Scrot rot

Slang abbreviation of the fungal disease 'Scrophulareaceae Rot'

Although this invigorating fungi is primarily to be found growing on plants within the Scrophulareaceae family; it can also commonly be observed (under magnification) on Woolly bush (Adenanthos serecieus) and on the hirsute gonad pouch of the lesser brained Random bogan
Bogan1: "Tafe was so luke warm today; it is a good thing I had the scrot rot to keep me company"
Bogan2 (bogan in denial of being a bogan): You are such a Bogan

Dude1: "Dude, I have to tell you something; I dont think you are going to be krossd about it"
Dude2: "Dude, you know you can tell me anything dude. You're like my brother from another mother, dude"
Dude1: Well since you brought that up. I caught the scrot rot from you mums hot knickers dude; I'm sorry dude, but Im so scared, please hold me dude"
Dude2: Fuck off you Random bogan mother fucker
Dude1: Fair enough dude

In all seriousness folks, we have to inform you that the risk of contracting 'Scrot rot' in todays world of automobiles, double ended purple dildo bongs and other such fancy stuff is all too real.
We must protect ourselves; we must preserve our way of life for the good of humanity; for the survival of the earth herself.
Please; if you care you can help, you can make a real difference – it will only take half an hour or so a week out of your busy life, and it is both satisfying and easy to do. Take the time to shave or wax your 'fun zone' - it is the only way we can contain this epidemic and save countless souls the undeniable agony of itchy nuts.

Thankyou for your consideration of this matter.

This community service announcement was generously brought to you by the guys n’ gals down at:
Be a better Bogan inc.
Bobs dildo shop “From big to small, we shall fill them all”
And
Lionels house of Mirkin “mmm… Lionels”
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
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Church of Cliff Richard

Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason

Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.

These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love

Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:

And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:

“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”

Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.

Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.

Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”

Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Freedom

Freedom is basically the right to be treated as an equal.
No-one has the right to exert any form of power over another, for any reason at all.
We all differ physically & intellectually; and circumstances do vary based both on merit and luck. We however diminish ourselves by using any of these 'advantages' to exert power.
Anyone who believes that they are better than another for whatever reason; is basically shallow and deluded.
If you do the right thing for the right reason and positively benefit the universe; you are far more likely to achieve happiness and essentially be at peace with yourself. Your conscience will always be there, it will always remember and it will hold you accountable. Do not delude yourself on this; the easy path often leads to great peril for your soul.
When you are doing something wrong, you are aware of it. You can lie to yourself (as many do), but what is the point? really that is just silly.
It is just as easy to make the right choice as is it to make the wrong one.
You have the freedom to disobey orders or rules (Refer norms).
You have the strength to do what needs to be done to try to benefit everything that exists.

Okay; I understand that things may already be in place; things are unfortunately not that simple. however, you can change your job, you can quit the military (hopefully), you can change how you act!!
It is possible to be in charge of a 100 people and not be an arsehole. If you are in charge of that many people you have the privilege of being able to increase the happiness of all of those souls. Sure, some of them wont appreciate it (Refer: Bogan) and there may be a price to pay, depending on the action that you take (remember: small steps still lead somewhere). But, it is still the right thing - its that simple.

Do you think you are something special? - prove it

Okay, thats all standard if rather random & verbose

Guess what!! - we are not the only things with brains on this planet - oh my god, who would have thought!!

Now we get to the meat of the matter....

Meat; yep, thats right.

A heathen is one who is spiritually unenlightened. I would assume that the majority of contemporary religions would agree that this is true. They are unfortunately all under the delusion that their particular doctrine is the correct one.

"My parents said god is made of hemp and rice and loves the cock"
The example above is of course the truth, however a lot of you would have been told similar stories by your parents, such as:

"God is all knowing and all seeing"
"Animals were put on this earth for us to increase our egos and to make our arses fatterer if we so desire"
"God had a son called Jesus, who was an Anglo-Saxon carpenter"

I am sorry; but if you believe that shit, you are not even fit to lick the windows of the short bus.
what makes you so sure that yours is the right path to follow, are your parents really that bright (cant be, because they listened to their parents!)

Anyway I digress (again)
The point I was trying to make was:
You do not have the right to control something elses life. You are a random bogan at best if you believe you can.
Sorry, its not 'a steak' its somethings leg or arse - you are truly a sick fuck.
These animals are bred in captivity, treated like shit by dickless red-neck duck fuckers and then murdered to feed your fat arse. What the fuck is that about, what is wrong with you?
It takes approximately 50 times the amount of protein to raise a cow to a murderable size as what you get out of it when you eat the poor fukka.
Doesnt make any sense apart from keeping the wheels turning for the rich morons and fucking up this beautiful planet that we all live on.

