10 definitions by Lord Football

Woody

To going missing for large periods of time without any prior notice.

Lord Lucan did a woody.

by Lord Football March 10, 2005

elko

An elko is a little shit. Normally associated with the after curry belly burn, when despite the complete agony of stomach cramps, all you can muster is a runny little turd. This called an elko.

Christ! My guts are killing me, but all I can get out is an elko.

by Lord Football March 13, 2005

Jockney

An insecure smartarse. Comes across as incredibly intelligent and articulate - especially when behind a keyboard. Unfortuntely, in the real word a bit of stumbling, mumbling idiot who is a social spastic, particularly amongst members of the opposite sex.

I met this fella on line and we went for a drink. He didn't know any pubs. When we eventually found one he ordered a Horlicks. What a complete Jockney.

by Lord Football September 7, 2008

piss gargling

What is says on the packet really. The art of gargling your own piss, or the piss of another, as you would mouth wash. Very popular with watersport enthusiasts and Jane Fonda (who claims it keeps her healthy). I would imagine it is bad for halitosis.

I wouldn't kiss her after I found out she was a piss gargler.

by Lord Football March 20, 2005

cuntmould

The female version of knobcheese. A build up of bacteria around the vagina due to not washing.

I couldn't go down on her, she had a bad case of cuntmould.

by Lord Football February 26, 2005

Rocky

there is an old naval saying about being put into the barrell. This involved a seaman being put into a barrell with a hole in it and then fucked around the deck by the other seaman. He was put in the barrell so that he could not been seen by the others and he could not see who is abusers were. The person put in the barrell was a called a "Rocky". This practice was especially prelevant on pirate ships.

You always know to call a gay pirate. A Rocky.

by Lord Football March 13, 2005

Cheese Whack

Cheese whacking is something that only can be by men who are well endowed. It entails removing one's penis and smacking it on a solid surface - normally a table. A really good cheese whack will not only make a half decent noise it will also leave a knobcheese stain on the surface in question.

Cheese whacking can have several meanings. Normally it means "look at my cock, isn't it big". However, it can also take the form of abusing an inanimate object, such as a computer.

Tom got really angry with the server, so he cheese whacked it.

by Lord Football April 4, 2005