Hockey Stick Treatment

Getting beat up by a hockey stick.

This is the cold weather version of the Baseball Bat Treatment.
Noah: Can you believe this?! Someone tried to break into my house in the middle of the night!
Luke: Did you call 911?
Noah: No, he got the hockey stick treatment!
by OffBeatDrummer September 26, 2023
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Idiots Unite

A group of idiots who all seem so similarly idiotic it almost feels like they're part of a club.
Aaron: "Sell! Sell! Sell!" says the Mad Money dude. Do you buy that!? Everyone is listening to him blindly. I don't get it.
Oliver: People bought his line about the market bubble. Idiots Unite!

Jared: Well, if it isn't the smart and talented Charlotte?!?!
Charlotte: What's up Jared?!
Jared: I saw a whole bunch of people following you after class yesterday. What happened!?
Charlotte: I told the instructor I missed the exam because I found out I was pregnant. People kept bugging me afterwards about who the father was. Idiots Unite! Hello!!! It's my new husband Baldwin, who else might it be!?!!

Sophia: Skiing in the summer?! Who does that!!!?
Scarlett: Apparently, Lisa and company. They haven't had enough skiing in the winter it seems.
Sophia: Oh wow! Didn't they go every weekend!!? I mean, I go three times a year and that's more than enough. In the summer, it's beach time baby!
Scarlett: I'm with you, summer means sunbathing on the beach every single day! Let's just leave it at Idiots Unite! Lisa and her friends seem to really dig summer skiing instead. Their loss.
by OffBeatDrummer November 26, 2020
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idiyoda

The Yoda of idiocy. That is someone who is so idiotic, they're like Yoda from Star Wars unwittingly jumping and slashing his lightsaber over and over a thousand times with idiotic actions!

Also, another spelling/pronunciation of idiota.
Breana: Huh! You did what?!! Drop the bathtub stopper in the trash while cleaning the bathroom!!?! But, why!??
Anastasia: Umm. I thought it was a piece of soap.
Breana: So, you drop soap in the trash!??!
Anastasia: Errr...I didn't mean to.
Breana: What do you mean you didn't mean to!? You just told me you did it!
Anastasia: Umm. Errr...sorry ma'am! I won't do that ever again!
Breana: What makes you think you'll get another chance!?! You're like the idiyoda of house cleaning. You're fired!!!
by OffBeatDrummer November 11, 2020
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Patheticon

Someone who is an icon in patheticness.
Tommy: you saw what idiot Beckham did on TV yesterday?
Johnny: yes, he's no soccer idol... a patheticon at best
Tommy: what about his ludicrous display last night?
Johnny: pathetic... totally pathetic!
by OffBeatDrummer October 26, 2020
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Just-In-Caser

A prepared option that is available "just in case" the main option fails.

Other terms that describe a just-in-caser:
- Plan B
- Contingency Plan
- Alternative Measure
- Emergency Option
Jarvis: Why on earth would you buy airplane tickets when we've got cheap train tickets booked and ready to go see the Super Bowl?
Daniel: Relax dude! Airplane tickets are just-in-casers. Remember what happened last year? I don't want train delays causing us to miss half the Super Bowl game ever again.

Nora: You brought both your laptop and the iPad to the business meeting!?! You're not gonna need both!
Bethany: I only brought the iPad as a just-in-caser. I'll be taking notes on the laptop.
by OffBeatDrummer January 06, 2021
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Beneather

A beneather is someone who automatically puts themselves beneath others by behaving inappropriately and lowering their social status as a result. Due to their own negligent self-unaware improper behavior, a beneather loses the respect of everyone and becomes a stomping ground for others without people being aware they are stomping on the beneather. A beneather often becomes an inadvertant stepping stone for others during their climb of the ladder of life.
John: Hey, care to give a buck to the poor for Christmas?
Bob: Christmas! Do you really believe in that crap!?! Do you even know what Christmas is really all about!? It's consumerism! I don't give during Christmas. This is just a sham to cheat me out of a good buck!
John (ignoring Bob as just a beneather): Susie! Wanna give a buck to the poor for Christmas?
Susie: Sure! Go ahead! Here are $10 bucks!

Later on, John, Susie, and everyone else at their little company avoids inviting Bob to the Christmas party!

---

Edward: Hi, would you mind helping me with this data analysis problem?
George: You need my help? What does that say about your math skills?!
Edwards (realizes George is just a beneather): Jonathan! I heard you're quite crafty with data analysis problems. Mind lending me a hand?!
Jonathan: Sure, why not!

A few weeks later...

George: Hey Edward! I've been trying to use this visualization tool, but my comptuer keeps going bust and I am almost gonna miss the deadline. Can you help me?
Edward: Sure!
George (noticing Edward is slow): Edward! Are you sure you know what you're doing!? You're so slow... I could have solved this problem on my own!
Edward: I'll leave you to it then.

A few days later... George gets fired! Eventually, he is begging on the street and his coworkers pass by him without ever recognizing him. They drop him a buck every now and then, and feel happy they are helping the community, but George is not happy! The end of a beneather!
by OffBeatDrummer December 16, 2021
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Beneather

This is just an abbreviation of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's saying to Spike: "You're Beneath Me"

A beneather is simply someone who is beneath us.
Derick: So, this recruiter calls me up out of nowhere and starts yapping his sales pitch without even saying hello or asking me how I'm doing.
Sarah: Doesn't sound like a good start.
Derick: Not at all. He then goes on and on about how great his company is. I couldn't get any word out before he started asking me interview questions afterwards. I mean, hello! I'm not even interested!
Sarah: This guy's got no manners whatsoever.
Derick: I know. A total beneather!
by OffBeatDrummer November 03, 2020
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