Common among older men, this refers to a condition in which one's urination stream is halted briefly every few seconds, then quickly returns to normal pressure. This cycle can occur several times during urination, depending on the volume of liquid being released. Contracting a busted stick shift can be caused by several medical conditions, but is most prevalent as a result of enlarged prostate gland complications. The term is derived from the ebb in motion caused when shifting gears using a manual transmission car. The change in acceleration revolving around this phenomenon is often embellished by poor driving and or broken (i.e. busted) stick shift. For the sake of this definition, the "stick" refers to the man's penis.
Mike 1: Dude that director that was pissing next to me had a totally busted stick shift.
Mike 2: O yea? He should consider masturbating more, I hear it clears prostate complications
Mike 2: O yea? He should consider masturbating more, I hear it clears prostate complications
by Mike and Mike the Accountants April 07, 2017
The act of a male inserting his penis into a women's vagina after pulling it out of her anus. Presumably there is fecal matter on the man's penis, which ultimately makes its way to the woman's vagina.
Mike 1: Some bitch wanted me to pound her ass last night.
Mike 2: How'd it go?
Mike 1: Pretty nasty in fact, she tapped out after like 3 seconds but I made sure I got my nut by giving her the old muddy snapper. I then doused my cock in Clorox.
Mike 2: How'd it go?
Mike 1: Pretty nasty in fact, she tapped out after like 3 seconds but I made sure I got my nut by giving her the old muddy snapper. I then doused my cock in Clorox.
by Mike and Mike the Accountants September 15, 2017
When a man attends Easter Sunday mass, (most often against his will by force of family, significant other etc.) he will quickly become incredibly disinterested and will look elsewhere to pass the time. It is at this moment that he realizes all the female parishioners dressing in their " Easter Sunday best" (i.e. dressing as promiscuously as possible despite the irony of attending church). It is important to note that this is one of the first times all year where the temperature permits the wearing of scantily clad clothing. After this phenomenon has been noted by the male, he will then begin to seek out the best looking women among the parish whom are dressed slutty as fuck, and begin to daydream about fucking the shit out of them. It is by this, and only this process, that the man is able to maintain his sanity during the mass. In some cases, the male might even take mental images for his spank bank.
Mike 1: Easter's coming up man, my lady's gonna make me go to church. Shit.
Mike 2: At least you have the easter egg cunt to look forward to!
Mike 2: At least you have the easter egg cunt to look forward to!
by Mike and Mike the Accountants April 14, 2017
Often following intercourse with a large African American mule pecker or a large member in general, this is a term denoting vaginal soreness or discomfort post-coitus. Cuntusion can also be spawned from very rough sex or lack of adequate lubrication. Following a cuntision, it is recommended that the vaginal area receive 3-4 days of rest, although this does not preclude external vulva play. To expedite the healing process, it is recommended that the female stay at least 50 feet from large African American males. Symptoms include swelling, soreness, chafing and discomfort while urinating.
Mike 1: Yo did you see the latest Sixers draft pick?
Mike 2: Yea man, he looks like a guy that would give my lady a serious cuntusion.
Mike 2: Yea man, he looks like a guy that would give my lady a serious cuntusion.
by Mike and Mike the Accountants March 31, 2017
A Siberian mudslide can be performed via multiple sexual positions and among both heterosexual and homosexual partners, however doggystyle is the preferable position for maximum value. It is also recommended that you ingest a large helping of horse laxatives approximately 30-40 minutes before sex. After ejaculating onto your partner's back (preferably as high as possible without entering the neck area), quickly point your anus onto the semen that you've just laid and defecate as much as possible before your partner moves. Your partner will quickly realize what is transpiring, causing him or her to quickly jump up, thus causing the whitish-brown semen feces explosion to slide down his or her back, thus resembling an icy mudslide in Siberia.
Mike 1: Yo you'll never guess what I did to my wife last night!
Mike 2: Dude what???
Mike 1: I took 30 grams of pure bear laxatives, came on her back and gave her a good old Siberian mudslide.
Mike 2: Dude no way, let me get some of those laxatives and I'll try it tonight!
Mike 2: Dude what???
Mike 1: I took 30 grams of pure bear laxatives, came on her back and gave her a good old Siberian mudslide.
Mike 2: Dude no way, let me get some of those laxatives and I'll try it tonight!
by Mike and Mike the Accountants February 10, 2017
This act normally occurs during heterosexual intercourse performed in the "reverse cowgirl" position, but can occur in the midst of other positions. While the man's penis is inside the woman and she moves too far one way (typically towards the man's feet), causing an outstretched, uncomfortable sensation for the man.
Mike 2: Me Julie was riding me reverse cowgirl last night and gave my dick a serious case of cuntorsion the way she was movin.
Mike 1: Weird, that never seems to happen to me...
Mike 1: Weird, that never seems to happen to me...
by Mike and Mike the Accountants April 14, 2017
When one skips the first few minutes of a pornographic video (in most cases, free and online) that set up the plot of the porn. These few minutes are often filled by poor acting and frequently face plot issues such as hesitancy toward incest, sexual ultimatums, school girls offering sexual favors to their teachers, etc. Some pornographic sites have recently begun to do everyone a favor and provide bookmarks in their videos so that one may "fap forward" precisely to the sexual content.
Mike 1: Yo I was hesitant to click on this 50 minute porno on Brazzers last night but it was totally worth it!
Mike 2: Wow you sat through the whole thing?
Mike 1: No I just fap forwarded 38 minutes past the principal convincing the school girl to deep-throat his chode.
Mike 2: Wow you sat through the whole thing?
Mike 1: No I just fap forwarded 38 minutes past the principal convincing the school girl to deep-throat his chode.
by Mike and Mike the Accountants April 28, 2017