OffBeatDrummer's definitions
Pete: Inferiorites! Mediocrites! Idioites!
Jared: Calm down Pete! What is going on!?!
Pete: Cumcast is back at it again. I call them up to tell 'em my new 1Gbps Internet is hosed. They tell me: "Sir! It's running at 100Mbps. That's fast enough don't you think?!"
Jared: So you're basically getting only 1/10th of the Internet speed for what you pay them.
Pete: Exactly! If it weren't for sports channels, I would have canned the motherfuckers long time ago.
Jared: You can get those channels by becoming a cordcutter
Pete: Great idea Jared! You just saved my life! Let's go get smashed while watching the football game!
Jared: Calm down Pete! What is going on!?!
Pete: Cumcast is back at it again. I call them up to tell 'em my new 1Gbps Internet is hosed. They tell me: "Sir! It's running at 100Mbps. That's fast enough don't you think?!"
Jared: So you're basically getting only 1/10th of the Internet speed for what you pay them.
Pete: Exactly! If it weren't for sports channels, I would have canned the motherfuckers long time ago.
Jared: You can get those channels by becoming a cordcutter
Pete: Great idea Jared! You just saved my life! Let's go get smashed while watching the football game!
by OffBeatDrummer November 5, 2020
Get the Idioitemug. Just another word for clickety clackety; that is making noise through typing on a computer keyboard.
Darren: Two tickets to Denver, Colorado please!
Norah (Flight Agent): *clickety-clack*. No problem sir. I found a flight. You're all booked!
* * *
Kelly: Could you please find out how many PTOs I have left this year?
Katherine (H.R. Agent): Sure thing! *clickety-clack* It says here you got one week left.
* * *
Jason: *clickety-clack* The Sword of Shannara! That's the first book in the Shannara series.
Laura: What about the author's other series about the lawyer who becomes a king?
Jason: *clickety-clack* The Magic Kingdom of Landover. Here, take the keyboard. The library search engine is quite easy to use. What is yet another series by that same author?
Laura: *clickety-clack* The Word and the Void.
Norah (Flight Agent): *clickety-clack*. No problem sir. I found a flight. You're all booked!
* * *
Kelly: Could you please find out how many PTOs I have left this year?
Katherine (H.R. Agent): Sure thing! *clickety-clack* It says here you got one week left.
* * *
Jason: *clickety-clack* The Sword of Shannara! That's the first book in the Shannara series.
Laura: What about the author's other series about the lawyer who becomes a king?
Jason: *clickety-clack* The Magic Kingdom of Landover. Here, take the keyboard. The library search engine is quite easy to use. What is yet another series by that same author?
Laura: *clickety-clack* The Word and the Void.
by OffBeatDrummer November 23, 2020
Get the Clickety-clackmug. A BIFI website run by faggots and populated by faggots and faggot wannabes, who think being a hacker is “cool”; not realizing that hackers are the lowest form of techy existence and are always lower than dirt.
Dade: Look at this Jonny! Hackers have shared code on Hacker News on how to program a butt plug!
Jonny: Wow! Let's get f*cked in the a$$! Hacking is f*cking COOL!!!
Jonny: Wow! Let's get f*cked in the a$$! Hacking is f*cking COOL!!!
by OffBeatDrummer May 7, 2022
Get the Hacker Newsmug. A beneather is someone who automatically puts themselves beneath others by behaving inappropriately and lowering their social status as a result. Due to their own negligent self-unaware improper behavior, a beneather loses the respect of everyone and becomes a stomping ground for others without people being aware they are stomping on the beneather. A beneather often becomes an inadvertant stepping stone for others during their climb of the ladder of life.
John: Hey, care to give a buck to the poor for Christmas?
Bob: Christmas! Do you really believe in that crap!?! Do you even know what Christmas is really all about!? It's consumerism! I don't give during Christmas. This is just a sham to cheat me out of a good buck!
John (ignoring Bob as just a beneather): Susie! Wanna give a buck to the poor for Christmas?
Susie: Sure! Go ahead! Here are $10 bucks!
Later on, John, Susie, and everyone else at their little company avoids inviting Bob to the Christmas party!
---
Edward: Hi, would you mind helping me with this data analysis problem?
