Nick D's definitions
Mike: "So Worm, how are the boys upstate treatin' you?"
Worm: "Not so good. I dropped the soap yesterday."
Mike: "Ouch. So some guy showed you HIS worm?"
Worm: "Not exactly. I didn't see it, but I sure as hell felt it."
Mike: "Awwww shiiiiit. You'd better get some ice for that."
Worm: "Not so good. I dropped the soap yesterday."
Mike: "Ouch. So some guy showed you HIS worm?"
Worm: "Not exactly. I didn't see it, but I sure as hell felt it."
Mike: "Awwww shiiiiit. You'd better get some ice for that."
by Nick D February 11, 2004
Get the boys upstate mug.The ultimate easy major in college. Getting anything lower than a 'A' in any class requires serious effort.
Professor: "Johnny, we need to talk about your coursework this semester in my Advanced International Relations 338 class."
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
Johnny: "Yeah, what of it, shithead?"
Professor: "Well, for your first paper, you simply wrote 'Fuck you, Professor Cockgobbler' and drew a cartoon which appeared to be me giving a...um...blow job...um...to a buffalo. For your second paper, you submitted an actual photo of you having anal intercourse with my 15-year-old daughter. On the final exam, you wrote 'I am going to brutally murder your entire extended family, seriously.' in dog shit. Then you did in fact murder them all."
Johnny: "So what?"
Professor: "This type of disrespect will absolutely not be tolerated in my class. I'm going to have to punish you by lowering your grade to an A-minus."
Johnny: "NO!!!! That's going to lower my GPA so much!"
Professor: "Well, given that you have committed such atrocities in addition to your complete lack of ambition as well as academic ability, I'd say you deserve no better than a 3.98."
Johnny: "WHAT??? How could you say such a thing? You'd have to be a severely retarded quadriplegic to get a GPA that terrible!"
by Nick D February 7, 2006
Get the International Relations mug.1) Something given to someone when that person is leaving so that he or she may enjoy it during the trip home.
2) The act of shooting jizz in a girl's eye and then leaving quickly during the ensuing confusion.
2) The act of shooting jizz in a girl's eye and then leaving quickly during the ensuing confusion.
1)
"Say, this party is swell but my mother says I must return home by ten o'clock. It's a darn shame though, that apple juice you're serving here is terrific."
"Gee, buddy, I'm really sorry you have to leave so soon. Here, take a cup of juice for the road."
2)
The bitch was giving me a mean hummer, but I had to be going, so I shot off a couple in her mouth and then pulled out and left her with one for the road.
"Say, this party is swell but my mother says I must return home by ten o'clock. It's a darn shame though, that apple juice you're serving here is terrific."
"Gee, buddy, I'm really sorry you have to leave so soon. Here, take a cup of juice for the road."
2)
The bitch was giving me a mean hummer, but I had to be going, so I shot off a couple in her mouth and then pulled out and left her with one for the road.
by Nick D February 16, 2004
Get the one for the road mug.Little Timmy: "Hello sir, would you like some lemonade? It's only 50 cents."
Mr. Sanchez: "50 cents? You kidding me? How about 25?"
Little Timmy: "Sorry sir, no can do."
Mr. Sanchez: "Listen you little punk. You give me that there lemonade for this here quarter or you're in for a whoopin', y'hear?"
Little Timmy: "But..."
Mr. Sanchez: (kicks kid's wagon) "Listen you little shit! Give me that fucking lemonade NOW!"
Little Timmy: "You broke my wagon!"
Mr. Sanchez: "Oh I'll fix your wagon all right."
Little Timmy: "Awwwww shit nigga you done fucked up my whip, now you goin' down boy!"
Mr. Sanchez: "What the..."
(kid breaks out brass knuckles and fixes Mr. Sanchez's wagon)
Mr. Sanchez: "50 cents? You kidding me? How about 25?"
Little Timmy: "Sorry sir, no can do."
Mr. Sanchez: "Listen you little punk. You give me that there lemonade for this here quarter or you're in for a whoopin', y'hear?"
Little Timmy: "But..."
Mr. Sanchez: (kicks kid's wagon) "Listen you little shit! Give me that fucking lemonade NOW!"
Little Timmy: "You broke my wagon!"
Mr. Sanchez: "Oh I'll fix your wagon all right."
Little Timmy: "Awwwww shit nigga you done fucked up my whip, now you goin' down boy!"
Mr. Sanchez: "What the..."
(kid breaks out brass knuckles and fixes Mr. Sanchez's wagon)
by Nick D September 27, 2005
Get the fix your wagon mug.After months of lusting after the 14-year-old girl from the pool, George finally gave in to his urges to chuck it in her.
After weeks of brutal struggles in the communal prison shower, George's rectal sphincter finally gave in and he got what was coming to him.
After weeks of brutal struggles in the communal prison shower, George's rectal sphincter finally gave in and he got what was coming to him.
by Nick D August 14, 2004
Get the give in mug.A common sign that means, contrary to popular belief, that it is illegal to drop off trash in the specified location. This trash may or may not include human fecal matter. This sign will never cease to amuse high school kids.
Joey: "Hey, guess what guys? Check it out! I just put up a "No Dumping" sign above the shitter in the boys' room!"
Marty: "HAHAHA!!! All right! Awesome joke! You da man!"
Kenny: "Yeah dude, that's totally rad!"
Marty: "HAHAHA!!! All right! Awesome joke! You da man!"
Kenny: "Yeah dude, that's totally rad!"
by Nick D August 13, 2004
Get the no dumping mug.Jeff can run a mile in 4 1/2 minutes. Kevin always gets really mad and beats the shit out of people. Together, I'd probably consider them to be the fast and the furious.
by Nick D October 15, 2003
Get the the fast and the furious mug.