Jake's definitions

gasoholic

one who enjoys the smell of other people's farts.

by Jake November 8, 2003

sex/baseball analog

the everlasting sexual bases metaphor. The best way to remember them is the four "F"s: French, Feel, Finger, Fuck.

first: the first step in a sexual relationship kissing with an open mouth or using tongue (french kissing)

first and a half base: under the shirt, bra still on

second: one step up from first base, heavy petting and feeling up while making out,direct oral or manual stimulation of a partner's breast/nipple, up the shirt or shirtless for both partners.

shortstop: in baseball, the shortstop is the field position between second and third base. So, in fooling around, shortstop is being masturbated by or masturbating your partner, as that's between feeling up and oral sex.

third base: the last base before penetration sex, entailing contact with the main sexual regions, a handjob or a blowjob (fellatio) for guys and fingering or giving head (cunnilingus) to the girl

home base: reaching home base or fourth base is consumating the relationship by having vaginal sex, making love or fucking

NOTE:first or second base can be achieved concurrently with dry humping, considered third base when oral or manual stimulation occurs to genitals.

"Margo finally let her boyfriend get to shortstop, but she used way too much lotion and he came on her shirt."

"We finally reached home base last night! Thankfully he had a condom on him because we were so horny we couldn't wait any longer"

by Jake March 5, 2004

D Lover

Someone who likes the dick.

You are such a D lover!

by Jake November 30, 2003

Escargot

the snail body that comes out of a snail shell. Looks like snot (a nose booger)

"Anyone care for escargot?"

"er, no thanks. I'll just pick my own..."

by Jake April 14, 2004

alcowall

A collection of empty beer and liquer bottles arranged on a wall or shelf, a testement as to how much was drank.

A common sight in college dorm rooms and apartments.

"Those two fifth of Smirnoff, one handle of Rubinoff, and sixty beer bottles make for quite the alcowall"

by Jake February 26, 2005

derez

from `de-resolve' via the movie "Tron" (also `derez') 1. /vi./ To disappear or dissolve; the image that goes with it is of an object breaking up into raster lines and static and then dissolving. Occasionally used of a person who seems to have suddenly `fuzzed out' mentally rather than physically. Usage: extremely silly, also rare. This verb was actually invented as fictional hacker jargon, and adopted in a spirit of irony by real hackers years after the fact. 2. /vt./ The Macintosh resource decompiler. On a Macintosh, many program structures (including the code itself) are managed in small segments of the program file known as `resources'; `Rez' and `DeRez' are a pair of utilities for compiling and decompiling resource files. Thus, decompiling a resource is `derezzing'. Usage: very common.

man my shit just got derezzed yo.

by Jake April 25, 2005

rig bag

someone who is constantly bitching about something; derived from the language Jag

"Quite being a damn rig bag all the time you little douche."

by Jake January 10, 2005