Joreth's definitions
A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship.
Commentary: Compersion can be thought of as the opposite of "jealousy;" it is a positive emotional reaction to a loved one's other relationship. The term was coined by the Kerista Commune. It differs from candaulism in that compersion does not specifically refer to joy regarding the sexual activity of one's partner, but refers instead to joy at the relationship with another romantic and/or sexual partner. It is analagous to the feeling of joy a parent feels when their children marry or that best friends feel for each other when they are happy in a romantic relationship.
Commentary: Compersion can be thought of as the opposite of "jealousy;" it is a positive emotional reaction to a loved one's other relationship. The term was coined by the Kerista Commune. It differs from candaulism in that compersion does not specifically refer to joy regarding the sexual activity of one's partner, but refers instead to joy at the relationship with another romantic and/or sexual partner. It is analagous to the feeling of joy a parent feels when their children marry or that best friends feel for each other when they are happy in a romantic relationship.
I feel compersion when I see my husband come home happy from spending time with his girlfriend. His happiness brings me happiness
by Joreth April 8, 2010
Get the Compersion mug.A person who practices polyamory in a way that tends to separate, compartmentalize, or isolate all of his or her romantic relationships from one another, treating each as a separate entity. A free agent often presents himself or herself as "single" or behaves in ways which are typically associated with the behavior of a single person even when he or she has romantic partners, and often does not consider the potential impact of new relationships upon existing relationships when deciding whether or not to pursue those new relationships.
Commentary: Some believe there are not necessarily two distinct styles of polyamory, those of Free Agent and Family-Oriented. But rather there is a continuum with Free Agent on one end and Family-Oriented on the other. Most people fall somewhere in the middle to one side or the other, with extreme examples of Free Agent resembling casual sex partners or friends with benefits where the partners have no contact and possibly even no knowledge of each other (but an acknowledgement of an open relationship or no sexual committment); and extreme examples of Family-Oriented resembling Polyfidelitous relationships where any new partner of anyone in the Polyfidelitous group automatically has an equal relationship with all other members of the group. Some people are capable of having relationships of varying degrees of emotional intimacy and may slide along the continuum at different times with different relationships.
Commentary: Some believe there are not necessarily two distinct styles of polyamory, those of Free Agent and Family-Oriented. But rather there is a continuum with Free Agent on one end and Family-Oriented on the other. Most people fall somewhere in the middle to one side or the other, with extreme examples of Free Agent resembling casual sex partners or friends with benefits where the partners have no contact and possibly even no knowledge of each other (but an acknowledgement of an open relationship or no sexual committment); and extreme examples of Family-Oriented resembling Polyfidelitous relationships where any new partner of anyone in the Polyfidelitous group automatically has an equal relationship with all other members of the group. Some people are capable of having relationships of varying degrees of emotional intimacy and may slide along the continuum at different times with different relationships.
John is dating Sally and Suzy, but Sally and Suzy have not met and do not know each other and John does not consult Sally or Suzy when deciding to take on more partners. John is a Free Agent
by Joreth April 8, 2010
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1. A partner's other partner; metamour.
2. A person's partner, sometimes but not always a non-primary or non-spouse partner
1. A partner's other partner; metamour.
2. A person's partner, sometimes but not always a non-primary or non-spouse partner
by Joreth April 8, 2010
Get the OSO mug.Literally, meta = with; about + amor = love. The partner of one's partner, with whom one does not share a direct sexual or loving relationship
My wife's boyfriend is my metamour
by Joreth April 8, 2010
Get the Metamour mug.Adj.
Prescripted comes from Prescribe: Latin, praescribere =
1. to write at the beginning, dictate, order;
2. to lay down a rule : DICTATE;
3. to lay down as a guide, direction, or rule of action : ORDAIN;
4. to specify with authority.
To prescript a relationship, then, is to create a set of rules governing the relationship before the people involved ever get into said relationship. These rules are often set up to define a relationship involving someone who is not even in existence yet and therefore cannot give his or her input into the relationship agreements, such as a married couple deciding the rules for a future extramarital partner before even finding one.
By contrast, a descriptive relationship describes the relationship as it is at the time with input from all involved.
Prescripted comes from Prescribe: Latin, praescribere =
1. to write at the beginning, dictate, order;
2. to lay down a rule : DICTATE;
3. to lay down as a guide, direction, or rule of action : ORDAIN;
4. to specify with authority.
To prescript a relationship, then, is to create a set of rules governing the relationship before the people involved ever get into said relationship. These rules are often set up to define a relationship involving someone who is not even in existence yet and therefore cannot give his or her input into the relationship agreements, such as a married couple deciding the rules for a future extramarital partner before even finding one.
