prom

To the students: an excuse for horny young teenagers to get together for a night of drinking, fornication and promiscuity, how romantic!

To business: a corporate-controlled/ promoted high school "institution" that makes the dress shops, hairdressers, flowershops, limo companies, suit rental places, etc more wealthy.

To the students who don't get to go: a lifelong regret, an occasion that fat chicks can not get a date for.Makes more people unhappy than any one other thing in highschool...
I borrowed Dad's car, then spent $400 on renting a suit, buying flowers, tickets to the prom, some liquor and a locket on a chain for her. Oh, and condoms. She bought a dress, got her hair and 20 nails done, bought shoes,tear-off underwear,a purse, and got a horrendous period an hour before midnight.
So she gave me a blowjob just like any other date, and she's still a virgin.
by Jake February 03, 2004
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schlitz

To breath and spit.
The retarded kid schlitzed all over me when he was speaking.
by Jake March 29, 2003
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shoobie

a word refering to tourists. Often used by surfers, shateboarders, and snowboarders. Especially when the tourists interefere with the sport. Often thought of in a negative light.
So much for catching any good waves, too many shoobies.

for more on shoobies check out flamingbarbie.tk
by Jake January 28, 2004
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troll

vertically-challenged person with accentuated body features
There was a troll down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The troll went to the doctor and told her about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and she would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia.
&g! t; "Aha!" mumbled the doc and, as she put her finger under the right testicle, she asked the midget to cough again.
"Aha!" said the doctor again, and reached for her surgical scissors.
Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The troll was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the troll to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.
The troll was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?" The troll replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied, "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."
by Jake February 18, 2004
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duckman

he is a villain-killin', arsehole-fillin' super-hero of great stature.
www.girlsongirls.org and go to the adventures of duckman forum. click the one that says duckman, and then read the first post. there is a wonderful image available.
by jake September 14, 2004
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captain jack

A mixed drink consisting of equal parts Captain Morgan rum and Jack Daniels whisky. Get it?
-I puked so much last night!

-Yeah, Captain Jack will do that to you.
by Jake February 09, 2005
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two dozen

(def. noun)the minimum number of times you should have sex with a partner before you decide it isn't good sex.See Ruthie
Ruthie and I got it on a few times, a few different ways, a few different positions, but she just really never caught the knack.I'm sorry now that I stopped giving her the booty call, I should have hung in there, she would have got better (and she had so much PROMISE).
by Jake January 14, 2004
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