16 definitions by JDMGio
An absurd amount of snow/ice accumulation during a snowstorm. Airport closures, high rates of traffic accidents and general mass chaos typically ensue.
This past January seemed quite blizzsurd, seeing how the entire Eastern seaboard was heavily blanketed in snow and ice. Luckily I wasn't one of those poor bastards stuck in an airport or in there car.
by JDMGio January 28, 2011
When a man ejaculates onto a female, creating an intricate web of semen that connects moles and/or freckles, which in turn resembles a grouping of celestial bodies (a constellation).
by JDMGio January 6, 2011
Due to the unfettering threat of bear attacks - stemmed by one Mr. Stephen Colbert - it is an idiom that suggests one should be mindful of there surroundings, especially when one ventures into known bear territory (Note: Terra Firma is considered bear territory).
This phrase can intrinsically refer to Melissophobia as well.
This phrase can intrinsically refer to Melissophobia as well.
Suzy: "You wanna go on a hike up Blood Mountain?"
Trevor: "I'd love too! We should bear in mind the dangers of hiking that mountain though."
Suzy: "Bear in mind what dan-"
*Out of nowhere, a black bear (ninja bear) mauls Suzy to death. Trevor is speechless. . . but goes on the hike anyways. The End.*
Trevor: "I'd love too! We should bear in mind the dangers of hiking that mountain though."
Suzy: "Bear in mind what dan-"
*Out of nowhere, a black bear (ninja bear) mauls Suzy to death. Trevor is speechless. . . but goes on the hike anyways. The End.*
by JDMGio January 18, 2011
The erratic and fan frenzied behavior that ensues when McDonalds graciously brings back the McRib to the masses. Like a gift from God, this delectable delight brings both joy and utter chaos by its presence alone; turning man against his brethren.
Whilst gallivanting around with Laney, Jason saw something that both troubled and overwhelmed him with an unreserved, and seemingly familiar infatuation. Like a shining beacon of truth, the billboard’s words touched him like no poet could ever hope to - “The McRib is back!” The golden arches of glory, once a mere glimmer on the horizon, awoke something inside him he knew to be incorruptible - McRibmania. As if mandated from the heavens, he traversed four lanes of traffic (nearly striking several elderly pedestrians and one small child), keeping steadfast to that ghostly jewel that captivated and enamored his very essence.
“What the HELL are you doing” screamed Laney, her high-pitched voiced piercing his ears like a verbal blade. Like a tidal wave of emotions, his mind was flooded with feelings of intense fury and remorse.
Jason knew he had faltered, that he made a mistake - a mistake that he needed to rectify forthwith. With one swift motion, as if rehearsed or committed to memory, Jason reached across the passenger seat, threw open the door and kicked the unwelcome transient to the curb. Left in tears and questions, Laney watched her former suitor squeal out of that familiar parking lot. With a sigh of relief and treasure in hand (and partially in mouth), he drove into that uncharted expanse - never questioning his judgment and never looking back.
“What the HELL are you doing” screamed Laney, her high-pitched voiced piercing his ears like a verbal blade. Like a tidal wave of emotions, his mind was flooded with feelings of intense fury and remorse.
Jason knew he had faltered, that he made a mistake - a mistake that he needed to rectify forthwith. With one swift motion, as if rehearsed or committed to memory, Jason reached across the passenger seat, threw open the door and kicked the unwelcome transient to the curb. Left in tears and questions, Laney watched her former suitor squeal out of that familiar parking lot. With a sigh of relief and treasure in hand (and partially in mouth), he drove into that uncharted expanse - never questioning his judgment and never looking back.
by JDMGio November 2, 2010
Being a cat is awesome! You get to sleep all day and do nothing, not to mention you get to shit in a enclosed box with a sand floor...it's like a shit fort!
by JDMGio August 2, 2011
The frivolous act of making ones' self seem more sophisticated, athletic, smarter or generally greater than those around them when in fact the individual is more than likely a giant floppy cock. The transition from being a well-rounded individual to a self-righteous fuck has not only plagued mankind, but perplexed us as well. With an insurmountable and seemingly endless bank of knowledge in all areas and facets of life, the "awesomer" will undoubtedly ear fuck the shit out of you with an array of whimsical allegories which he or she discovered while exploring the vast reaches of their own anus.
Awesomer -"I don't know if you are familiar with fasting, but it is really good for your body. That is why, unlike most people, I fast nearly once a month. It takes a lot of determination and will power, but as I mentioned previously I am not like most people."
Individual fed up with awesomer - "Dude, I couldn't be happier for you. On another note, I started awesomeing today. Yeah, its pretty great. I already gained 50 lbs. of muscles and my dick grew 3 inches. . . in both size and girth!"
Individual fed up with awesomer - "Dude, I couldn't be happier for you. On another note, I started awesomeing today. Yeah, its pretty great. I already gained 50 lbs. of muscles and my dick grew 3 inches. . . in both size and girth!"
by JDMGio April 23, 2010
The amalgamation of "masterpiece" and "ass" - essentially a masterful ass. This is applicable to any female that has a lot to bare with her derrière.
Jessica Biel has an ass that won't stop! What an assterpiece!
Even in her older state, J Lo still has a mighty fine assterpiece protecting her backside.
Even in her older state, J Lo still has a mighty fine assterpiece protecting her backside.
by JDMGio January 28, 2011