By contrast, a descriptive relationship describes the relationship as it is at the time with input from all involved.
Even though John and Mary haven't met anyone they're interested in yet, they have decided beforehand that anyone they date will be female, in love with them both equally, single, will live no more than 10 miles away, will not call John by the nickname "bunnylips", will not eat with them at their favorite restaurant, and cannot ever listen to the song John and Mary danced to at their wedding while John and/or Mary are in the room with her. When they meet her, these rules are non-negotiable and she has no say in them. They prescripted their relationship.
by Joreth April 9, 2010
Get the Prescripted mug.Colloquial; Synonym for hot bi babe or HBB, often derogatory, condescending, or ironic. A bisexual person, usually though not always female, who is willing to join an existing couple, often with the presumption that this person will date and become sexually involved with both members of that couple, and not demand anything or do anything which might cause problems or inconvenience to that couple.
The term is often used to be dismissive of a couple seen to be only superficially polyamorous. Because of the demands that this type of couple places on the woman (that she be single and not take on any additional partners, and become involved with both members of the couple equally, and often "complete" their family as a surrogate mother and housekeeper and/or breadwinner and not do anything that may threaten or disrupt the existing couple), many in the poly community call this type of woman a "unicorn", as in mythical and not likely to be found, even though there are plenty of bipoly women around.
Sometimes the unicorn is expected to not develop any emotional attachment and is strictly there for a sexual relationship (equally distributed to both members of the dyad) and/or is prescripted as a secondary. This term is used as a reminder that bipoly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets. See related prescriptive vs. descriptive.
The term is often used to be dismissive of a couple seen to be only superficially polyamorous. Because of the demands that this type of couple places on the woman (that she be single and not take on any additional partners, and become involved with both members of the couple equally, and often "complete" their family as a surrogate mother and housekeeper and/or breadwinner and not do anything that may threaten or disrupt the existing couple), many in the poly community call this type of woman a "unicorn", as in mythical and not likely to be found, even though there are plenty of bipoly women around.
Sometimes the unicorn is expected to not develop any emotional attachment and is strictly there for a sexual relationship (equally distributed to both members of the dyad) and/or is prescripted as a secondary. This term is used as a reminder that bipoly women are people with their own desires, needs, and pre-existing lives, and not fantasy figures or pets. See related prescriptive vs. descriptive.
John wants a single, attractive woman who will love and have sex equally with him and his wife, but not interfere with their marriage, move in together, help raise their kids but not have any of her own, and not have any other partners. He's looking for something that doesn't exist - he's looking for a unicorn!
by Joreth April 8, 2010
Get the Unicorn mug.Don't Ask Don't Tell -
1) The Don't Ask Don't Tell policy in the US military, in which homosexuality was to be overlooked as long as no one asked about it and it wasn't obvious or wasn't revealed in any manner. It was intended to give gay members of the military some freedom from persecution, but has, in practice, forced gay people into the closet when revealing their relationship or sexual orientation is cause for punishment.
2) A relationship structure in which a person who is partnered is permitted to have additional sexual or romantic relationships on the condition that his or her partner does not know anything about those additional relationships and does not meet any of those other people.
Commentary: Many people in the polyamorous community frown on DADT relationships, and choose not to become involved in such relationships. There are many dangers in such relationships, including: the idea that a person who claims to be involved in such a relationship may simply be cheating (as the relationship often provides no mechanism by which that person's partner may be contacted to confirm that the relationship permits other relationships); the fact that many people choose DADT relationships as a way of avoiding and not dealing with emotional issues such as jealousy; and the fact that DADT relationships are built on a foundation of lack of communication within the existing relationship.
1) The Don't Ask Don't Tell policy in the US military, in which homosexuality was to be overlooked as long as no one asked about it and it wasn't obvious or wasn't revealed in any manner. It was intended to give gay members of the military some freedom from persecution, but has, in practice, forced gay people into the closet when revealing their relationship or sexual orientation is cause for punishment.
2) A relationship structure in which a person who is partnered is permitted to have additional sexual or romantic relationships on the condition that his or her partner does not know anything about those additional relationships and does not meet any of those other people.
Commentary: Many people in the polyamorous community frown on DADT relationships, and choose not to become involved in such relationships. There are many dangers in such relationships, including: the idea that a person who claims to be involved in such a relationship may simply be cheating (as the relationship often provides no mechanism by which that person's partner may be contacted to confirm that the relationship permits other relationships); the fact that many people choose DADT relationships as a way of avoiding and not dealing with emotional issues such as jealousy; and the fact that DADT relationships are built on a foundation of lack of communication within the existing relationship.
by Joreth April 8, 2010
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