21 definitions by Eric Melech

Someone who constantly ignores (iggy's) people in chatrooms and IRC, usually followed by informing the person of their being iggy'd. Yahoo chatters with programs like YElite and YTunnel are the worst offenders as those programs automatically spit out some digital garbage like "user, you just got ass canned in t3h hiz0uze biznatch yo yo yo! 1337 yidiots got theysawves CANNED yo yo yo!"
See the fucking goddamned definition!! Stupid urbandictionary and it's "Example must have at least 20 letters and 3 words"...
by Eric Melech April 17, 2005
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The day with the event that finally gave the US government the perfect excuse to scare the rights out of most citizens. God DAMN America.
i~i - T-H-E - P-A-T-R-I-O-T - A-C-T - i~i
by Eric Melech April 19, 2005
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When you get to home base twice in one evening, then have a threesome with said two previous people.
Danny seduced two separate chicks, man! Then got to play with them together! Holy crap, he's the first in our college to get to 10th base! We must worship him.
by Eric Melech December 14, 2005
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The polar opposite of neckbeard (AKA hardcore nerd), in that a baldneck is completely devoid of technical knowledge beyond their car or TV remote.

They treat technology as if it were a personal affront, a multi-tentacled horror with a sentient intent in making their lives miserable. You see them yelling at self-checkouts and coinstars, and being unable to apply for jobs that require you to go to the employer's website. They think of fruit when they hear the word blackberry. They are amazed when they see a laptop display a webpage without being plugged into a wall. They really believe the banner ad saying they're the 100,000,000th visitor to that website. They can't sign onto facebook because they don't know the difference between a URL and an email address and keep trying to sign in with www.bballchick69@yahoo.com. In general, when it comes to computers, cellphones, etc. they are epic-level clueless mongoloids who, thanks to Darwinian evolution, will soon see their end.

Alternatively, baldnecks could just be those who only know enough to use myspace, twitter, digg, or other web 2.0 garbage, couldn't tell the difference between an iphone and a wiimote, and can't imagine any form of gaming that doesn't involve moving pixels behind a glowing rectangle. (see tabletop gaming). They will never know true love.

Either way, baldnecks are an endangered but irritatingly persistent species.
n00b: I'm pushing the button on my computer and it won't restart! It just shuts off the screen!

n00b: Why isn't it working! It told me to put the mouse there and it's not doing anything!

n00b: Did you see those Warhammer Online shots? More like World of Warhammer. Online. Craft. (see Penny Arcade)

n00b: My computer performed an illegal operation!? OH NO!!!

g33k: ....freakin' baldnecks. *facepalms*
by Eric Melech January 28, 2010
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A mysterious device or artifact named in one of the earliest screenshots of Doom. See Heart of Lothar and Sandwich.
See screenshot:
by Eric Melech April 17, 2005
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A mysterious device or artifact named in one of the earliest screenshots of Doom. See Captain's Hand and Sandwich.
by Eric Melech April 17, 2005
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A person, who usually is an angsty, depressed goth/punk, who think s/he's cool because s/he wear shirts that say "You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same" and other assorted wear from Hot Topic or Torrid even though that makes them a hypocrite as those shops are just as brand-name as Abercrombie, GAP, or Old Navy. The people behind Hot Topic and Torrid are exactly like the people behind GAP and Old Navy: they laugh all the way to the bank as you unthinking, impressionable teens buy their over-priced clothing, and you become a walking billboard for Corporate America when you don their shoddy clothes, just like the "prep" clique you hate so much.
I think I'm sooo unique because I'm wearing a shirt from a company that tells me who I am. I am a sell-out.
by Eric Melech September 14, 2004
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