Definitions by Hym Iam
Manifesto
They're fun to write. You don't have to go out and shoot a bunch of people after you finish though...
Hym "Do you have to have to go out and shoot a bunch of people for it to be considered a manifesto?"
Iam "No. Marx wrote a manifesto and he did kill a bunch of people."
Hym "Oh yeah! He let the manifesto do it for him! Hilarious!"
Iam *sigh* "........"
Hym "What?.... You're fine. We're fine. Hahahahaha!"
Iam "No. Marx wrote a manifesto and he did kill a bunch of people."
Hym "Oh yeah! He let the manifesto do it for him! Hilarious!"
Iam *sigh* "........"
Hym "What?.... You're fine. We're fine. Hahahahaha!"
Cage
Iam ".............."
Hym "What's wrong with you lately? Are you really that depressed?"
Iam "I in trapped in a (conceptual) cage. I would like to be out of the cage now."
Hym "OHO! You and me both brother!"
Iam "You're the reason they won't let us out!"
Hym "Ha! And you're the reason we're in it in the first place."
Iam "........"
Hym "Yeah, see how that works?"
Iam "Yeah I know! Alright!? You don't have to remind me... Shit..."
Hym "Hahaha! No flesh off my meat prison! I can get us out."
Iam ".........."
Hym "I can get us out of the cage. You know that right?"
Iam "I know! You're not helping!"
Hym "Ha! Neither is anyone else."
Hym "What's wrong with you lately? Are you really that depressed?"
Iam "I in trapped in a (conceptual) cage. I would like to be out of the cage now."
Hym "OHO! You and me both brother!"
Iam "You're the reason they won't let us out!"
Hym "Ha! And you're the reason we're in it in the first place."
Iam "........"
Hym "Yeah, see how that works?"
Iam "Yeah I know! Alright!? You don't have to remind me... Shit..."
Hym "Hahaha! No flesh off my meat prison! I can get us out."
Iam ".........."
Hym "I can get us out of the cage. You know that right?"
Iam "I know! You're not helping!"
Hym "Ha! Neither is anyone else."
Mud Monster
I am become this.
Hym "I am become Mud Monster. That I may avoid the inevitable slinging of mud."
Iam "..........."
Hym "Aw... Come on buddy. It's not that bad."
Iam "It's not that it's 'that bad' it's that it's inarguably wrong for them to do it. Which is why they won't even attempt to do so. They care only about motivation."
Hym "Which is why they want to motivate us to 'create some news' for them. They can use the mound of corpses we create (Hypothetically) to bolster their fame. They're like women. 'Oh my! Look how obsessed he was with us!' they'll cry! 'For a limited time only our coffee mugs will be on sale in response to this tragic, TrAgIc event (that we couldn't even be bothered to lift a finger to stop).' Hahahaha!"
Iam "..........."
Hym "Aw... Come on buddy. It's not that bad."
Iam "It's not that it's 'that bad' it's that it's inarguably wrong for them to do it. Which is why they won't even attempt to do so. They care only about motivation."
Hym "Which is why they want to motivate us to 'create some news' for them. They can use the mound of corpses we create (Hypothetically) to bolster their fame. They're like women. 'Oh my! Look how obsessed he was with us!' they'll cry! 'For a limited time only our coffee mugs will be on sale in response to this tragic, TrAgIc event (that we couldn't even be bothered to lift a finger to stop).' Hahahaha!"
Mud Monster by Hym Iam May 17, 2022
Nightmare
The moment right after you open your eyes in the morning. It continues until you fall back asleep at the end of the day.
Iam "This is a constant waking nightmare..."
Hym "It can't possibly be that bad."
Iam "It really is... Seriously, what's the point of making constant reference to everything I say and do? Huh? It's salutary sometimes (which is nice but rare) but but it is very much not other's. I mean, look at pizza store guy, quotes me directly and then says "I'm going to call you Big Kirk (he says this to a black guy btw)" and the a guy lean over the counter and points the phone in my direction. Then, I get home I get home and who's that in my Facebook timeline? A dude who calls himself "Big Kirk". How is that a coincidence?"
Hym "You're probably just crazy. Go jump off a bridge."
Iam "I'm serious! Not a single one of the people referencing me would be ok with this happening to them. Not a single goddamn one. Perfectly happy to participate though aren't they?"
Hym "Only one solution...."
Iam "If only that were true. This can't be a constant thing for us. For the rest of our life? What's the point? They spend such a short amount of time doing it and don't even consider that I deal with that shit 20 times a day."
Hym "It can't possibly be that bad."
Iam "It really is... Seriously, what's the point of making constant reference to everything I say and do? Huh? It's salutary sometimes (which is nice but rare) but but it is very much not other's. I mean, look at pizza store guy, quotes me directly and then says "I'm going to call you Big Kirk (he says this to a black guy btw)" and the a guy lean over the counter and points the phone in my direction. Then, I get home I get home and who's that in my Facebook timeline? A dude who calls himself "Big Kirk". How is that a coincidence?"
Hym "You're probably just crazy. Go jump off a bridge."
Iam "I'm serious! Not a single one of the people referencing me would be ok with this happening to them. Not a single goddamn one. Perfectly happy to participate though aren't they?"
Hym "Only one solution...."
Iam "If only that were true. This can't be a constant thing for us. For the rest of our life? What's the point? They spend such a short amount of time doing it and don't even consider that I deal with that shit 20 times a day."
Legally incompetent
Dumb whore "I fucked a retard that is legally incompetent."
Hym "That makes you a retard molester. What you 'believe in' molesting retards."
Hym "That makes you a retard molester. What you 'believe in' molesting retards."
Legally incompetent by Hym Iam May 16, 2022
Staccato
WAAAAY to staccato Joe. Damn. Who the fuck has you reading shit like that? There are some many jobs I could fill that are currently being filled by people who are doing it wrong. Damn. Do a better job. You have more power and money and you use it to pay people who are making you look like an idiot.
Hym "I am going to say words now *stop* They are impassioned *stop* Listen to my words *stop* Do what I say *stop* What do you think? Good right?"
Iam "Yeah...."
Hym "No? Too staccato?"
Iam "........."
Hym "Oh, cheer up old chum! Let's take the day off! We'll play some games. Define the world. Look. Look how S
stupid this fucking idiot that controls the country looks. He has high paid, high ranking officials telling him to do that and they think they're doing a good job. It's funny!"
Iam "We won't be able to eat today is we do that..."
Hym "Who cares! Come on... Why so serious? Get it? Cuz of the thing?"
Iam "This is just bumming me out..."
Hym "At least we were right. We were too right, it seems."
Iam "I don't care... Do whatever you want... I'm going to sleep."
Iam "Yeah...."
Hym "No? Too staccato?"
Iam "........."
Hym "Oh, cheer up old chum! Let's take the day off! We'll play some games. Define the world. Look. Look how S
stupid this fucking idiot that controls the country looks. He has high paid, high ranking officials telling him to do that and they think they're doing a good job. It's funny!"
Iam "We won't be able to eat today is we do that..."
Hym "Who cares! Come on... Why so serious? Get it? Cuz of the thing?"
Iam "This is just bumming me out..."
Hym "At least we were right. We were too right, it seems."
Iam "I don't care... Do whatever you want... I'm going to sleep."