To receive a vigorous hand job aka tug job whereby the giver is at least an arms length distance from the receiver's throbbing knob this requiring a significant reach while giving a good up and down wank.
Cindy gave me a hand job in the theater last night. But to avoid it being so obvious, she sat with a seat between us and gave it to me reach and pull style. I still nutted up her shirt sleeve real good.
by Eaton Holgoode December 24, 2015
A noticeable disformity of one or more of the hands giving the appearance that one is holding an invisible penis. The condition is developed over time from excessive, repetitive sessions of fapping and jacking oneself off. Not to be confused with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
After graduating college with a useless degree, Scott lived in his parent's basement where he watched porn and fapped himself multiple times a day. After a year of this deviant behavior, he developed a severe case of fapal tunnel syndrome and south the help of a neurologist.
by Eaton Holgoode March 24, 2017
Ladies and gentlemen, if you will pardon me for just a few moments. I need to hatch one and will be back in about five.
by Eaton Holgoode February 22, 2017
I got French horned last night and well......not gonna take a shit today for sure.
Tara is waiting for me to get home. She wants to be French horned tonight.
Braaaaahhh. My uncle French horned me last night after everyone went to bed.
Tara is waiting for me to get home. She wants to be French horned tonight.
Braaaaahhh. My uncle French horned me last night after everyone went to bed.
by Eaton Holgoode April 19, 2018
When you stretch your ballsack skin out flat and taut and your flaccid penis rests upon it. An ideal serving suggestion for presenting your cock to your lover’s hungry mouth.
Rachel wanted to blow my knob so I gave her the pork hammock.
My roommate walked around the house doing the pork hammock.
I did a little pork hammock last night in the mirror. I was bored.
My roommate walked around the house doing the pork hammock.
I did a little pork hammock last night in the mirror. I was bored.
by Eaton Holgoode March 12, 2018
The constant pain and anquish when a male realizes that he had a choice between two chicks and he picked the wrong one.
Both Mary and Cindy wanted to rock Larry's world. Larry got caught up on Mary's pussy control and picked Mary over Cindy for a life long commitment. Soon thereafter, Larry found himself with Vagremorse after realizing Cindy was a better choice.
by Eaton Holgoode June 06, 2009
While taking a bath, a male furiously and vigorously masterbates over and over again dropping as many jizz oysters as he can in the bath and watching them float.
Jervis got home from school and decided to take a bath. After entering the tub, he decided to get himself off and started Chumming the Bathwater.
by Eaton Holgoode June 24, 2009