Definitions by Dusty's Baby Powder
Bendinitis
A painful lower leg condition most notably suffered by Ben Hatley. Especially if he hasn't stretched before running. This condition is often very painful causing Ben to scream. A notable example of Bendinitis happened on May 12, 2006 when he didn't realize he and Liv were only stretching before running. But it can quickly be made up.
Ben: Oh no, I shouldn't have gone running. I've got a terrible Bendinitis.
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
Liv: Well, you should have stretched. A Liv Lean would have done it! Or maybe a Ben Ball. They stretch the shins.
Ben: Crazy cramp! Will this ever end? (he makes a seething sound as if it really hurts) Hey Liv, massage this for me, will you?
Liv: (laughing) Okay, okay, I'll massage it. Here, let me stretch it for you, too. Easy now, we'll get rid of that old Bendinitis. We'll send it back where it came from. It won't be coming back!
Ben: Whoah! Maybe you're right. A good stretch should do it. (he leans into a Ben Ball) That's the ticket. That's better.
Liv: I know. Bendinitis hurts! But, we can always make up for it. Just remember, Bendinitis hurts, so stretch it out first. (She laughs)
Bendinitis by Dusty's Baby Powder August 12, 2011
Swampy Romp
A date between Martha Halftrack and Bryant Hollifield. Held unbeknownst to her husband, Amos. Its very sneaky; the other soldiers don't know they're doing it. But Amos finds out everytime.
Marty: Hey, how about a Swampy Romp tonight? We'll sneak around and the boys won't even know.
Bryant: Great! I bet Papa Amos will be mad as a hornet.
Marty: Knowing him he probably will. He'll probably make us do a PT workout. But, hey, its just us. Nobody else.
Bryant: But what if he saw? Would he tell? Would I get thrown off base?
Amos: (hearing Bryant) No. We would never throw you off the base. Not here at Camp Swampy, anyway. Remember, I'm your Papa Amos. And I love you.
Marty: Yeah, and I'm your Grandma Marty. You can't forget that! We always have these little dates. So we're always rompin' around the Swamp.
Bryant: We'll romp around the Swamp tonight. We'll romp around it 'till broad daylight. We're gonna romp, gonna romp, gonna romp around tonight. Its a Swampy Romp!
Bryant: Great! I bet Papa Amos will be mad as a hornet.
Marty: Knowing him he probably will. He'll probably make us do a PT workout. But, hey, its just us. Nobody else.
Bryant: But what if he saw? Would he tell? Would I get thrown off base?
Amos: (hearing Bryant) No. We would never throw you off the base. Not here at Camp Swampy, anyway. Remember, I'm your Papa Amos. And I love you.
Marty: Yeah, and I'm your Grandma Marty. You can't forget that! We always have these little dates. So we're always rompin' around the Swamp.
Bryant: We'll romp around the Swamp tonight. We'll romp around it 'till broad daylight. We're gonna romp, gonna romp, gonna romp around tonight. Its a Swampy Romp!
Swampy Romp by Dusty's Baby Powder August 4, 2011
Marty Massage
A circuit training program which combines exercise with massage. This was created by Major Martha Halftrack, US Army (Ret.). Usually done in the mornings before her husband, Amos, gets up. It is very comforting. So, if you want comfort without a barrage, go to Camp Swampy and get a Marty Massage.
Marty: Hey Bryant, you look tired, honey. What can I do to wake you up? (Suddenly snaps her hand) I know, how about a Marty Massage? You love those!
Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)
Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.
Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?
Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!
Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!
Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.
Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.
Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!
Bryant: Okay, how about five minutes of massage, then we run down to the DFAC and back again, and then another massage? (Jumps up and takes off running)
Marty: Whoah! Hold up! We haven't even done the warm up stretches, yet. Remember, you can't do PT cold body. You'd rip a muscle, sweetie pie.
Amos: What are you two doing? Oh, the Marty Massage? I love that! Can I do it, too?
Bryant: Sure! Drop and give me one-fifty! (Blows the whistle) Ten HUT!
Marty: Good God! One hundred and fifty push ups? That's a lot of push ups. That's my honeybear, don't burn him up!
Bryant: I'm not. (They all start running for the DFAC) I'm hungry. All this exercise made me want to eat.
Amos: Whoah! Me too! I gotta eat. Then, after we eat, we can burn off more goo. Good thing she knows what she's talking about.
Marty: Well, would any of you like a massage? Its not just exercise, its massage too! The Marty Massage is awesome!
Marty Massage by Dusty's Baby Powder August 1, 2011
Stanley S
A very creamy warm up stretch created by Stan Parker. Done by bending your body into an 'S', first one way and then the other. The stretch is always counteracted by touching toes and holding it. This is one of the easiest ways to stretch your back. When your back hurts, try a Stanley S. Stan Parker approved; Harriet Parker used!
