Long Johns's definitions

#Selfie

A #selfie, a picture that is self taken over and over and can never be pleased with the slight areas of issues to have with features...like blemishes, wonky eye, big nose, stiff upper lip, double chin....bless whoever has all of those and not just the one!!!

Jilly: (snap) mmmm, now which one should I use? (asks her teddy bear)

Teddy: (just stares)

Jill: well you're no help, you're suppose to point out how beautiful I am.

Teddy: (just stares with a slight shrugging look this time)

Jill: so which #selfie pic am I supposed to use then....mmmmm, how about all of them?

Teddy: (just stares this time with sheer panic)

If only teddy bear could shake his head frantically!!!

by Long Johns November 27, 2013

Spill the beans

The inform some one of the truth, to let them know in honesty, have any one be told what they wish to hear.

After Sandra and Dave gave birth to a baby boy, Dave started to doubt his new born child. One night while Sandra was out playing bingo with the girlies, leaving Dave to take care for his new toddler. Sitting in his high chair being fed his supper, Dave asks, 'now son, come on spill the beans. Who is really your father?' And the beans went all over his face.

by Long Johns October 21, 2015

Waiting for the dust to settle.

As many think of today for some atmospheric clearance of waiting for the dust to settle, it is actually a moment for grief. That time shared and spent during the moments of having someones ashes and the distance it takes till that dust settles to move on.

Sad Joan recently lost her beloved dog. A pet she was always walking everyday, seen by everyone, and spoken to as their nearest and dearest.

Having a cremation for her long lost pet, she carefully placed the ashes upon her mantle piece.
Each day as her closest friends paid their respectful concerns, as they were waiting for the dust to settle. Then the days were becoming brighter again.

by Long Johns October 4, 2014

Noodies

When to take a more revealing #Selfie and show everyone your Noodies.

After several bathroom selfies, Jay decided to take some noodies of himself to impress the potential interests.

by Long Johns September 10, 2016

Gang Tripping

When to get feels of a gangsta style through listening to music, studying art, watching a movie/drama, and come over gang tripping.

Joe bouncing along the street with music pumping into his ear holes.
As soon as a ruff n tuff tune comes on, Joe is suddenly gang tripping and his pace changes too.

by Long Johns January 27, 2024

Can I get a witness

Back in the days when the law was truly an ass, a witness was strong enough to cast judgement on any poor soul they wish to pass blame. Sometimes it took knocking on peoples doors to ask 'can I get a witness', and where the idea for Jehovah Witnesses come from for knocking on peoples doors and throwing the book at them. Taking desperate measures to either clear someones name or to pass blame on to another. Can also be used for those quick marriages some like to have that same day when only set eyes on someone.

Woman: "I'm desperate, please help me to save my son....please, I beg of you."
Stranger: "ok, I see what I can do."
Woman: "thank you, thank you, praise the lord."
Stranger: "Can I get a witness?"
Random Passer-by: "Sure, I'll say he was with me all the time."

by Long Johns August 25, 2013

Tiffs

Those petty, small arguements, quarrels, lovers tiffs, wind-ups.

To accompany the saying 'Tiffs, Taffs and Tantrums'.

Tiffs - arguements, quarrels, lovers tiffs.

Taffs - those usual things.

Tantrums - tears, upsets, unloved.

by Long Johns August 3, 2011