Definitions by King Festus

Formal Diarrhea 

When you are away from home and are overcome with the urge to blow mud. The feeling is so fierce, that you must A. Go home to pour dung or B. Head to an establishment with a nice, clean bathroom setting. Tie preferred, no jacket required.

"Man, I was at work and needed to broadcast feces, but there was a co-worker in the stall next to me. Rather than paint the bowel there, I headed home to have Formal Diarrhea ."

Formal Diarrhea by King Festus August 9, 2006

dickfish 

Slang term for blonde catfish usually caught in the Sacramento River Delta. These catfish are usually the size of a nice penis.

"Did you catch anything?"

"Nah, just a half-dozen dickfish."

dickfish by King Festus December 4, 2005

Karl Malden 

A Vodka Soda with ice.

What would you like with your supper? I'll have a Karl Malden.

Karl Malden by King Festus September 26, 2005

stories 

What white-trash call Television shows.

Bubba, run to the Piggly Wiggly and pick mamma up some smokes. I don't want to miss my stories.

stories by King Festus September 26, 2005

misclean 

When you do a poor job of wiping your anus after crapping.

Oh man, I am so itchy and uncomfortable. I miscleaned.

misclean by King Festus June 16, 2005

shit ton 

a lot

I have a shit ton of beers in my fridge.

shit ton by King Festus August 21, 2003