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OffBeatDrummer's definitions

BIFI

BIFI: By Idiots For Idiots

Pronounced "beefy"

It is a variation on saying: the blind leading the blind.
Humphry: Heard of this new website, Quora?
Benjamin: Sounds like the name of a terrorist.
Humphry: No, it's a website where you ask other people questions, and they answer them.
Benjamin: Ahh, so a clone of Yahoo! Answers!?!
Humphry: Pretty much, but they try to provide a nicer user interface.

A few moments of clickety clackety and the conversation continues...

Humphry: So, what do you think?
Benjamin: BIFI
Humphry: Is that a compliment? Do you mean beefy as in filled with features to the brim?
Benjamin: No, BIFI as in By Idiots For Idiots. Have you taken a closer look at any of the questions or answers? The answers are all wrong and written by idiots. The questions are all dumb and written by even bigger idiots. Thus, BIFI, By Idiots For Idiots!
by OffBeatDrummer December 22, 2021
mugGet the BIFImug.

BIFI

BIFI stands for By Idiots For Idiots.

It is pronounced just like “beefy”.
Dave: So, what do you think of React?
Tim: BIFI
Dave: OK, Golang?
Tim: BIFI
Dave: What about Node?
Tim: BIFI
Dave: Wow! Are there any technologies that are not BIFI by the estimation of software architects?!!
Tim: All technologies that fit a pro & con trade-off analysis! Unfortunately, none of the technologies you mentioned make the cut if a software architect were to put two and two together. Many wannabes these days don't even think about why they are applying a technology. They just monkey see monkey do!

Matthew: Tim, the software architect, told me that React is BIFI, but I don’t understand why?!!
Joe: React assumes a dumb audience to start, among many other reasons.
Matthew: Are you suggesting they assume I am dumb if I were to use React?
Joe: Exactly! For example, bidirectional (two-way) data-binding has been a staple in desktop application GUI development for decades, but React refuses to support it because they say most developers are too dumb to reason about it successfully.
Matthew: What’s wrong with that!? They’re making things more easy for us, no!?
Joe: I doubt any beginner would call React’s style of code easy, so I’m not sure they are anywhere near the target they claimed they were aiming at if that’s what you’re asking.
Matthew: Are you suggesting the makers of React themselves are dumb too?!!
Joe: Now, you’re truly getting to the bottom of why Tim used the term BIFI about them. React is literally By Idiots For Idiots!
by OffBeatDrummer December 27, 2021
mugGet the BIFImug.

Mediocrite

A cooler more dismissive way of saying mediocre, which rhymes with meteorite.

It is also a variation of inferiorite.
Tom: IT folks saved some dough by installing laptop memory not made in the USA. We had nothing but crashes and trouble as a result.
Kenny: Yeah, management oughta fire them. They're nothing but a bunch of mediocrites.

Lisa: Those reports are bugging me. Every time I finish one, my boss asks me for two more. It's been driving me insane all week long.
Mary: Have you been using a reporting tool?
Lisa: Spreadsheets... nothing more! Management isn't willing to shell out any money for a reporting package.
Mary: How about you purchase one with money from your own salary? It would save you quite some time and trouble at work after all.
Lisa: I thought about it. I could barely keep up with my rent and kids. You want me to pay for professional reporting software with my own money too? Forget about it.
Mary: That's what you get for working for a bunch of mediocrites. It's time to step up and quit to join a better company that actually deserves you.
by OffBeatDrummer October 30, 2020
mugGet the Mediocritemug.

Clickety-clack

Just another word for clickety clackety; that is making noise through typing on a computer keyboard.
Darren: Two tickets to Denver, Colorado please!
Norah (Flight Agent): *clickety-clack*. No problem sir. I found a flight. You're all booked!

* * *

Kelly: Could you please find out how many PTOs I have left this year?
Katherine (H.R. Agent): Sure thing! *clickety-clack* It says here you got one week left.

* * *

Jason: *clickety-clack* The Sword of Shannara! That's the first book in the Shannara series.
Laura: What about the author's other series about the lawyer who becomes a king?
Jason: *clickety-clack* The Magic Kingdom of Landover. Here, take the keyboard. The library search engine is quite easy to use. What is yet another series by that same author?
Laura: *clickety-clack* The Word and the Void.
by OffBeatDrummer November 23, 2020
mugGet the Clickety-clackmug.

Baseball Bat Treatment

Getting beat up by a baseball bat.

This is the warm weather version of the Hockey Stick Treatment.
Joey: Guess what happened today at the grocery shop where I work! I caught someone stealing!!
Xavier: Did he go to jail?
Joey: No, he got the baseball bat treatment!
by OffBeatDrummer September 26, 2023
mugGet the Baseball Bat Treatmentmug.

Just-In-Caser

A prepared option that is available "just in case" the main option fails.

Other terms that describe a just-in-caser:
- Plan B
- Contingency Plan
- Alternative Measure
- Emergency Option
Jarvis: Why on earth would you buy airplane tickets when we've got cheap train tickets booked and ready to go see the Super Bowl?
Daniel: Relax dude! Airplane tickets are just-in-casers. Remember what happened last year? I don't want train delays causing us to miss half the Super Bowl game ever again.

Nora: You brought both your laptop and the iPad to the business meeting!?! You're not gonna need both!
Bethany: I only brought the iPad as a just-in-caser. I'll be taking notes on the laptop.
by OffBeatDrummer January 5, 2021
mugGet the Just-In-Casermug.

Squeakfest

A squeakfest is pretty much any social media website where all people squeak constantly non-stop about unimportant stuff while getting too emo about it.

Big obvious squeakfests are Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook to name a few.
Tom: Twitter claims to be a diverse all-inclusive website, but everyone on it is an emo squeaker. I don't get what's diverse about that when everyone on it is just squeaking non-stop. Point to me one Twitter account of someone who is not a squeaker!
David: I cannot! I'd have to go on Twitter squeaking to do so. I'm not a squeaker either, so no dice! Twitter is definitely a squeakfest!
by OffBeatDrummer March 20, 2022
mugGet the Squeakfestmug.

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