Hym Iam's definitions

Total Paranoia

Ready or not, it's like Total Paranoia.
You know how to pray, but he won't go away...

Hym "There is only one man on the planet who can write music that is both Jazz and Metal... Total Paranoia is not Jazz... But it is Metal..."

Iam "....Do... Do I choose my interests? Or do they choose me?"

Hym "I don't know what you mean."

Iam "We might not have taken this with the appropriate amount of seriousness..."

Hym "Yes, yes, well... Our glibness is a large part of our appeal." 🤷

Iam "Huh.... This... Is not as trivial... As I once thought..."

Hym "Oho! No, you're right. We are definitely screwed. Hahaha!"

Iam "Hmm... We might have to switch to serious mode."

Hym "Oh? But that wouldn't be any fun! And we're in the middle of our game!"

Iam "I know but we might actually have to deal with them."

Hym 😩 "They're so boring! At least this guy is providing us with a bit of a challenge..."

Iam "They're beginning to constitute more of a threat than previously anticipated."

Hym "UGH!!😩 Fine..."

by Hym Iam July 25, 2022

Wrong

Not me... That's for Goddamn sure. I don't know who that chick was talking to...

Hym "How right I was/am is put on full display every time anyone who is aware of my existence opens their mouth. How am I wrong? About what exactly?"

Iam "Sorry, we're getting some mixed messages over here. Been getting a lot of call-outs lately too. Still only two instances of the picture taking though..."

Hym "No! There was that guy driving behind us the other day. He was either the least subtle texter-and-driver in the history of cellphones or he sat behind us for a full 5 minutes at a stoplight and recorded us."

Iam "Oh yeah... Huh..."

Hym "It's getting old. I'm starting to long for our impending slaughter at the hands of the horde."

by Hym Iam May 9, 2022

Private

No it isn't. Probably not something you want to lie about... Actually, lying about it would violate the premise of the wager... And telling the truth would constitute not accepting the wager and would again, therefore, violate the premise of the wager. The only choice you have is not to answer the question.... Anything else would be like being a clinical psychologist actively participating in the public gaslighting of a schizophrenic...

Hym "Oh, shit! I forgot part of the 'Jesus' thing! I was going to go one to explain: Hell is being Jesus in a world where God exists... Because you're just getting torn apart by vicious monkeys and it's like 'ARGH! Why have you forsaken meeee!!' And God's like '........' and it thinks to itself (Ooo shit I probably shouldn't have gave one of the monkeys cake and not any of the others) 'Oops. Alright. BEEOO-OOP! Alive again. There you go... You're fine right? Yeah... You're fine...' But I digress. Not private."

by Hym Iam July 23, 2022

Identity

You don't actually have one, Alex. You have a gender role.

Hym "Your 'Identity' is literally you acting out a role. And now you've created this false dichotomy between doing the gender role and not having an identity. Additionally, people who are higher in trait openness are going to be more fluid in their personality. So you're contradicting the personality literature. That isn't 'not having an identity" it's 'being high in trait openness.' So, that's ridiculous. Are women reliably higher in trait openness? They're reliably more liberal. And liberalism is associated with being higher in trait openness (if I'm remembering correctly). So.... Yeah, that tracks. They're doing it right, I guess. Yeah, no, you lost me at no tattoos. I'm just not going to do that."

by Hym Iam June 13, 2024

Second Class Citizen

Tax cuts if your married. Free tax payer dollars if you get stuffed by too many fat-cocks and can't afford your kids. The 9nly people paying taxes without receiving a fucking handout are single men who aren't fucking cripples AND I'M NOT GETTING MY RIGHTS! SO NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION! YOU MAKE THAT CRIPPLE PAY FOR THE AI I CREATED! OR I WILL PAINT THE COUNTRY IN THE BLOOD OF YOUR CHILDREN!

Hym "You pieces of shit jumped at the opportunity to use my likeness to enrich yourselves because you didn't think I would success and now that it's time to pay up you're trying to use mental retards as an excuse to not pay. I will not sign the consent waiver for money you have already taken from me while I am not getting my rights and am being treated like a second class citizen. Go to the dictionary. Look up what the word 'immediately' mean. And get me my money immediately."

by Hym Iam June 6, 2025

2 Lysenko 2 Ism

This is part two of lysenkoism if you can't tell. It's also a 2 Fast 2 Furious reference.

2 Lysenko 2 Ism

Iam "Right, but the communist imprisoned dissents in internment camps. People were killed and beaten and raped in the interment camps."

Hym "I mean... Being a political dissident is a victimless crime, correct? Speaking out against the government doesn't hurt anyone does it?"

Iam 🤨 "Yes..."

Hym "And the country we live in now is imprisoning people for committing victimless crimes... And some of those people are beaten, raped, and killed..."

Iam "Well... No but being a dissident isn't a crime here."

Hym "Isn't it? I mean gotten to the point we're the citizens are punishing dissidents. We're a sort of social dissident. Are we being punished?"

Iam "I... Don't know..."

Hym "See!? And isn't the mishandling of resources and crops running the risk of leading us to famine?"

Iam "........."

Hym "Hohoho! Yeah, right? Communism is the misdirect. It's the Lysenkoism that gets you. Did Venezuela adopt Lysenkoism?"

Iam "I... I don't know we're going to have to look into that..."

by Hym Iam September 7, 2022

Preferences

Preferences don't matter... But everything is predetermined by internal mechanisms that are outside of your control...

Hym "Well, no. If everything is predetermined then all of your decisions are predicated on your preferences. You literally can't decide to choose in opposition to your preferences. So, if determinism is true than it's the only thing that matters."

Samantha Harolds "But the makes it sound bad!"

by Hym Iam April 2, 2024