Johnny lives in Portland because he loves loves loves the rain. It cheers him up. He is a rainiac.
Extreme rainiacs sit in the shower with an umbrella when rainy season is over.
Extreme rainiacs sit in the shower with an umbrella when rainy season is over.
by PDXJohnny99 June 02, 2013
Any fan of zombie films, shows, books, games, etc. Usually in association with the post-Night of the Living Dead era, aka George Romero zombies, aka RomZoms; and not classic voodoo zombies.
Danny is a true zombite. He has every issue of the Walking Dead. He has every Romero film on vhs, laser disc, bluray and dvd.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
by PDXJohnny99 April 18, 2013
Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013
Someone who needs or tends to leave the television on to help them sleep. Usually rerunning a movie or tv show they've seen so many times to comfort (or bore) them to sleep.
Dave: Your wife Rhonda watches the same freakin' movie every night. Why?
Brent: It makes her fall asleep...and now it makes me fall asleep cuz its freakin' mind-numbing.
Dave: Dear God... I'm surrounded by tube snoozers.
Brent: It makes her fall asleep...and now it makes me fall asleep cuz its freakin' mind-numbing.
Dave: Dear God... I'm surrounded by tube snoozers.
by PDXJohnny99 April 11, 2013
She's a Spunk Junkie.
She's got the need for seed.
She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.
She's got the need for seed.
She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.
by PDXJohnny99 August 26, 2013
Johnny: Boardwalk Empire is the most unpredicatable and most boldly written drama of the century! I am a Board WALKER!!
Dee: Well... our century is rather new...
Johnny: ....and the realism and the truth and the era and the acting... and the CHARACTERS! OMG!
Dee: uh...
Johnny: ...and the authenticity, the unflinching violence....
Dee: zzzzzzzzzzz
Dee: Well... our century is rather new...
Johnny: ....and the realism and the truth and the era and the acting... and the CHARACTERS! OMG!
Dee: uh...
Johnny: ...and the authenticity, the unflinching violence....
Dee: zzzzzzzzzzz
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Derived from the phrase "As American as hot dogs and apple pie". Both hotdogs and Hip Hop were originated in America, Hip Hop started in the South Bronx.
Once there was a street artist who got busted by a cop. The intricate graffiti was displaying George W. Bush as a mass murderer, with a chainsaw, attacking cripples and little nerd children. And then the cop went ape shit. Or... pig shit.
Cop: This is filthy! Like a wall of... turds! Filthy! You're bashing The Dubbya.
Graf Writer: Its symbolic. It shows Bush killing all the innocents... with this war that cousin-fucking hillbilly started.
Cop: You little... spraypaintin'... turd! You are Un-American!! Bashin' the Dubbya!
Graf Writer: I'm as American as hot dogs and Hip Hop.
Cop: This is filthy! Like a wall of... turds! Filthy! You're bashing The Dubbya.
Graf Writer: Its symbolic. It shows Bush killing all the innocents... with this war that cousin-fucking hillbilly started.
Cop: You little... spraypaintin'... turd! You are Un-American!! Bashin' the Dubbya!
Graf Writer: I'm as American as hot dogs and Hip Hop.
by PDXJohnny99 May 01, 2013