Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Stool Face

That undeniable facial expression that displays sheer pain and pleasurable release all at the same time when one is attempting and eventually passing a hard, crusty, constipated turd from one's ass.

I shot a selfie taking a dump this morning and captured my stool face.

by Eaton Holgoode March 1, 2017

Assratt

A stank as turd blown out your ass. The kind that smells so bad nothing can mask the smell.

I just dropped an assratt. Don’t go in there.

Ok....who busted the assratt? Nasty.

by Eaton Holgoode February 1, 2018

Squirt N Jerk

The act of a male holding a massive load of diarrhea while masturbating sitting on the toilet. A master Squirt N Jerker will hold their diarrhea until the point of climax. At climax, both load are released for extreme gratification.

After holding a load of diarrhea for over an hour, he decided to take advantage of the opportunity to Squirt N Jerk and rubbed one out to a simultaneous explosion.

by Eaton Holgoode June 1, 2009

Coffee Afterbirth

The need to take one or more big old shits after your daily intake of morning java.

That Starbucks was great. But it’s time for a little coffee afterbirth.

This coffee afterbirth has got me trotting to the shitter a couple of times today.

by Eaton Holgoode December 12, 2018

Lappin Lab

To eat the pussy. Perform cunnilingus. Munching on the Labia aka The Lab. Dine at The Y. Chicken at the Y. Licking the old Vajayjay.

Stan: Hey Joe. What are you and your girl doing tonight? Going out?
Joe: No Braaahhhh! We are staying home. She just called and told me she's all fresh and in bed ready for me to get home. I'll be Lappin Lab tonight.
Stan: Them's good eats Broooohhhh! Good eats.

by Eaton Holgoode April 22, 2015

Food Kink

Incorporating the food or foods of your choice and liking into sexual play and activity.

The office had an ice cream social and all I could think about was licking a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream off my coworker’s stomach. Gotta get my food kink under control.

Rachel introduced to me her food kink with some warm carmel and whipped cream. What a sweet pussy that was.

by Eaton Holgoode November 14, 2018

Sunday Crock Potting

The internal gasy, gastrointestinal buildup, throughout the day on Sunday, of a wet, steamy shit inevitably to be dumped at the office on Monday morning. Sunday Crock Potting typically gestates a massive excrement as a result of a weekend of partying and poor dietary choices.

What the hell happened in that bathroom? Looks like there was swamp buggy race in the toilet and the smell is enough to make me retch.

George had a long weekend. He warned me he had been Sunday Crock Potting and I might not want to go in there.

by Eaton Holgoode November 28, 2015