Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Turtle Peeking

A euphemistic expression regarding the extreme urgency to defecate and holding it in as much in as possible. Having the pressure of a fecal turd poking itself partially out of the bum hole while trying to make it to the closest restroom.

Roger sprinted down the hall from his desk to the restroom. He has a turtle peeking.

Turtle Peeking by Eaton Holgoode March 20, 2017

Rigor Dick 

That coveted erectile state whereby your cock stays rigid and hard, even after ejaculation, allowing you to give her the D all night log.

I shagged her till she passed out braaaahhh. I had the rigor dick last night. She can't walk today.

Rigor Dick by Eaton Holgoode March 20, 2017

Chin Zest 

The ripe smell of your bum hole left on your girls chin.

When your girl lays flat and you straddle her face so she can work and slobber up those balls from below during which time you gingerly zest up her chin as it innocently works its way in and around your bum.

I went to kiss Dana after she slobbered up my balls real good but that chin zest was too much.

Chin Zest by Eaton Holgoode March 20, 2017

Bull Flarps 

Wet, growling flatulence that exits with the sound reminiscent of an angry, snorting bull. Typically ripe and rancid. Perfect for a dutch oven.

Braaaaahhh that is the last time I'm eating deviled eggs and drinking warm beer. I have got the worst bull flarps today.

Bull Flarps by Eaton Holgoode March 20, 2017

Tar Bucket 

That gooey condition of the asshole caused by a pastey turd. Despite a valiant effort, you just can't wipe that ass completely clean and itch to the remnants most of the day.

I'm all itchy down there braaaaahhh. Had the tacky turd today and got a tar bucket going on.

Those chicken wings gave me tar bucket.

There's not enough toilet paper in the house to remedy this tar bucket.

Tar Bucket by Eaton Holgoode March 20, 2017

Lady Muttons 

Overgrown vaginal hair that resembles mutton chops growing down each inner thigh. Hair so thick it's overtaken the loins and without a trimming, is working its way towards the knees. The worst form of lady burns you will ever encounter.

Becky is so hot but she has the worst lady muttons I've ever seen. It's a wooly beast down there braaaahhhh.

Lady Muttons by Eaton Holgoode March 17, 2017

Dad Bag 

When the male scrotum goes from a vibrant, firm, taut state of appearance to that of an old, dangly, wrinkled sack.

Sheila was disappointed to discover that Roger, while young and virile and in his prime, already had developed dad bag.

That old guy at the gym has dad bag. Thing almost drags the shower drain.

Dad Bag by Eaton Holgoode March 17, 2017