7 definitions by John Lidgley

A game in which Geoff must run quickly and gather small, smooth stones. Having collected several hundred he then thrusts them up the arse of his long-suffering partner... the Tonibitch. Toni then bends over, and having eaten a Madras the night before, lets rip the foul delight of shit-stained stones onto Geoff's erect cock
Geoff: "Bend over you rotten cunt, I'm pebbledashing"
Toni: "Must we? I'm really tired of all this shit, can't we just make normal love"
Geoff: "Jesus... you fucking freak!"
Toni: <sigh>
by John Lidgley May 23, 2008
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Run atop roofs and slide down drainpipes until you find a lady in undressed state, smash through the window, untether your cum pipe, and ram it up her jacksie. After cumming, yell "big thanks from your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman", before throwing your fat ass out of the window.
"Hello, police, come quick, I've just been Spidey fucked!"
by John Lidgley May 23, 2008
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The male climbs atop a wardrobe or similar tall object, the female lies face down with her arse protuding in the air. The male then leaps off and attempts to engage his cock with the female arse. points can be obtained if the male actually achieves this. Extra bonus if he can smack the back of her head whilst landing.
Geoff:"I'm-a slam dunking you Terri"
Toni: "I'm lubed up to smoothen the entry"
Geoff: "Don't matter, I'm gonna knock you out anyway, cunt"
Toni: "You fucking wanker!"
by John Lidgley May 23, 2008
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Sneaking up on a tramp who's having a quiet shit in the woods, then quick as a flash, kick them in the head so they fall over, then get on your hands and knees and chow down on the fresh steaming shit. As soon as the tramp see's what your doing, pin him down and give him tongues with your shit-riddled face, then turn him over and stab his jacksie with your pork sword until he bleeds.
Toni: "WTF Geoff!... what are you doing?"
Geoff: "I'm trailer trash tailgating, bitch! Help me hold this stinky old fucker down so I can fuck his arse"
Toni: "I thought you loved me?"
Geoff: "Get to fuck!"
by John Lidgley May 23, 2008
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Having your partner shit on your bell-end whilst you wank
Geoff: "Uh uh uh, yeah baby, I'm cumming"
Toni: "Take it out, I have a turd brewing so you can have a manky wank"
Geoff: "For fuck's sake! Now I've gone limp!"
Toni: "You are such a loser"
Geoff: "Bitch!"
Toni: "Faggot!"
by John Lidgley May 23, 2008
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A cheap and very dull joke often played out by silly little girls. After a telephone conversation, the female says.. "Does your phone do this..." and then hangs up, leaving the intelligent male baffled as to exactly what is happening as he hangs on, waiting for the stupid female to talk back, but of course she has gone!
Toni: "Hey Geoff, does your phone do this..."
<silence>
Geoff: "What?"
Geoff: "Hello...?"
Geoff: "Helloooo...?"
Geoff: "Bi-atch!!"
by John Lidgley May 23, 2008
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When playing Call of Duty 4, a person called Mel sends an online invite to join the deathmatch... and then she fucking annihalates you and tells everyone about it the next day at work, totally humiliating you in the process
Geoff: "Shit, she has totally Melinated me again"
Toni: "Who the fuck is Mel, Geoff, you two-timing bastard"
Geoff: "No.. she.. well.."
Toni: "I hate you"
Geoff: "You are sooo getting a drudge budgeoning tonight!"
by John Lidgley May 23, 2008
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