MRT2's definitions

Hee-Haw

A hillbilly variety show, which aired from 1969 - '91, first on CBS, and later in syndication. Famous for reinforcing the most negative, backwards aspects of country music, as well as the world's largest succession of thoroughly unfunny jokes, not to mention a smattering of gingham-clad T&A.

Convicted criminals should be sentenced to watching "Hee-Haw"

by MRT2 October 7, 2006

jimmy carter

Thirty-ninth President of the U.S., seving from 1977 - 81, and most likely the last U.S. President with real integrity we will see in our lifetimes. Though he was unable to solve a number of domestic issues, he was a true world leader and put human rights on the map. Brought back dignity, decency and respect to the Oval Office, after the Nixon scandals. Deservedly won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002.

History will judge President Jimmy Carter well.

by MRT2 October 10, 2006

lucy

Sarcastic, malicious dark haired girl from the Peanuts comic strip and animated TV specials who was an absolute bitch to Charlie Brown. Frequently offered to hold a football for him to kick, but would always pull it away at the last second, resulting in his flying through the air and landing flat on his ass. Was madly in love with musical prodigy Schroeder, though he barely noticed her. Occasionally ran a psychiatric booth (with a copay of five cents), though Snoopy was her only patient.

Charlie Brown should have put anthrax in Lucy's Hawaiian Punch.

by MRT2 October 11, 2006

edith

Archie Bunker's dim-witted, yet insightful wife on the legendary 1970s sitcom All in the Family.

Archie: Do you know what VD is, Edith?
Edith: Don't tell me, I think it's initials for some kind of holiday...oh yeah, VD Day!

by MRT2 October 10, 2006

Emmylou Harris

A singer and songwriter who got her start as Gram Parsons' musical sidekick, and has since worked with the likes of Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan and Neil Young, as well as having recorded a string acclaimed, Grammy-winning solo albums. Is known for her uncompromising musical integrity.

If Emmylou Harris' song "Boulder to Birmingham" doesn't make you cry, I suggest you see your physician to ensure your tearducts are working properly.

by MRT2 October 8, 2006

red states

States in which large segments of its citizens walk around with their heads up their asses, pulling them out only long enough to burn a cross or make a bigoted statement. Usually vote Republican, even though their populations are comprised largely of individuals living near or below the poverty line and thus unlikely to be favored by Republican tax and fiscal policies.

It would be wonderful if we could get from New York to California without having to cross through any red states.

by MRT2 September 25, 2006

henry kissinger

A former Secretary of State who, despite having won the Nobel Peace Prize -- a slap in the face to those who TRULY have spent their lives supporting human rights and working for the betterment of humankind -- should be sitting in an international prison as a war criminal. Among his many (mis)deeds were sabotaging the 1968 Paris Peace Talks (thus tacking on another five years of U.S. involvement in the Vietnam conflict), and his key role in orchestrating the 1973 coup in Chile which put murderous Pinochet into power.

He reportedly no longer travels abroad without first consulting his lawyers about the possibility of his being arrested.

Henry Kissinger is the antichrist.

by MRT2 September 24, 2008