JDMGio's definitions

assterpiece

The amalgamation of "masterpiece" and "ass" - essentially a masterful ass. This is applicable to any female that has a lot to bare with her derrière.

Jessica Biel has an ass that won't stop! What an assterpiece!

Even in her older state, J Lo still has a mighty fine assterpiece protecting her backside.

by JDMGio February 18, 2011

smokification

Noun
- the act, or result of smoking (particularly in reference to Marijuana).

After a long night of alcoholic-induced gallivanting and merriment, Jason ventured home to partake in some rather elevating smokification.

by JDMGio September 28, 2010

bear in mind

Due to the unfettering threat of bear attacks - stemmed by one Mr. Stephen Colbert - it is an idiom that suggests one should be mindful of there surroundings, especially when one ventures into known bear territory (Note: Terra Firma is considered bear territory).

This phrase can intrinsically refer to Melissophobia as well.

Suzy: "You wanna go on a hike up Blood Mountain?"

Trevor: "I'd love too! We should bear in mind the dangers of hiking that mountain though."

Suzy: "Bear in mind what dan-"

*Out of nowhere, a black bear (ninja bear) mauls Suzy to death. Trevor is speechless. . . but goes on the hike anyways. The End.*

by JDMGio January 19, 2011

hand-held darkness eliminator

An awesomely descriptive name for a flashlight (or torch if you hail outside the United States).

Peter: Hey Steve, would you be so kind as to let me borrow your flashlight?

Steve: Oh, you mean my hand-held darkness eliminator? You can on the condition that you swear to guard and protect it with your life, for its powers are unmeasurable and should not be toyed with by mere mortals!

Peter: So. . . does that mean it's like solar powered or something?

by JDMGio March 26, 2011

band-danna

A group of musically talentless "artists" that all wear bandannas regardless of whether they are practicing, sitting around tell everyone how great their music is and how they are way ahead of their time, or in the less likely of instances, actually playing a gig.

Dude, did you check out that group last night?

You mean the band-danna? Yeah, I guess they were pretty good, especially if you like Jersey Shore.

by JDMGio January 16, 2010

snoregasm

A snoregasm commences when one slowly begins to snore. Gradually the snoring increases in both loudness and inflection until said snorer reaches the climactic audibility at which point he or she abruptly stops snoring. At this point the snoregasm has been achieved. Post snoregasm, one may or may not disenthrall a sigh of relief.

Whilst watching the football game at Steve's house, Corpulent Carl maliciously consumed nearly all 24 PBRs he had brought with him. Not even reaching the final quarter of the game, Carl abruptly became inexorably comatose in Steve's recliner at which point he began to snore. The snoring became exponentially louder and louder with every breath that was taken until those violent flood gates opened and snoregasm was achieved. With a sigh of relief and satifaction, Carl rolled to his side releasing a fowl, sulfuric fart. Steve, being a sober witness to the events, was never the same. The image of Corpulent Carl's daunting smile post snoregasm forever haunts his dreams.

by JDMGio December 23, 2009

Brobarian

Much like a broseph, a brobarian is equal to that of a bro, dude, man, etc. with the defining characteristics of being a rather large individual, usually quite muscular and strong, and being the friend that typically starts/finishes fights.

Jason: Dude, I wouldn't mess with Patrick if I were you, he's a fucking brobarian of mine.

Andy: Yeah, and what if I do mess with him?

PATRICK: I WILL FUCKING CRUSH YOUR FACE AND BEAT YOU WITH MY 5 IRON.

by JDMGio February 10, 2010