Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Albino Gravy Pump 

A vigorous hand job with two fisted pumping action delivering a climactic release of Albino Gravy aka jizz.

Jessie gave me the old albino gravy pump last night.

Albino Gravy Pump by Eaton Holgoode February 6, 2017

Stiff Bishop 

A turgid and fully erect penis aching for a feverish wank.

See also Bopping the Bishop.

After an 20 minutes of surfing online porn, Carl found himself with a Stiff Bishop.

Stiff Bishop by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2017

Bishop

Irreverent slang for the male penis.

Mom: What are you doing in there? Open this door!
Son: Hold on!! I'm Bopping my Bishop.

Mom: Wash up when your done. It's time for dinner.

Bishop by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2017

Bishop's Massage 

1. To wank and rub one out in a fast and feverish manner.

2. To receive a handy from your camp counselor at summer camp.

1. I was late for work again today. Gots cut back on the Bishop's Massage.

2. How was summer camp this year? Great. Experienced a Bishop's Massage for the first time. I'm already signed up for next summer.

Bishop's Massage by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2017

Jergens Jerk

Giving yourself a hearty wank using your grandma's Jergens hand lotion for lube.

Granny B never understood why her Jergens bottle went half empty when her grandson spent the weekend. His hands were always greasy from his Jergens Jerks.

Jergens Jerk by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2017

Moose Bell 

1. A deposit of skin hanging from the neck if a bull moose.

2. An excessively large and dangling male scrotum.

1. Shot a bull moose last week hunting in Alaska. Thing has a huge moose bell.

2. Frank's moose bell was too much for his girlfriend to gag down when he tea bagged her.

Moose Bell by Eaton Holgoode January 20, 2017

Brown Marble 

An inordinately large Dingleberry.

Braaaahhhh I need your pocket knife.

Why?

Gotta cut this brown marble out my crease fleece. I can barley walk.

Brown Marble by Eaton Holgoode January 12, 2017