John Heinz Kerry's definitions

Black Year

Similar to a light year, this is the distance a black person, traveling at the typical lazy-black-person-I-have-nowhere-to-be speed, covers over the course of a year. Equal to approximately three feet.

Maybe you could be at work on time if you'd travel a little quicker than a Black Year.

by John Heinz Kerry November 10, 2005

Amalance

A vehicle that takes an ebonics-speaking person to the hospital.

Pronounced "am-b-you-lance" by the English-speaking (read - "educated") world.

Tameka! We gots to get to the hospital! The amalance just camed and brang Jamaal and Dujuan ova dere.

by John Heinz Kerry January 19, 2006

1836

The "name" of Houston's newly transplanted MLS team. Officially qualifies as the stupidest, most idiotic, fucked-up name for a sports team in human history. 3 brain-damaged cavemen and a colony of ants could've come up with a better name.

The name ain't so great when it takes 30 minutes and a Texas history class to explain it.

Neal: Go . . . uh, what's the name of our team again?

Bob: It's 1836.

Neal: Oh, right. Go 1836!!!

by John Heinz Kerry January 26, 2006

dweeb

This is actually an acronym for the phrase "dick with eyebrows," you dummmies. You are calling someone a walking penis.

You are all dweebs because you did not know the origins of the word you thought you were defining.
See urbtards.

by John Heinz Kerry November 10, 2004

add

A crutch created by psychologists and used by American parents and teachers to avoid telling a child that he or she is a moron.

But, if there are no stupid kids, where do all the dumbass adults come from?

It's okay Eric, you got four F's on your report card because you have add, not because you're a fucking dummy.

by John Heinz Kerry December 4, 2006

Tookie

(1) To feed worms with a dirt nap that began around 12:30 am December 13, 2005. Shot in the arm by the anti-crime vaccine. Hooray for the needle.

(2) To show cawardice by founding one of the most despicable and hateful organizations in the history of mankind; fearing death because of your murder conviction; showing no remorse for killing four innocent people; and then writing children's books because you fear retribution for your crimes.

I hope they soon go Tookie on Scott Peterson, instead of letting him sit around for 30 years and find a reason we should feel sorry for killing him.

by John Heinz Kerry December 29, 2005

tookie

Rhymes with "spookie," a man who killed four people over about $100 in cash & then got scared & found "redemption" when he learned he was going to get the anti-crime vaccine. Complete coward.

Tookie should've been put to death about 3 weeks after he killed those four innocent people, instead of the Cullyforneean government waiting 25 years to finally pull the trigger.

by John Heinz Kerry December 19, 2005