Elliott's definitions

keyboard pal

One with whom friendship is made and maintained mainly through a computer-based form of communication.

Lauren maintained her e-friendship with her keyboard pal Björn well until her 19th year, at which point her travels through Scandinavia brought her to his hometown, where a best-left-forgotten erotic encounter with one of his family's boars left Björn without a home, and Lauren without a keyboard pal.

by Elliott September 4, 2005

pink sheep

One who has disgraced his or her family by betraying their working-class roots by maintaining a yuppie and often metropolitan or metrosexual lifestyle.

While attending John's family reunion, his fiancee realized that he was the pink sheep of the family; among a sea of XXL Old Navy t-shirts and Cherokee-brand jeans, he wore a vertically striped Banana Republic dress shirt, collar open, carefully tucked into starched and ironed chinos.

by Elliott August 24, 2005

loose lips shrink dicks

1. an expression implying that knowing to much about an activity, situation or person tends to discourage one from involving himself with it, often related to sexual encounters

see also zipless fuck

2. a truism

3. a parody of loose lips sink ships

After Elliott told Devin that Kittyboot's friend from Philly had roast beef curtains, Devin replied, "Buddy, thanks for warning me... loose lips shrink dicks."

by Elliott July 18, 2005

wikillectual

one whose major knowledge base appears to have been garnered from Wikipedia and its related projects

derived from googlectual

Rob concealed his status as a Wikillectual once he finally received his Wi-Fi PDA/Cellphone, though those with whom he engaged in intellectual sparring sessions often commented on his overactive bladder, as he constantly ran to the bathroom in order to query the site privately.

by Elliott July 8, 2005

shithawk

Any person or thing that’s attracted to shit or shitty situation.

Tabloid journalists are shithawks, as are lawyers.

by Elliott April 17, 2005

carn

being like or having traits of a carny; originating from the deep south

Travis is so carn, he has a mullet and drives a '91 Camaro IROC-Z.

Did we just drink at noon? We are sooo carn!

by elliott April 10, 2005

garlandized

When you're near completion of a project, someone finds a "better" way to do it. Or, they can't ever do it the same way twice, it must always be modified.

"Well, I know this is all working, but before I leave here we're going to change it to use register 7001 instead of 5001 just for this one, so can you go back and change that on your end?"

I've been garlandized!

by Elliott February 23, 2005