Joshua B. Wright's definitions
"Not wanting to miss out on the big discount coffin sale at the local morgue, Pete decided to speed rashly in order to beat the deadline, judging that even in the worst case scenario this would enable him to take advantage of the terrific one-time savings."
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
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Best known for its exploits as a rogue NES developer, Color Dreams was the only third party software company to produce unlicensed NES carts without being successfully sued. By employing an embarrassingly simple hack, Color Dreams engineers were able to create game carts that bypassed the NES's authentication circuitry without violating Nintendo's intellectual property.
This isn't to say that Color Dreams was a success, mind you; aside from its creative hacking practices, Color Dreams is probably most famous as the development house that gave birth to the notorious Bible Adventures - a gaudy slog through Old Testament cliches notable only for what may well be the biggest gaffe in the history of gaming.
Amazingly enough, Color Dreams dwindles on under its subsidiary, "Wisdom Tree Software." Indeed, game collectors and those of morbid curiosity should take note that as of this writing, it was even possible to order Color Dreams titles through a 1-800 number. A bit of googling should reveal the specifics - contact information has been withheld here in the interests of the innocent.
Best known for its exploits as a rogue NES developer, Color Dreams was the only third party software company to produce unlicensed NES carts without being successfully sued. By employing an embarrassingly simple hack, Color Dreams engineers were able to create game carts that bypassed the NES's authentication circuitry without violating Nintendo's intellectual property.
This isn't to say that Color Dreams was a success, mind you; aside from its creative hacking practices, Color Dreams is probably most famous as the development house that gave birth to the notorious Bible Adventures - a gaudy slog through Old Testament cliches notable only for what may well be the biggest gaffe in the history of gaming.
Amazingly enough, Color Dreams dwindles on under its subsidiary, "Wisdom Tree Software." Indeed, game collectors and those of morbid curiosity should take note that as of this writing, it was even possible to order Color Dreams titles through a 1-800 number. A bit of googling should reveal the specifics - contact information has been withheld here in the interests of the innocent.
by Joshua B. Wright April 4, 2004
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Absolutely any woman, regardless of talent, who establishes a singing career and appears on television.
Absolutely any woman, regardless of talent, who establishes a singing career and appears on television.
"...to the contrary, Pete - over the past decade we've witnessed a veritable explosion in the population of divas, for instance. In fact, our research shows that the years between nineteen ninety and the present date saw the emergence of more divas than the previous one hundred years. Ultimately, I think that reports of the death of high culture simply don't square with the numbers."
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
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The late TV side-kick of the legendary British comedian Benny Hill, Jack Wright was the constant recipient of what came to be Hill's signature "head pat" - a comic device for which Wright's conspicuously bald, wizened head undoubtedly made him uniquely well suited.
The late TV side-kick of the legendary British comedian Benny Hill, Jack Wright was the constant recipient of what came to be Hill's signature "head pat" - a comic device for which Wright's conspicuously bald, wizened head undoubtedly made him uniquely well suited.
Entry number 541 in The Big Book of 1000 Things You Never Want to Hear on a First Date: "I know! You look just like that little guy on Benny Hill! What was his name... oh yeah, Jack Wright!"
Mark: "C'mon man, you've gotta go! I mean, we're a team, a classic duo!"
Dave: "...Right..."
Mark: "...like Cheech and Chong!"
Dave: "Uh huh."
Mark: "...like Sonny and Cher!"
Dave: "Uh..."
Mark: "...like Benny Hill and Jack Wright!"
Dave: "..."
Dave "Drink poison."
Mark: "C'mon man, you've gotta go! I mean, we're a team, a classic duo!"
Dave: "...Right..."
Mark: "...like Cheech and Chong!"
Dave: "Uh huh."
Mark: "...like Sonny and Cher!"
Dave: "Uh..."
Mark: "...like Benny Hill and Jack Wright!"
Dave: "..."
Dave "Drink poison."
by Joshua B. Wright April 7, 2004
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Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.
Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.
Also see mental constipation.
Any of a number of conditions characterized by the involuntary suspension of mental processes crucial to self-expression and/or higher reasoning.
Cases of cognitive impaction can frequently be identified by inarticulate attempts at discourse, extended guttural utterances, slack-jaws and bugged out eyes on the part of the afflicted. Treatments are highly specific to each variety of cognitive impaction and range from a slap "upside" the head to a deadline in the most severe cases.
Also see mental constipation.
"Overwhelmed at the prospect of having the bounty of an entire doughnut shop all to himself, Homer immediately suffered a massive cognitive impaction that reduced him to little more than a drooling mass of manflesh."
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters as an appraisal of a particularly apt or acute rejoinder - the winning move in a war of words.
An expression frequently employed by IRC chatters and message board posters as an appraisal of a particularly apt or acute rejoinder - the winning move in a war of words.
H4x0r J03: "LOLR0FL DUD3Z U WRI73 F4NFICZ??!!11!! 0MFGROFL!!!!1!! TH47 I5 3NUF T0 M4K3Z YU0 4LL T3H 0T4KU F4NB0I L4M3RZ!!!"
Mark: "Not like your fifty gigabyte collection of pirated DBZ mpegs huh?"
Dave: "Flawless victory!"
Mark: "Not like your fifty gigabyte collection of pirated DBZ mpegs huh?"
Dave: "Flawless victory!"
by Joshua B. Wright April 10, 2004
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In the vain of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, this obscure pop-culture ejaculation finds its origin in the now notorious NES platformer Bible Adventures. A quirk of the game's mechanics enabled the player, otherwise entrusted with the safe conveyance of the baby Moses across the Nile, to commit a most heinous act of infanticide by tossing the little fellow in the drink. The player would then be admonished at the conclusion of the mission that he or she had "forgotten baby Moses" - no doubt to the delight of the thousands of disgruntled children inclined to such acts of violence by being forced to play Bible Adventures instead of a real video game.
As an expression, its variety in use is exceeded only by its capacity to offend. Generally, however, "Drown Baby Moses" is employed referentially in comparisons with gaffes of a similar nature; in disputes over which video game gaffe is the worst, it is often invoked as a trump card.
In the vain of ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US, this obscure pop-culture ejaculation finds its origin in the now notorious NES platformer Bible Adventures. A quirk of the game's mechanics enabled the player, otherwise entrusted with the safe conveyance of the baby Moses across the Nile, to commit a most heinous act of infanticide by tossing the little fellow in the drink. The player would then be admonished at the conclusion of the mission that he or she had "forgotten baby Moses" - no doubt to the delight of the thousands of disgruntled children inclined to such acts of violence by being forced to play Bible Adventures instead of a real video game.
As an expression, its variety in use is exceeded only by its capacity to offend. Generally, however, "Drown Baby Moses" is employed referentially in comparisons with gaffes of a similar nature; in disputes over which video game gaffe is the worst, it is often invoked as a trump card.
by Joshua B. Wright April 5, 2004
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