horse

a device for turning money into shit and injuries.
Every Saturday afternoon, the hospital has at least 5 or 6 horse injury cases.

Oats + bran + hay + horse = very expensive shit.
by George McBob May 17, 2009
mugGet the horsemug.

Joburg

Johannesburg. Coolest city in the world.

It is the most dangerous city outside of a war zone. It has the friendliest people in the world. It can both take away and restore your faith in humanity on the same day.
The Northern Suburbs are so green that they're one of the largest artificial forests in the world (just drive north on the M1 past the St.Andrews street bridge, and all you see is trees to the horizon, with a few buildings sticking out at Sandton, Rosebank and Randburg).
In Joburg the traffic cops take cheques and the minibus taxis and nightclub bouncers are run by the mafia.
Beggars at the traffic lights earn more than doctors and roadside hawkers actually go onto the highway in rush hour. The streets change names 3 times a year and the baggage handlers at the airport are more likely to open your bag and replace your digital camera with a kilo of cocaine than not.
Every second street is closed for roadworks and the Gautrain (due to be completed in 2011, but will probably only be ready in 2014) will be Africa's first subway.
A major landmark is a huge soccer-ball shaped balloon tethered to the ground, with a restaurant on it, right next to a shopping centre that looks like a medieval Italian town.
Even your guard dogs, security guards and the police are not safe from the criminals, and Kyalami is the biggest equestrian suburb in the world.
Edenvale is Chinese, Bruma is Lebanese, Cyrildene is Jewish, Kempton Park is Russian, Hillbrow is Nigerian.
There are more goldmines than in any other city on Earth, and the central train station is the world's largest inland container terminal.
Melville, Rivonia, Fourways and Parkhurst are THE places go at night, but only if you don't mind waking up naked in a dumpster with a silly hat and a new tattoo.
All the cellphone towers are disguised as trees, but the tallest building in the city is a radio tower with a billboard and office on it.
It a first-world city in a third-world continent, and despite everything the corrupt, bigoted thieving lying brain-dead government can do to turn South Africa into a banana republic African shithole, Joburg just keeps growing and growing.
We live in Joburg, the only place to be!
by George McBob May 18, 2009
mugGet the Joburgmug.

Telkom

After the ANC, Telkom is South Africa's largest crime syndicate.

Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.

They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.

Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
It's a proven fact that if you fly 1st class to Hong Kong, stay in a 5 star hotel, buy a laptop, download 100GB onto it and fly back, it will be both QUICKER and CHEAPER than if you stayed in SA and downloaded it on a Telkom line.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
mugGet the Telkommug.

flat dog

Look at all the flat dogs on the riverbank.

The Zambezi is infested with flatties.
by George McBob May 11, 2009
mugGet the flat dogmug.

goef

v. to smoke weed.

S. Afr. slang, pronounced "goof"


To be goefed is to be stoned out of your bracket.
Mike went outside to have a goef.

I'm going get lekker goefed tonignt, bru.
by George McBob April 28, 2009
mugGet the goefmug.

jatwash

Here's to Mozambique, our favourite jatwash!
by George McBob May 04, 2009
mugGet the jatwashmug.

reg soup

In scuba diving, having reg soup means vomiting into your regulator.

This usually occurs as a result of seasickness, a heavy night out at the dive camp, or a combination of both.

When you make reg soup, your choices are to purge your reg and breath through your own puke for the rest of your dive and hope nobody notices, or switch to your spare reg and look like an idiot in front of your whole dive group.
Dave: Those were some big swells out there. Getting back into the boat was tough.
Steve: I know. Mike had reg soup during the deco stop.
Dave: Ha ha! What a chop!
by George McBob April 29, 2009
mugGet the reg soupmug.