George: You need my help? What does that say about your math skills?!
Edwards (realizes George is just a beneather): Jonathan! I heard you're quite crafty with data analysis problems. Mind lending me a hand?!
Jonathan: Sure, why not!
A few weeks later...
George: Hey Edward! I've been trying to use this visualization tool, but my comptuer keeps going bust and I am almost gonna miss the deadline. Can you help me?
Edward: Sure!
George (noticing Edward is slow): Edward! Are you sure you know what you're doing!? You're so slow... I could have solved this problem on my own!
Edward: I'll leave you to it then.
A few days later... George gets fired! Eventually, he is begging on the street and his coworkers pass by him without ever recognizing him. They drop him a buck every now and then, and feel happy they are helping the community, but George is not happy! The end of a beneather!
Bob: Christmas! Do you really believe in that crap!?! Do you even know what Christmas is really all about!? It's consumerism! I don't give during Christmas. This is just a sham to cheat me out of a good buck!
John (ignoring Bob as just a beneather): Susie! Wanna give a buck to the poor for Christmas?
Susie: Sure! Go ahead! Here are $10 bucks!
Later on, John, Susie, and everyone else at their little company avoids inviting Bob to the Christmas party!
---
Edward: Hi, would you mind helping me with this data analysis problem?
George: You need my help? What does that say about your math skills?!
Edwards (realizes George is just a beneather): Jonathan! I heard you're quite crafty with data analysis problems. Mind lending me a hand?!
Jonathan: Sure, why not!
A few weeks later...
George: Hey Edward! I've been trying to use this visualization tool, but my comptuer keeps going bust and I am almost gonna miss the deadline. Can you help me?
Edward: Sure!
George (noticing Edward is slow): Edward! Are you sure you know what you're doing!? You're so slow... I could have solved this problem on my own!
Edward: I'll leave you to it then.
A few days later... George gets fired! Eventually, he is begging on the street and his coworkers pass by him without ever recognizing him. They drop him a buck every now and then, and feel happy they are helping the community, but George is not happy! The end of a beneather!
by OffBeatDrummer December 16, 2021
Get the Beneathermug. Billy: So, I visit this new social media website claiming to be all about free speech, and the next thing you know, I am reported for saying Trump Americans are better than others. What's wrong with them!?! Are they too weak to hear the truth!?! And, here's the kicker! I ask the admins why I was reported, and they respond; it's because I said something that hurt someone's feelings. What's wrong with them!?! Just deny the report and say it's because "We defend free speech!" It's that simple!
Jeff: Must be one of those Gen Y websites. This generation is completely befaggotted. Even if you say Hi to them, they get offended.
Carl: I went to this club Hooligans we used to dance at when we were in college.
Mark: Oh yeah!? Saw any hot chics there?
Carl: Not exactly. I saw a dude acting like other dudes were women. I don't know whatever happened to that club! It's become befaggotted!
Mark: Must be one of those stupid policies about welcoming everyone regardless of rape inclinations (aka "sexual orientations").
Jeff: Must be one of those Gen Y websites. This generation is completely befaggotted. Even if you say Hi to them, they get offended.
Carl: I went to this club Hooligans we used to dance at when we were in college.
Mark: Oh yeah!? Saw any hot chics there?
Carl: Not exactly. I saw a dude acting like other dudes were women. I don't know whatever happened to that club! It's become befaggotted!
Mark: Must be one of those stupid policies about welcoming everyone regardless of rape inclinations (aka "sexual orientations").
by OffBeatDrummer November 14, 2020
Get the Befaggottedmug. Lisa: Quick! Give me some websites that are BIFI
Marie: Quora, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and Wikipedia!
Lisa: Thanks. The Dark Web hacker launch codes have been activated. They’ll be end of lifed in no time.
Marie: Quora, Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, and Wikipedia!
Lisa: Thanks. The Dark Web hacker launch codes have been activated. They’ll be end of lifed in no time.
by OffBeatDrummer February 3, 2021
Get the BIFImug. Tom: Gee, how do you pronounce this word? (pointing at "faggotry")
Caleb: Just think of the two words: Faggot Tree
Caleb: Just think of the two words: Faggot Tree
by OffBeatDrummer December 11, 2020
Get the Faggot Treemug.