A severe cased of inflamed, thrombosed hemorrhoids giving the area around the anus the appearance of a head of cauliflower.
Stan: Hey Brahhhhhhh! How was your weekend?
Gary: Great Brooooohhhhh! I wrecked my girlfriend's ass all weekend long. She loved it. But it looked like a Purple Cauliflower this morning. She wouldn't let me touch it.
Stan: Get her some salve Braaaaahhh!
Gary: Great Brooooohhhhh! I wrecked my girlfriend's ass all weekend long. She loved it. But it looked like a Purple Cauliflower this morning. She wouldn't let me touch it.
Stan: Get her some salve Braaaaahhh!
by Eaton Holgoode April 14, 2015
To have one's vagina or anus sufficiently moistened and/or lubricated prior to any form of sexual intercourse.
Darlene only allowed Frank to penetrate her anal sphincter when it was well basted with some KY jelly. Otherwise, the old brown eye was off limits.
by Eaton Holgoode June 10, 2015
To intentionally or unintentionally wear one's Fitbit device while masturbating aka Fap resulting in the measurement of one's masturbation session(s) in terms of distance.
Rhonda returned home from her morning run after which she spent the next two hours laying in bed watching porn and fapping herself to glorious orgasm after orgasm. She forget she had left her Fitbit on and realized she had just Fitfaped the equivalent of almost 4.5 miles.
by Eaton Holgoode June 21, 2015
When your girl generously slathers up your cock and balls with creamy holiday egg nog and proceeds to blow you like a Christmas horn until you bust one out.
Jane gave me the old eggknob last night. My taint is still a little sticky.
Your mum gives the best eggknob braaaahhhh. Merry Christmas to me.
Your mum gives the best eggknob braaaahhhh. Merry Christmas to me.
by Eaton Holgoode November 25, 2017
Semen. Sperm. Nut. Nut custard. Man curd. Rock snot. Ball juice. Jizz. Cum. Identified as captain’s relish to signify a higher ranking class of man goo.
Rachel’s getting some of the Captain’s Relish tonight.
Rachel sucks a lot of dicks but she always comes back for a heaping helping of my Captain’s Relish.
Rachel sucks a lot of dicks but she always comes back for a heaping helping of my Captain’s Relish.
by Eaton Holgoode January 17, 2018
Faux Anal is a sex act that must be performed with a female with long hair who does not allow her male partner to have anal sex with her.
To perform the female partner lies naked on her back. She then lifts her hair up and over her head and covers her face, neck and upper chest. This gives the appearance that she is actually laying on her back and looking at the back of her head. The male partner then has vaginal intercourse while in this position during which time he uses his imagination that he is actually having anal sex .
To perform the female partner lies naked on her back. She then lifts her hair up and over her head and covers her face, neck and upper chest. This gives the appearance that she is actually laying on her back and looking at the back of her head. The male partner then has vaginal intercourse while in this position during which time he uses his imagination that he is actually having anal sex .
Wayne: Hey Braaaa! Did you ever get your girlfriend to let you pound her poop shoot?
Leroy: No Braaaaa! But I got a work around.
Wayne: How's that?
Leroy: She lets me perform Faux Anal.
Wayne: You got a great imagination Braaaaa.
Leroy: No Braaaaa! But I got a work around.
Wayne: How's that?
Leroy: She lets me perform Faux Anal.
Wayne: You got a great imagination Braaaaa.
by Eaton Holgoode July 01, 2009
When her pooter lips looks like they are all chewed up. Usually caused by vigorous sex, engorgment and beefy lips.
Rachel slippped off her panties and showed me her chewter.
Her pussy was so beat up after having sex all weekend that she had to put some salve on her chewter.
Her pussy was so beat up after having sex all weekend that she had to put some salve on her chewter.
by Eaton Holgoode June 13, 2018