Definitions by Hym Iam
Negligence
Not leaving a severely autistic man alone to have free reign while you fuck his roommate. That's not negligence.
Hym "Yeah, negligence is real bad. Reeeeeal bad. I care so much about everyone else. Their lives are so valuable to me."
Iam "They don't care about the details. They want one guy to win and the other to lose."
Hym "Oh, I know. Just screaming into the void."
Iam "They don't care about the details. They want one guy to win and the other to lose."
Hym "Oh, I know. Just screaming into the void."
Negligence by Hym Iam May 18, 2022
Chastised
Hym "And further more, I'm over here getting chastised for letting him play videogames past 10 pm! He's fucking his staff! He's fucking the direct service professionals hired to feed him pills and STAYING UP TOO LATE is where you draw the line. That place is a joke! The woman who work there are a joke. Everyone on the planet should know who they are and what they did."
Iam "Would you just let it go?"
Hym "I'll let's it go as soon as I get what mine. Or as soon as I'm tired of living. Whichever happens first."
Iam "Would you just let it go?"
Hym "I'll let's it go as soon as I get what mine. Or as soon as I'm tired of living. Whichever happens first."
Darting
Hym "Ha! I was just watching a video of him explaining inflation and I noticed the eyes darting side to side when he talks and I'm like 'He must have Asperger's. That must be an Asperger's thing!'. I guess I was right! Good job me! Good job other me. I'm like a brilliant diagnostician. Maybe I can get him to hire me to pass him his meds in the morning. He probably gets that good shit. Those Vyvanse. I have previous experience. Both with Vyvanse and passing meds. I also have the names of several cheap prostitutes. I'd be like the brothel madam! Except I don't look like The Defiler from Spawn!"
Iam "Will you stop?"
Hym "No. I won't. Shit, for enough money, I'll sit and watch him fuck his wife and then spend all day every day parroting the noises they make. Or I can find someone else. I know a cuckold. We'll Travis involved. He's probably better at it anyway. But remember, you're not allowed to hate my fucking guys for the shit I do and say behind your back and to your face. Cus, in retrospect, that would me YOU a hypocrite. Wouldn't it? If you hated me for the things I said and did in the same way I hate that fucking worthless cripple and that goddamn whore? That would make you just like me. Hahahahaha!"
Iam "Will you stop?"
Hym "No. I won't. Shit, for enough money, I'll sit and watch him fuck his wife and then spend all day every day parroting the noises they make. Or I can find someone else. I know a cuckold. We'll Travis involved. He's probably better at it anyway. But remember, you're not allowed to hate my fucking guys for the shit I do and say behind your back and to your face. Cus, in retrospect, that would me YOU a hypocrite. Wouldn't it? If you hated me for the things I said and did in the same way I hate that fucking worthless cripple and that goddamn whore? That would make you just like me. Hahahahaha!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHA AHA AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA! 🙊 PFFT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHA AHAHAHA AHA HOO! HO BOY! That is fucking hilarious my guy! You're not wrong though Pfft Hahahahahahahaaa!
Hym "HAHAHAHAHAHA AHA AHA AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
Iam "It's not that funny"
Hym "It's pretty fucking funny dude! I don't know. Maybe I need to take a second look at it..."
Iam "Where are you going?"
Hym "Hold on..."
Iam ".......... Well?"
Hym "I was checking Twitter again."
Iam "And?"
Hym "PFFTTT BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA! I wasn't even going to say anything about it! I wasn't even going to say anything about it but it's just too damn funny! He's not wrong though!"
Iam "Come on dude that's not nice"
Hym "My question is: what was the photographer doing? That's not a flattering angle. The pose isn't helping. It's literally the laziest photo I've ever seen in my life! And then this fucking guy has to go and say something about it! I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY!! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Iam "I'm sorry about Hym..."
Hym "Don't be! Aaaahahahahaha!!"
Iam "It's not that funny"
Hym "It's pretty fucking funny dude! I don't know. Maybe I need to take a second look at it..."
Iam "Where are you going?"
Hym "Hold on..."
Iam ".......... Well?"
Hym "I was checking Twitter again."
Iam "And?"
Hym "PFFTTT BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA! I wasn't even going to say anything about it! I wasn't even going to say anything about it but it's just too damn funny! He's not wrong though!"
Iam "Come on dude that's not nice"
Hym "My question is: what was the photographer doing? That's not a flattering angle. The pose isn't helping. It's literally the laziest photo I've ever seen in my life! And then this fucking guy has to go and say something about it! I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY!! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Iam "I'm sorry about Hym..."
Hym "Don't be! Aaaahahahahaha!!"
Commie
Holy shit are there a lot of them... That is fucking hilarious!
Hym "Boy oh boy, am I glad we won the Cold War! Otherwise there would be a bunch of commies infesting our institutions! Convincing an entire
generation of our population that communism is a good thing. That shit would have been wild! 30% of our population would identify as imaginary made up genders and blatantly ignore objective reality.All of the social media outlets would be ran and operated by these commies and they would almost exclusively control how we disseminate information.
Hym "Boy oh boy, am I glad we won the Cold War! Otherwise there would be a bunch of commies infesting our institutions! Convincing an entire
generation of our population that communism is a good thing. That shit would have been wild! 30% of our population would identify as imaginary made up genders and blatantly ignore objective reality.All of the social media outlets would be ran and operated by these commies and they would almost exclusively control how we disseminate information.
It wouldn't be hard for them to usurp our government from there. All they'd have to do is find a way to guarantee an election victory by exploiting the fact that only half the population actually votes to determine who is going to be the president. Which would be easy to do because the people who don't vote wouldn't know that someone else cast a ballot in their name (assuming that you found a way to convince people that voting in person was dangerous and made so that people casting votes no longer had to verify their identity). And then they could just institute a bunch of Kafkaesque/Orwellian bureaucracies to maintain control even when their party was no longer in power. That way voting them out wouldn't even work because they could just try again in 4 years (because they never have to stop trying). It would be kind of like this gangstalking thing I'm always on about. Except in Macrocosm. They could just be incessant about it and keep on doing it until they get the desired outcome. And there wouldn't be any evidence because they just don't ever have to admit they're doing it and can keep doing it until all of the people who believe that it's happening are dead. Man... I'm glad that's not happening... Unless they're going to make me their king. In which case, I'm going to need a giant Xerxes throne made of gold and would be very glad that it's happening. Commie King Xerxes... Yeaaaahh...."
Monk
YOU FOOL! Monks don't use rosary beads! They're called MALA beads! Don't you know!? Can't you tell!?
Iam "Monk? Ok, yeah... They're clearly using some kind of online medium..."
Hym "We had already established that."
Iam "Yeah, well, it's more obvious now..."
Hym "We could light the second floor of our apartment on fire 🔥😈🔥"
Iam "No! Well... No. We're not going to do that."
Hym "You know what? You're right... We're probably not high enough to prevent them from just jumping out of the windows..."
Iam "What? No! That's not the point!"
Hym "There is not point! Senseless violence! Hurray!!!"
Iam 🤦
Hym "We had already established that."
Iam "Yeah, well, it's more obvious now..."
Hym "We could light the second floor of our apartment on fire 🔥😈🔥"
Iam "No! Well... No. We're not going to do that."
Hym "You know what? You're right... We're probably not high enough to prevent them from just jumping out of the windows..."
Iam "What? No! That's not the point!"
Hym "There is not point! Senseless violence! Hurray!!!"
Iam 🤦