Hazletard-in-Chief's definitions
1) noun: A mentally impaired person from Hazleton, Pennsylvania; 2) verb: to render something or somebody useless; 3) verb: to act mentally impaired while in the city limits of Hazleton, PA
A hazletard (definition 1) stole my quad, barrelled up City Hall's steps and hazletarded (def. 2 past-tense) the fucking bitch. The cops found him hazletarding (def. 3 past participle) down the block, from meth. I got to leave this fucking town!
by Hazletard-in-Chief October 11, 2010
Get the hazletardmug. The nonexistent gang, all the the wiggers in Hazleton claim to be a member of. Sometimes shortened to "Nationwide."
hazletard: I'm in da Nationwide Thugs, yo. I'll cap your ass.
human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.
hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.
human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!
hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
human: Does the Aryan Brotherhood, now except wiggers? That's the prison gang that runs the white section in state prison. That's were crackers like you go, when you keep this act up into adulthood.
hazletard: Watch your mouth fool. Nationwide will fuck you up.
human: Thanks, for all the footage of your terroristic threats, for my new cellphone. Enjoy prison, biznitch!
hazletard: I'm sorry. Don't call the police. I just act like this, because I'm a loser.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Nationwide Thugsmug. An unofficial landmark for kids in the Hazleton area of Anthracite Coal Region, consisting of a formation of rocks resembling a couch. It is located east of Hazleton, and south of Eckley Miner's Village Historic Site & Museum.
The Stone Couch appears to be man-made, but the culture that manufactured it is unknown. It is purportedly haunted, but no proof by local paranormal investigators have turned up any evidence.
Local legend says that if you sit on it once, you get scratched. Twice you sit on it, something bad happens to somebody close to you. Thrice you sit on it, you die.
The Stone Couch appears to be man-made, but the culture that manufactured it is unknown. It is purportedly haunted, but no proof by local paranormal investigators have turned up any evidence.
Local legend says that if you sit on it once, you get scratched. Twice you sit on it, something bad happens to somebody close to you. Thrice you sit on it, you die.
The Stone Couch isn't scary at all, but just plain queer. The worst that can happen, is you waste a tank of gas looking for it.
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 22, 2010
Get the Stone Couchmug. The newest nickname for Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Based on the facts: a) Hazleton misspelled it's own name; b) all attempts to salvage this city always fail; c) Hazleton, PA = epic fail.
Another pimp killed another ho, instead of pimping that bitch for mad money. Welcome to Failzeton, biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 24, 2010
Get the Failzetonmug. The primary mode of transportation in Hazleton, PA, seen outside of every home: A stolen shopping cart!
hazletard 1: Got any WD-40, my ride needs a tune up.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
hazletard 2: Ditch that bitch. I got this fly Hazletonmobile, from GIANT Food. No I can go Hazleton drifting, this afternoon.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Hazletonmobilemug. nigga 1: We need to dump this ho's body somewhere, she's getting ripe.
nigga 2: I know a place where I dumped an old couch, refrigerator and dead ho last week. I found it, while geocaching.
nigga 1: Geocaching?! We need to blacken you up. It' bad enough your a registered Republican, but fucking geocaching. Nigga Please!
nigga 2: Fuck you. Here we are... Highland Road biatch!
nigga 2: I know a place where I dumped an old couch, refrigerator and dead ho last week. I found it, while geocaching.
nigga 1: Geocaching?! We need to blacken you up. It' bad enough your a registered Republican, but fucking geocaching. Nigga Please!
nigga 2: Fuck you. Here we are... Highland Road biatch!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 11, 2010
Get the Highland Roadmug. The nickname for "The Berwick, Pennsylvania Jaycees' Christmas Boulevard" annual display. The display claims to be "over a mile of lights", meaning it utilizes upwards of a mile of strung lights, not that the display is actually a mile long. The display is located on the Market Street median directly in front of Berwick City Hall/The Jackson Mansion. It is actually quite popular in Northeastern Pennsylvania.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 5, 2010
Get the Berwick Lightsmug.