religion

An irrational institution whose relationship with the finer aspects of human nature is essentially that of a parasite on a host.

Religion might not necessarily be the root of all evil but it certainly oils the wheels.

by Fearman April 01, 2008

dear John letter

1. A letter sent by a girlfriend (usually) explaining to her guy that she has no wish to see him any more, or that the relationship is not working out. Equivalent when the target is female is the dear Jeannie letter.

2. Letter from a would-be employer regretfully informing a job applicant that for one reason or another, which may or may not be given, they didn't make it.

Marie, not being the most confident girl on the block, gave Desmond her dear John letter after he ogled too many women on the beach.

I just got the dear John letter from ToyMaster last week.

by Fearman January 07, 2008

Sun

1. The star at the centre of the Solar System, orbited by all the other bodies in the immediate neighbourhood. The thing that people go to the Canary Islands or Hawaii to enjoy a little better. A Type G2 yellow dwarf on the main sequence of the Hertzsprung-Russell diagram, approximately halfway through a lifetime of roughly ten billion years. The planet Earth orbits it at a distance of 93 million miles once a year. The Sun's mass is two times ten to the twenty-seventh tonnes, or a third of a million times the mass of Earth, diameter to the visible disc (photosphere) 853,000 miles. Contains 99.86 percent of the system's total mass. Shines by thermonuclear reactions at the core, where the proton-proton reaction fuses between 700 and 800 million tonnes of hydrogen nuclei into helium nuclei every second, with four or five million tonnes of this mass released as light and other forms of radiation by Einstein's equation E equals mc squared; the photons take about a million years to blunder outwards before reaching the photosphere and flying out into space, where eight minutes later some of them power the weather systems of the Earth and photosynthetic reactions in plants that are directly or indirectly essential to most life on the planet; the ultra-violet radiation that comes with the package may give careless people sunburn. Energy output of the sun at this point in its evolution is 400 million exawatts. Interior structure consists of the core where nuclear fusion takes place, a radiative layer overlying this and a convective layer of progressively smaller convection cells towards the visible surface, physically a little like the patterns in a pot of water boiling on a stove. The sun's visible face is marked by comparatively bright faculae and dark sunspots, associated with localised magnetic fields; large prominences erupt from the disk that in themselves utterly dwarf the planet Earth. Ion storms coming from the sun interfere with Earth-based electronics and may pose a threat to manned space flight. Strengthening gusts in the solar wind interact with Earth's magnetosphere and generate aurorae around the magnetic poles. Solar core temperature is about fifteen million degrees Centigrade, temperature at the photosphere about 6,000 degrees, and temperatures of one to two million degrees are found in the wispy outermost layers of the atmosphere called the corona, from a Latin word meaning "crown". In absolute terms one of the brighter stars in the neighbourhood, although utterly outdone by the galaxy's relatively rare and short-lived supergiants. Orbits the centre of the Milky Way galaxy at a speed of roughly 140 miles per second at a distance of about 30,000 light years, carrying the planets with it, completing one circuit every 225 million years; one of our galactic years ago, the dinosaurs had yet to evolve.

2. A British tabloid paper noted for having a gorgeous babe on page 3.

3. Traditionally the nineteenth card in the Trumps Major of the Tarot deck. In the Rider-Waite version it shows a child riding a white horse with a red cape billowing behind them; further back a row of sunflowers peek over a wall and a rayed Sun-face looks down on everything ... but why are the sunflowers not facing the Sun?

The sun rose at six o'clock the next morning.

John was reading the Sun on the kitchen table.

The next spread she made featured the Sun, the Hanged Man, the Hermit and the Devil.

by Fearman May 17, 2008

Shermer's First Law of Intelligence

From a Penn & Teller show, a quote from Michael Shermer: "Smart people are very good at rationalising things they came to believe for unsmart reasons."

You might think Creationism boasts a few fine minds, but just remember Shermer's First Law of Intelligence.

by Fearman December 28, 2007

gay mafia

Also known as the Fairy Godfathers. Mess with them once, and you are liable to wake up looking into the eyes of a decapitated poodle on the next pillow. Also liable to make you an offer you can't live down at the next Bible meeting.

Gay mafia ... I wish.

by Fearman December 03, 2007

Who's in da house?

Ironic question asked, often jabbing a thumb over the shoulder, when someone who considers him or herself a Grand Pooh Bah has just entered the room. From Irish comic Brendan O'Connor's kitschy pop hymn with the refrain, "Who's in da house? Jesus in da house!"

Who's in da house? Dodi in da house!

by Fearman March 06, 2008

bartymoe

Trick frequently played by Bart Simpson in The Simpsons in which he calls up Moe's Tavern and asks Moe for someone whose name is a double entendre. Bart sneaks it past him by giving Moe the person's alleged surname first. (Funniest example is when he gets Moe to ask for a Hugh Jass ... and someone else takes the phone ...,)

Bart (on phone to Moe's): Hello, I'm looking for someone called Hugginkiss, first name Amanda?
Moe (into tavern): Hey, do we have Amanda Hugginkiss? I'm looking for Amanda Hugginkiss!
(Bart and the customers roll on the floor laughing, while Moe fumes.)

I played a bartymoe on the girl in Larry's Bar, the other day. She was so stupid it actually worked.

by Fearman August 05, 2007