Definitions by Eric Melech
baldneck
The polar opposite of neckbeard (AKA hardcore nerd), in that a baldneck is completely devoid of technical knowledge beyond their car or TV remote.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.
Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.
Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
n00b: I'm pushing the button on my computer and it won't restart! It just shuts off the screen!
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!
n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)
n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!
g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
baldneck by Eric Melech January 28, 2010
10th base
When you get to home base twice in one evening, then have a threesome with said two previous people.
Danny seduced two separate chicks, man! Then got to play with them together! Holy crap, he's the first in our college to get to 10th base! We must worship him.
10th base by Eric Melech July 20, 2008
nerdrage
The overwhelming anger of a nerd when something or someone gets the "facts" wrong on a geeky subject such as Star Trek, Dungeons & Dragons, Lunix, etc.
Nerd: "So what do you think about Star Trek?"
Human: "Isn't that the space show with Captain Jean Luc Skywalker?"
Nerd seethes and painstakingly explains in erudite detail on the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Human sits there, pretends to think for a long moment, then says: But he's still a Jedi, right?
Nerd's head explodes from the massive influx of nerdrage.
-or-
Nerd: "Lunix truly is the superior operating system!"
Human: "Microsoft Windows is better."
Nerd: "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!??!!?!??!?!!!!?!?!"
Human: "Well, more programs run for it. And free stuff just sucks, man."
Nerd's eyes become bloodshot, face beet-red, and steam shoots from his ears.
Human: "Bill Gates is my hero."
Nerd: "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *heart attack*
Human: "Isn't that the space show with Captain Jean Luc Skywalker?"
Nerd seethes and painstakingly explains in erudite detail on the differences between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Human sits there, pretends to think for a long moment, then says: But he's still a Jedi, right?
Nerd's head explodes from the massive influx of nerdrage.
-or-
Nerd: "Lunix truly is the superior operating system!"
Human: "Microsoft Windows is better."
Nerd: "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!??!!?!??!?!!!!?!?!"
Human: "Well, more programs run for it. And free stuff just sucks, man."
Nerd's eyes become bloodshot, face beet-red, and steam shoots from his ears.
Human: "Bill Gates is my hero."
Nerd: "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *heart attack*
nerdrage by Eric Melech December 28, 2007
lollergag
A lollergag is when someone goes "lol" and someone else who has passed 2nd grade english chokes the "loller" to death.
lollerchic691991: dude LOL
lollerchic691991: tats hat LOL
lollerchic691991: secks kekekekek LOL
bloodninja grabs lollerchic by the throat and lollergags her to death.
lollerchic691991: tats hat LOL
lollerchic691991: secks kekekekek LOL
bloodninja grabs lollerchic by the throat and lollergags her to death.
lollergag by Eric Melech October 27, 2006
vivisection
The act or practice of cutting into or otherwise injuring living animals, especially for the purpose of scientific research... hey, the above guy didn't give a good def so I cut 'n' pasted from Dictionary.com...
There's a chicken on the table.. tied down by leather straps. The smiling scientist comes over with a large knife while the chicken tries to get away. Then, the smiling scientist jabs the knife into the chicken's side, trailing down its organs, allowing the lungs and liver to fall unto the table. The chicken, miraculously, is still alive but in a world of hurt. The smiling scientist then grabs a small hammer and smashes the fowl-play's beak. This sends the poor poultry into shock, then dies in pain as the smiling scientist gently snaps its ribs out of its bloody chest.. one by one...
vivisection by Eric Melech June 10, 2005