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J. Michael Reiter's definitions

Paintball

A dumb fucking "sport" played with "guns" that in reality are a gadget that shoots "paintballs", the eponyms of note.

This game takes on an eerie and all together too close for this author's comfort resemblance to small unit tactics that this author practised when this author was in his country's armed forces...

The players of this "game" are usually wealthy overgrown adolescents that have yet to grow up; Also, one finds the washouts and unsuitables that can't make it into their own country's armed forces...

The ones that think that this is a great game should try carrying a Rifle, a Full and HEAVY Rucksack, Tactical load bearing webbing, and a STEEL HELMET THAT WEIGHS MORE FOR EVERY SECOND YOU WEAR THE FUCKING THING!!!

The Rich and Powerful like Presidents, Prime Ministers, Kings, and Princes should do this themselves, and get their family members in on the fun. It won't go on for long...
Paintball! What a ridiculous excuse for reality!!!
by J. Michael Reiter November 7, 2004
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pot

Otherwise known as Marijauna. Or Shit, wacky tobacky, weed, bhang, or Mary Jaise, Mary J's, or MJ.
Dog, Yo, Yo, YO! Let's score some fine ass pot, ma bruzzle!!!
by J. Michael Reiter September 6, 2004
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Aquascutum

a top class British manufacturer that makes an every bit classy double breasted ten button trench with belt and cuff straps as Burberry. It is also found on the backs of the world's miscreants, but this unfortunate happenstance is cancelled out be the fact that enough of the world's beautiful to MOST beautiful women in possession of these coats... and they know precisely how to wear them;

with the buttons buttoned, the collar open and the belt fastened tightly by the buckle with the cuff straps fastened just snugly enough to ward off chills...
An Aquascutum trench coat should be in the closet of every beautiful to most beautiful woman, in sufficient quantity to be had one every day of the week, 52 weeks of the year...
by J. Michael Reiter October 25, 2004
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puppie

infinitely preferable to human children; They only need to be housebroken, fed and watered. They give all the love there is to give, and then some. Unfortunately, while they as grown up dogs are considered man's best friend, Man is not necessarily Dog's friend of any particular quality by any stretch of the imagination...
Puppies and Kittens are heartwarming balls of fur that grow into Dogs and Cats...
by J. Michael Reiter January 4, 2005
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Can Opener

Whoa, dude! That was some can opener! How about opening the window?
by J. Michael Reiter August 5, 2004
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up the spout

Found in the Military(Canada's, The US's and Elsewhere), This means to load your weapon, or denote that your weapon is already loaded...
E.g, The Glock-17 holds 16 rounds: 15 in the magasine and 1 up the spout.
by J. Michael Reiter January 13, 2008
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Man nap

Man Napping is the Civilian Equivalent of the Forced Rest, that is taking a nap when it is necessary or not so, to forcefully recharge your batteries. This is generally ordered by the NCOs or Officers in your Platoon, Flight or Division.
Can be a restful and recuperative thing...
I was man napping during my shift... Got caught but I didn't get RTUed, I just caught el supremo...
by J. Michael Reiter September 6, 2005
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