Harry Flashman's definitions

Proctologist

That specialty in the medical profession that seems to attract doctors with large, outsized hairy knuckles and are loathe to trim their fingernails.

Dr. Hamfist, my proctologist, apologized for his recent weight gain and said he would be unable to remove his ring, but, that he would proceed gently.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

kkkill

A command to an attack dog to kill by a stutterer.

"Kkkill, Sp-Sp-Spot," said Jethro.

by harry flashman August 3, 2003

Hortense Vagino

An utterly repulsive proto-typical woman you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Don't get divorced over the age of 70; most of the women in the dating pool are like Hortense Vagino.

by harry flashman July 24, 2003

vienna sausages

A potted meat considered fine dining in Alabama when consumed in quantity with the resulting breath odor being much prized in attracting potential marriage partners; sometimes served at family gatherings with tragic results.

Jarleen, don't give DeWaine no vienna sausages for dinner until he finishes his homework conjugating them Latin verbs.

by harry flashman July 16, 2003

frosts my balls

An expression used to indicate annoyance at something or someone.

Every time I hear a politician pontificate about the Earned Income Credit or tax rebates for people who didn't pay taxes it frosts my balls.

by harry flashman July 23, 2003

bagoong

Asian delicacy, fermented, salted brine shrimp (need not be kept refrigerated) that smells like your grandfather's spent 2 hours on the toilet overcoming constipation.

Holy batshit, Perlita, open the windows when you cook with bagoong.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003

kidney stone

God's punishment for the evil you've done in this life, a preview of what an eternity in Hell is going to be like unless you straighten up your act.

Whats a kidney stone feel like?...imagine someone lubricating some barbed wire with rock salt, shoving it up your penis...then pull starting the barbed wire like your pelvic area was a stubborn lawnmower.

by harry flashman July 12, 2003