightly. Last night he fell asleep at home with the tv on, then headline news came on and Wally snapped awake... thinking he missed his commercial break and ended up shitting the bed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Jobmare mug.When people don't want to address, debate or offer solutions about the growing issue of the homeless in America.
Wordplay derived from "The elephant in the room" phrase: important issues or subject matter that people tend not to want to discuss, thus overlooking the isuue.
Redlight is a reference to a traffic light; homeless often stand at traffic lights to aquire money from passing drivers.
Wordplay derived from "The elephant in the room" phrase: important issues or subject matter that people tend not to want to discuss, thus overlooking the isuue.
Redlight is a reference to a traffic light; homeless often stand at traffic lights to aquire money from passing drivers.
Michelle was driving home from work and saw a man with a cardboard sign at the taffic light on the corner of Cornell. The Redlight Elephant struck, she wanted to help but drove right by the man.
Jen and Mike were approached by three homeless coming out of the bookstore. They didn't hesitate to walk past without making eye contact. Neither addressed the Redlight Elephant on their walk to the car.
Jen and Mike were approached by three homeless coming out of the bookstore. They didn't hesitate to walk past without making eye contact. Neither addressed the Redlight Elephant on their walk to the car.
by PDXJohnny99 May 10, 2013
Get the Redlight Elephant mug.When a doctor tests certain medications on a patient, but actually worsens the problem through trial and error.
Micky: my doc put me on antidepressants... but it actually made me suicidal... so he put me on another kind and now don't give shit about anything... so now he thinks I need a different kind... I feel like a lab rat!
Mallory: Sounds like pill roulette to me.
Mallory: Sounds like pill roulette to me.
by PDXJohnny99 April 10, 2013
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