27 definitions by Hazletard-in-Chief

A necrophilia and coprophilia based sex act, in which a hazletard removes a corpse's head, defecates in the esophagus, and has sex with the esophagus.
hazletard: Nothing like visting the morgue at Hazleton General Hospital, and pulling off a Hazleton Hot Pocket!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 9, 2010
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A style of mutual masturbation, in which a woman hangs upside-down, while her male partner stands rightside up.
man: This hazleton, is the bomb. We got to do it more often.

woman: Shut the fuck up, and work my clit!
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
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A form of mutal masturbation, in which a yeast infected woman hangs by her feet, while a man mastubates her. He catches soft yeast falling from her vagina on his penis, and she uses it as lubricant, to masturbate his penis.
pervert: I love your fishy stank all over my cock.

bitch: Hope you enjoy it, I didn't clean my snatch for several weeks.

pervert: The hazleton with cheese is the bomb.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
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Any person(s) that urinate(s), defecate(s) and/or fornicate(s) on the Stone Couch near Hazleton, PA 18201. Most usually brag about it, without shame.
PA State Trooper 1: Let's stake out the Stone Couch for some Stone Couchers. It's time they go to jail for their immoral behavior.

PA State Trooper 2: The heck with that. Let us shit, piss and fuck on the couch.

PA State Trooper 1: Ooh you're a notty Trooper, ready to stab my pooper.

(Freaky gay law enforcement loving ensues. A box of Dunkin Donuts is involved, as well.)
by Hazletard-in-Chief November 12, 2011
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A form of mutual masturbation, in which heavily menstruating woman hangs upside-down while her male partner masturbates her. He catches any falling menstrual blood with his penis, which his partner uses as lubricant to masturbate him.
"Nothing makes my nuts bust, quite like a bloody hazleton."

--Jack Palance
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
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1. The signature sketch of prop comic Gallagher, in which he smashes miscellaneous items with a large mallet not an actual sledgehammer. Apparently, a sledgehammer is too heterosexual. 2. A potent strain of methamphetamine, named after the above prop comic. Originating from around Hazleton, Pennsylvania. Taken orally, intravenously, anally, vaginally, nasally and smoked. The original lab was raided at the dawn of 2010, but is back in operation.
1. douche bag: I brought the clear plastic tarp for Gallagher's show. Hope he brings the Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic. Hee hee hee.

2. hazletard: I need a quarter hit of some Gallagher Sledge-O-Matic, bad. So I can suck truck driver cock for enough cash for a full hit, no homo.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
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A form of exhibitionism, in which a white female tween pushes her naked rear up to a chain link fence, while two Dominican males separately penetrate the women's anus and vagina, through the fence. Very common in Hazleton, Pennsylvania.
Perez: Check out that bitch with the iCarly backpack, signaling us into a Hazletonian Glory Hole.

Carlos: You get the asshole this time, I am sick of scraping shit out of my foreskin.
by Hazletard-in-Chief December 10, 2010
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