snitklinkers

Tagnuts , klinker, dangleberries, snapdarlichs, The irritating hard little nuggets of shite that can result after being left to cook off in the body’s own heat after failing to correctly wipe the anus following a copious but successful sit-down visit

Marjorie had to deal with her elderly father in law after the old cunt fell over in the parlour . He somehow was devoid of suitable trousering and had in addition , become parted from his Y’s She had to then bear witness to a significant quantity of snitklinkers that was fiercely attached to his third eye lashes and would appear to have been so for several weeks

by Napoleon BonerPart February 24, 2023

Dancing with the Queen of New Pitsligo

Courting a particularly dim witted bitch with a horrifically low IQ and virtually zero experience of the world save for what she’s managed to glean from never having left the backwards village of New Pitsligo in Aberdeenshire , Scotland .
A slapper with the cranial processing ability of a fucking rocking horse .

Jesus that girl was virtually brain dead .
It’s like dancing with the queen of new Pitsligo

by Napoleon BonerPart February 22, 2023

Shitkickers waltz

The act of sort of ‘shuffling along’ instead of walking properly. Almost as if your shoes are a bit too big for you . Thus resembling someone slightly tamely advancing a relatively solid turd along the sidewalk with their foot or feet . We’ve all seen such half arsed gaits being displayed , mostly by junkies , pissed-up fuckwitts or indeed those individuals that may have in fact , shat in their own clothes .

Dancing the shitkickers waltz

See that lowlife piece of excrement over there , trying to make his way to Lidl , and dancing the shitkickers waltz ?

by Napoleon BonerPart February 17, 2023

mouse in a telescope

A tampon , prior to its normal use .

Do me a favour Sweetheart , dive into my handbag and bring me a mouse in a telescope , there’s a handful of them in there .
I thought I only needed a piss , but the monkeys nose is bleeding

by Napoleon BonerPart February 04, 2023

young pig with its ears pinned back

A method of describing a substantial, yet flaccid male uncircumcised member

he was asleep so I took the chance to have a look at his cock , and holy Christ , it’s like a young pig with its ears pinned back

by Napoleon BonerPart February 03, 2023

Gary glitter faux pas

The unfortunate act of passing comment on the antics of a child or children , which leads to others in one’s company suspecting you of somewhat inappropriate behaviour towards minors

I can’t wait to get me shoes off and join in with the kiddies on that bouncy castle ….

Oh fuck , I’ve just committed a rather embarrassing Gary Glitter Faux Pas haven’t I .

Sorry everyone , I’ll get my coat

by Napoleon BonerPart February 23, 2023

company family

The absolute fucking bullshit that some companies or employers attempt to feed you and convince you that working for them might mean that they give a flying fuck about any aspect of your welfare or wellbeing . You can be very assured that they fucking do not.

@come and work for us at XYZ Company , become part of our family

Fuck off you khuntz the moment the budget supporting my position comes under any scrutiny whatsoever, you bastards will drop me like a boiled turd

Company family my fucking left bollock

by Napoleon BonerPart March 12, 2023