Definitions by Fearman
sloe gin
Alcoholic beverage made by flavouring gin with the juices of sloes, the fruit of the blackthorn bush. The berries are picked traditionally in October to November, although global warming is edging this back into September. The best stuff is a deep shadowy red and tastes like a mixture of woodsmoke, sugar, fire, and something more sublime again. If you want the genuine article, make it yourself.
Christihomoality
The opposite of Christideuteronoleviticality, which is the corruption of the message of the pale (Jewish) Galilean by the 1500-year-older blatherings of a group of psychotic priests who should have done posterity a great big favour and gone out and gotten shagged a whole lot more often.
Christihomoality by Fearman January 5, 2008
quantum dating
In romantic terms, that practice which constitutes the smallest possible amount of dating, which can still be considered dating.
I meet Caroline on the way in to work at the same time every day, and for the smallest fraction of a second longer than would occur strictly by chance our eyes lock together, and nothing else worth noting happens but we're cool about it. I guess you could say we're quantum dating.
quantum dating by Fearman January 4, 2008
cryosculophobia
Morbid fear of one's lips making contact and freezing fast to the ice if one slips and falls flat on one's face while ice skating.
cryosculophobia by Fearman January 4, 2008
PETA
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (if you ask them), or maybe Pusillanimous Egregious Terrorist Assholes. In cahoots with (or is an alternative front for) the Animal Liberation Front, or ALF. (Assholes Live Forever?)
An extremist organisation on at least the same plane as the various stripes of frankenfearmongers. They are against the use of animals in medical experimentation ... until they get seriously sick themselves, when the use of medicines tested on animals is suddenly AOK. (To take just one example, the organisation's vice-president Mary Beth Sweetland is diabetic and has no problem taking insulin, thereby knowingly using a technology already tested on dogs and rodents. Check it out.) In the name of the rights of animals being raised on fur farms for their pelts they will often set said creatures "free" ... without a moment's thought for either the safety of the "liberated" creatures after a lifetime being tended in a cage, or their impact on the local environment. They have no objection to firebombing anyone they don't believe loves animals as much as they do, or indeed booby-trapping the cars said people drive. They howl at dog pounds and other such for euthanasing animals, while their own organisation is much given to doing the same to the beasties it takes into "care". They terrorise anyone they like without bothering to so much as debate with them or wish them the time of day ... but just wait for one of these "animal-loving" parasites to end up under a cop's baton and listen to them howl about their civil rights. Obviously someone forgot to tell them when they were growing up that deeply unhip old maxim that rights come with responsibilities.
PETA supporters think it's cool that lions chase down wildebeest on the grasslands of Africa, although obviously that's gonna change when they all become citizens with full rights ... a farmer shooting rabbits that are coming for his lettuce, on the other hand, is the spawn of Satan. They enjoy comparing farms to Nazi death camps. I'm sure that goes down a treat with all those Jews, gays and other such folk out there. PETA consists of a rabble of mentally unstable adolescents along with an upper crust of ageing hippies and a few celebrities, at least some of whom should, one would think, be older and wiser. One of their members, model Joanna Krupa, has claimed she'd rather go naked than wear fur ... that makes two of us, darling. You first.
Best thing to do with them is to drop them into a pit full of hungry lions and see how many articles of their manifesto they manage to recite before they have an educational experience.
An extremist organisation on at least the same plane as the various stripes of frankenfearmongers. They are against the use of animals in medical experimentation ... until they get seriously sick themselves, when the use of medicines tested on animals is suddenly AOK. (To take just one example, the organisation's vice-president Mary Beth Sweetland is diabetic and has no problem taking insulin, thereby knowingly using a technology already tested on dogs and rodents. Check it out.) In the name of the rights of animals being raised on fur farms for their pelts they will often set said creatures "free" ... without a moment's thought for either the safety of the "liberated" creatures after a lifetime being tended in a cage, or their impact on the local environment. They have no objection to firebombing anyone they don't believe loves animals as much as they do, or indeed booby-trapping the cars said people drive. They howl at dog pounds and other such for euthanasing animals, while their own organisation is much given to doing the same to the beasties it takes into "care". They terrorise anyone they like without bothering to so much as debate with them or wish them the time of day ... but just wait for one of these "animal-loving" parasites to end up under a cop's baton and listen to them howl about their civil rights. Obviously someone forgot to tell them when they were growing up that deeply unhip old maxim that rights come with responsibilities.
PETA supporters think it's cool that lions chase down wildebeest on the grasslands of Africa, although obviously that's gonna change when they all become citizens with full rights ... a farmer shooting rabbits that are coming for his lettuce, on the other hand, is the spawn of Satan. They enjoy comparing farms to Nazi death camps. I'm sure that goes down a treat with all those Jews, gays and other such folk out there. PETA consists of a rabble of mentally unstable adolescents along with an upper crust of ageing hippies and a few celebrities, at least some of whom should, one would think, be older and wiser. One of their members, model Joanna Krupa, has claimed she'd rather go naked than wear fur ... that makes two of us, darling. You first.
Best thing to do with them is to drop them into a pit full of hungry lions and see how many articles of their manifesto they manage to recite before they have an educational experience.
oxymoron
A contradiction in terms. Contrary to what some people will tell you, from Limerick to Florida, it does NOT mean a stupid ox. Derived instead from the Greek words oxy (sharp) and moros (dull).
Examples of oxymorons:
sunny night
military intelligence
compassionate conservative
ethical landlord
honest politician
open-minded altie
Christian Democrat
to appear invisible
deafening silence
friendly fire
charm offensive
civil war
sunny night
military intelligence
compassionate conservative
ethical landlord
honest politician
open-minded altie
Christian Democrat
to appear invisible
deafening silence
friendly fire
charm offensive
civil war