Kate Sjostrand's definitions

RTSS

RTSS is an acronym for Reverse Telecommuting – Spousal Support (RTSS), and is defined as the execution of non-employment activities at one’s place of employment as directed (requested) by a spouse or significant other. RTSS can have an adverse effect on the mental well-being of participating males, leading to general aggravation and subsequent participation in a male bitch session.

Ted: Hey, you want to go grab a burger for lunch?

Ralph: Maybe, if I can finish this fuckin’ RTSS.

Ted: Man, that’s rough.

Ralph: Tell me about it. If I had known I’d be doing fucking taxes all day, I’d of just stayed home and sucked down a six.

by Kate Sjostrand April 15, 2008

panties

A word used to challenge another's masculinity, especially when drinking coffee.

Ted: Would you like a cup of coffee?

Ralph: Sure.

Upon receiving the cup, Ralph starts putting sugar and cream into his coffee.

Ted: Would you like some panties with that coffee?

by Kate Sjostrand February 20, 2008

wri'en

A Latino variant of the word written, describing the formation (as characters or symbols) on a surface (paper, cardboard, wall, etc.) with an instrument (pen, pencil, can of spraypaint, etc.). The refusal to enunciate the double “t” sound is most often utilized by Latino women.

Maria: Should I write the le'er to the warden?

Teresa: I've already wri'en it.

by Kate Sjostrand February 22, 2008

Counting

The incremental process that we teach to our 3 year olds so that they know how to accurately articulate the number of desired cookies. Counting is sometimes used to achieve an election result, but more often is seen in the private sector as a mechanism of identifying the millionth product sold by a given manufacturer.

Ted: How did they figure out who bought the billionth McDonald's cheeseburger?

Ralph: They were counting.

by Kate Sjostrand February 14, 2008

Disneyland Dad

Term used to describe the role that some divorced fathers fulfill, whereby they tend their biological children during certain prescribed times during the year (much like a vacation) rather than be a father full time.

Maria: You can take the children weekends during the summer.

Ted: No way! I'm not going to be a Disneyland Dad!

by Kate Sjostrand February 20, 2008

road wood

An erection caused from vibrations felt while riding in a car, (typically in a male).

Ted: Dude, I have to stop and get some coffee. You comin in?

Ralph: No, I think I'll hit the head, I've got some road wood that I gotta kill.

by Kate Sjostrand February 20, 2008

Plato

A phalange cut presumedly from the foot of a corpse and worn around one’s neck with common household string. It is primarily worn for luck, as it serves no apparent utilitarian purpose.

Ted: Dude, is that a real toe around your neck?

Ralph: No, it's a Plato that I wear primarily for luck.

by Kate Sjostrand April 5, 2008