Definitions by Kate Sjostrand

RTSS 

RTSS is an acronym for Reverse Telecommuting – Spousal Support (RTSS), and is defined as the execution of non-employment activities at one’s place of employment as directed (requested) by a spouse or significant other. RTSS can have an adverse effect on the mental well-being of participating males, leading to general aggravation and subsequent participation in a male bitch session.

Ted: Hey, you want to go grab a burger for lunch?

Ralph: Maybe, if I can finish this fuckin’ RTSS.

Ted: Man, that’s rough.

Ralph: Tell me about it. If I had known I’d be doing fucking taxes all day, I’d of just stayed home and sucked down a six.

RTSS by Kate Sjostrand April 15, 2008

postgame 

after, subsequent, later than, or following after a game. It is a time marked by alcohol consumption, both in celebration and in depressive anxiety resulting from loss, depending upon which team you are on or support.

Ted: Man, that was one hell of a game. Did you see that pass?

Ralph: Yeah, I saw it. It'll be flashing behind my eyes for the remainder of postgame when I'm drowning my sorrow in suds.

postgame by Kate Sjostrand April 5, 2008

Plato 

A phalange cut presumedly from the foot of a corpse and worn around one’s neck with common household string. It is primarily worn for luck, as it serves no apparent utilitarian purpose.

Ted: Dude, is that a real toe around your neck?

Ralph: No, it's a Plato that I wear primarily for luck.

Plato by Kate Sjostrand April 5, 2008

shy penis 

Shy Penis is a term used to describe a general state of shock exhibited by one's penis in the presence of other men, most particularly when attempting to urinate.

Ted stands by the urinal and pops it out just as Ralph walks into the bathroom. Ted waits and waits and waits, but is unable to force the pee out.

Ralph: What's taking so long? I have to go!

Ted: Seem to have a slight case of shy penis.

shy penis by Kate Sjostrand April 2, 2008

swedish dildo 

Another name for a double-sided dildo utilized when two bottom gay males have sex.

Ted: Hey, I was watchin some gay porn last night, and two bottoms were rammin asses with this weird thing in between them.

Ralph: Oh yeah? It was probably a swedish dildo.

swedish dildo by Kate Sjostrand April 1, 2008

christmas came early 

The expression "christmas came early" originated in northern New Mexico. In this case, "christmas" refers to the unique combination of both red chile and green chile on your breakfast burrito. The fiery blend has a unique chemical reaction that results in premature bowel movements that are tainted with the fire of the chile. Thus, when one has a BM after consuming a christmas breakfast burrito, christmas is said to have come early.

Ralph: Oh, man! It's only 10:00 am and that loaf I dropped felt like fire!

Ted: Sounds like christmas came early.

christmas came early by Kate Sjostrand March 21, 2008

recession 

Recession is the decline in a country's gross domestic product (GDP), or negative real economic growth, for two or more successive quarters of a year. The term recession, however, has been utilized in recent decades by politicians to distort the economic outlook and reframe in more positive terms rather than have to address the looming economic depression.

Ralph: Dude, the feds just lowered interest rates and backed a takeover of a large investment bank after acknowledging that we might be in a recession.

Ted: This recession's been going on since Bush took over. How long until we call it an economic depression?

recession by Kate Sjostrand March 21, 2008