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Geoff Lilley's definitions

jersey justice

A term coined by former Baltimore Ravens defensive tackle Tony Siragusa to describe beating the living shit out of someone in retribution for any offense, real or perceived. Generally, the retribution is greater than the crime.
SIRAGUSA: Yeah, I had a guy in Philadelphia throw a snowball. He was a little shocked when I climbed into the stands. And gave a little Jersey justice, you know what I mean.
by Geoff Lilley January 10, 2011
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simbiguous

The one-word summary of the Facebook relationship status, "it's complicated." A person who is in an ambiguous state of single; not quite in a relationship, not quite single, and generally looking for better offers.
Chris: "Is your friend available?"
Jim: "Kinda, man, she's simbiguous. Hit her up, see what she says."
by Geoff Lilley March 30, 2011
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snacrilege

To besmirch the good name or good taste of a snack food; to take a sacred snack food and turn it into something it was never intended to be.
Tim: I've got nacho flavored popcorn at my desk, dudes. Check it out.
Kalu: No way, dude. That's just straight up snacrilege.

Tracey: Peanut M&M's are one thing, but Pretzel M&M's are just snacrilege!
by Geoff Lilley December 3, 2010
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salt vampire

The opposite of a sweet tooth. The salt vampire is one who craves salt the way people with a sweet tooth crave chocolate and jellybeans - instead, they gorge on potato chips, mixed nuts, and ChexMix. Taken from the site www.junkfoodbetty.com.
The first impression I got from these chips was holy balls these chips are salty. That’s a bold statement coming from a salt vampire like myself. I would go so far as to call them excessively salty.
by Geoff Lilley May 18, 2011
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spousesided

To be accosted by the significant other of someone, because you told that someone some information that the spouse finds objectionable.
I told her I couldn't fix her car this weekend, and next thing I know, I get spousesided by her boyfriend, tellin' me, "Whaddayou mean, you can't fix it? What's wrong with you?"
by Geoff Lilley April 17, 2006
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negrowth

That dude's Afro is beyond Afro, it's some serious Negrowth.
by Geoff Lilley May 6, 2006
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rubber chicken dance

When you go to a corporate function (like your holiday party) and you get served the obligatory rubber chicken.
"Dude, you going to the office bash tonight?"
"Hell no, man, I don't need another rubber chicken dance!"
by Geoff Lilley December 8, 2006
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