Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Penis Turnt

When you bang her so damn hard and good she cums so much her legs shake. She can’t walk or think straight.

I banged Rachel so long and hard last night she was penis turnt. She couldn’t walk to the bathroom to wipe up and I ended up having to go make my own sandwich.

by Eaton Holgoode June 9, 2018

Knuckle Chum

When you give yourself a hearty wank and bust a load all down your hand and fingers and fail to clean up the nut adequately leaving crusty jizz on the knuckles.

You might want to put a little hand lotion on your digits there braaaaaahhh. Skin looks a little dry and flakey. Naaaaaahhhh brooooohhhb that’s just knuckle chum. I didn’t wash my hand earlier after I gave it a good wank.

by Eaton Holgoode May 30, 2018

Grandma's Peaches

Small, round breasts of an elderly female. Like overly ripe peaches, they are soft and the skin is shriveled and wrinkled.

Roger always enjoyed granny porn. He couldn't get enough of Grandma's Peaches.

by Eaton Holgoode March 5, 2015

Fisherman's Knot

The promptly tied, mess avoiding, knot made at the open end of a sperm filled condom. The knot is tied quickly upon withdrawal and unsheathing the penis to avoid any leakage of errant cum.

After nutting up full the reservoir end of his lamb skin sheath, Dan quickly pulled out and secured his load with a Fisherman's Knot.

by Eaton Holgoode January 13, 2016

Lady Glaze

This delicious, moist, slick and shiny vaginal juices that glisten the female crotch. These juices are known for creating glazed donut face on a lover giving cunnilingus. Making a snail trail on a lover's leg when she rubs the super wet muff against the leg begging for penile insertion. and post coitus, leaving their lover's throbbing knob shining like polished glass.

Roger dove right into his girlfriend's super wet snatch. His lips and chin glistened with her lady glaze.

by Eaton Holgoode May 2, 2015

Eggknob

When your girl generously slathers up your cock and balls with creamy holiday egg nog and proceeds to blow you like a Christmas horn until you bust one out.

Jane gave me the old eggknob last night. My taint is still a little sticky.

Your mum gives the best eggknob braaaahhhh. Merry Christmas to me.

by Eaton Holgoode November 25, 2017

Fitfap

To intentionally or unintentionally wear one's Fitbit device while masturbating aka Fap resulting in the measurement of one's masturbation session(s) in terms of distance.

Rhonda returned home from her morning run after which she spent the next two hours laying in bed watching porn and fapping herself to glorious orgasm after orgasm. She forget she had left her Fitbit on and realized she had just Fitfaped the equivalent of almost 4.5 miles.

by Eaton Holgoode June 21, 2015