Apart form that - it is wrong, you do not have the right.
You cannot judge yourself to be superior to anything for any reason. The universe alone will judge you.
"I am Human, i am the smarterest thing in existence" too fuckin' funny dude, listen to you; if you believe that is true, you have such a long way to go.
Like most concepts, freedom is a tad more complex than most have ever considered.

While the term freedom generally conjures up images of slavery or detention in the minds of most norms; it is also intrinsic in every aspect of daily life.
ie.
Freedom to be yourself
Freedom to make your own choices
Freedom to express yourself
Freedom to do the right thing for the right reason.

Be honest with yourself and you will be free.

The problem is that you have to be honest with yourself in order to be honest with yourself - still dont get it?

If you are reading this and believe that you are doing the right thing for the right reason and that you do care for others at least as much as you care for yourself and that you are not limiting the freedom of others - then you are most likely deluded.

All of us can do more, we can all make some difference. We all know what is right and what is wrong.
We are just mainly too shallow, selfish and lazy to do anything about anything.

Stop eating meat
Dont abuse your children or anything else in any way
Dont yell at or hit 'your' pets, its not their fault you dont realise that they dont speak your language.
Do not intimidate
Do not exert control over others!!

I freely admit that I lost the plot on this one altogether.
That is my right - that is freedom

Wake up - the universe awaits

Monday 01/09/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
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Norms

Everyone who is not willing to:
Think for, or be themselves.

Deriving from the word ‘Normal’
While normal has traditionally been considered to be a good thing to be; traditionally people have also clearly been fucktards; just look around you, we have fucked the planet that we live on, not real bright eh!!
Norms are everywhere

You don’t have to ‘dare to be different’; if you do that you are just another norm
Be whoever you are (unless you are a Bogan; way too many Bogans out there already)
Stand up for what you believe in
Dress how you want to dress
Listen to the music that you like
Don’t follow or make trends
Give a fuck by not giving a fuck
Express yourself (no, not like Madonna; like you!!)

Tuesday 06/01/2009
by Luke Warm January 06, 2009
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Succubus

A beautiful spirit who sucks the souls out of men while they sleep
Bella, my soul was always yours from before time.
you are not a Succubus; you have claimed what is rightfully yours and i gave it freely.
by Luke Warm October 15, 2008
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The Wanders

Imagine this senario:
You assertively walk into another room, you are focused, you have a purpose. People stop and stare because they can see you are not taking silver; small animals scurry with fervour away from your approaching footsteps; the clock ticks one last time....
You enter the room, you have reached your destination, the treasure is almost within your grasp; you can almost taste it, you want it oh so bad.
But then...
You have absolutely no idea what you were looking for or why you got off of your hot arse in the first place.

You retrace your steps; try ever so hard to remember what you were even doing, and just keep drawing blanks.
You have just experienced 'The Wanders'
Sandy: What are you looking for Bella?
Bella: Huh?
Sandy: Fair enough
Bella: Sorry boganface, just got the wanders
Sandy: It happens; maybe if you smoke a few Jades you will remember what the fuck you were looking for
Bella: Nah, i got it now; have you seen my lilac dolphin dildo?
Sandy: Ummm... yeah, Im keeping it warm for you
Bella: You are a sick fuck Sandy; definately time for treasure now
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
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Questions

All that is left when there are no answers
These are some examples of questions:

What did I do wrong?

What didn’t I do right?

How can you not trust me?

How can you not love me when my love for you is everything?

How can you let it fade away?

I’m up your bum, cant you feel it?

Why do you let yourself be held back?

Why didn’t you leave Tracey in Victoria; she is a Bogan & a crack ho ?

How can you forget feelings?

How can you say I read too much into things and still accuse me twice of 'psychic harassment'?

Why do you lie to me?

Why do you feel the need to lie to me?

How can you make a decision not to love someone?

How can you stand being so fucking hot?

How do you expect me to be hard when I cant tell you I love you while Im making love with you; i dont get to hold you afterwards and you're not even going to like me the next week?

How could I ever love again?

How could I do that to myself or to anyone else again?

Why would I tell you I’m in love with you if I didn’t mean it?

Why don’t you understand that falling in love with someone when you are not looking for it and you already think you are in love makes it even more real?

Why does your pussy fit my face so well? (well it does, I’m just saying)

Why do you always lie?

Why aren’t you here with me right now?

Thursday 28/08/2008
by Luke Warm December 18, 2008
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