Stan: Hey honey, are you sore? Does your back hurt again?
Bryant: Yes. My back does hurt. I think I slept on it wrong.
Stan: Well, no problem. I know how to fix that. Here, let's do a Stanley S. (he bends himself into an S) Easy, now. There you go. This feels creamy, doesn't it?
Bryant: Yeah, it does feel good. This is one of the nicest stretches.
Stan: Now, reverse the bend. S your body the other way. See, like this. (he forms a reverse S with his body) See, like that! Now, hold that for a few seconds and then touch your toes. Easy, right?
Rabbit: What's that? I haven't tried it. Can you show me? I want to learn how. You know, I'm stiff.
Stan: Sure! Just make an S with your body. First one way. (he shows her the Stanley S) And then the other way. And then you touch your toes at the end.
Rabbit: (tries the Stanley S) Wow! Great stretch Stanley. I oughta try this everyday!
Stan: Well, about ten of those everyday and your back will get the best stretch in the world. Its nothing less than the Stanley S!
Bryant: Yes. My back does hurt. I think I slept on it wrong.
Stan: Well, no problem. I know how to fix that. Here, let's do a Stanley S. (he bends himself into an S) Easy, now. There you go. This feels creamy, doesn't it?
Bryant: Yeah, it does feel good. This is one of the nicest stretches.
Stan: Now, reverse the bend. S your body the other way. See, like this. (he forms a reverse S with his body) See, like that! Now, hold that for a few seconds and then touch your toes. Easy, right?
Rabbit: What's that? I haven't tried it. Can you show me? I want to learn how. You know, I'm stiff.
Stan: Sure! Just make an S with your body. First one way. (he shows her the Stanley S) And then the other way. And then you touch your toes at the end.
Rabbit: (tries the Stanley S) Wow! Great stretch Stanley. I oughta try this everyday!
Stan: Well, about ten of those everyday and your back will get the best stretch in the world. Its nothing less than the Stanley S!
Stanley S by Dusty's Baby Powder July 31, 2011
Hand Grenade Heat
A very, very spicy chili made by Beatrice Middleton. Was a hit in mess halls in 1945, especially at Paris Island. Can be made of any meat, but mostly uses chicken or turkey. The secret is a mix of jalapeno and serrano peppers which she puts in with the meat. Don't get too close or it will explode. Hence the name: Hand Grenade Heat!
Beatrice: Hey y'all, who's hungry? I got something good. Who's ready for some Hand Grenade Heat?
Morris: That really hot chili you love? Oh sure, are you making some?
Beatrice: Yep. This is for you and all the rest of them. Here, taste it. Tell me if it needs more heat.
Morris: (tastes the chili) Wow! That's an explosion waiting to happen. Its got kick!
Stan: Hey, what's that? I know chili but I've never seen chili that hot. (He tastes some and the chili goes BOOM!) Wow! That is one kickin' chili there!
Rabbit: Stanley! You shouldn't have eaten that yet. Its way too hot! You'll get heartburn, honey.
Beatrice: Who cares?! This stuff is meant to give you heartburn. Its not just any old chili, it burned tons of soldiers when I made it in the Marines. One taste of this and you'll be workin' it off for days. (She salutes) Aye sir!! OORAH!
Stan: Sorry, I didn't know it would explode. Now, I'm a big guy, 6'2" 285 lbs. And I love to eat! Otherwise, how would I stay a soft gooey marshmellow?
Bryant: You're not a marshmellow. You're a bunny! Even bunnies need to eat. Thanks for dinner. It rocked!
Morris: That really hot chili you love? Oh sure, are you making some?
Beatrice: Yep. This is for you and all the rest of them. Here, taste it. Tell me if it needs more heat.
Morris: (tastes the chili) Wow! That's an explosion waiting to happen. Its got kick!
Stan: Hey, what's that? I know chili but I've never seen chili that hot. (He tastes some and the chili goes BOOM!) Wow! That is one kickin' chili there!
Rabbit: Stanley! You shouldn't have eaten that yet. Its way too hot! You'll get heartburn, honey.
Beatrice: Who cares?! This stuff is meant to give you heartburn. Its not just any old chili, it burned tons of soldiers when I made it in the Marines. One taste of this and you'll be workin' it off for days. (She salutes) Aye sir!! OORAH!
Stan: Sorry, I didn't know it would explode. Now, I'm a big guy, 6'2" 285 lbs. And I love to eat! Otherwise, how would I stay a soft gooey marshmellow?
Bryant: You're not a marshmellow. You're a bunny! Even bunnies need to eat. Thanks for dinner. It rocked!
Hand Grenade Heat by Dusty's Baby Powder July 27, 2011
Santa Bunny
A mix of The Easter Bunny and Santa Claus played by Earl Pickles to impress his grandson, Nelson. The first use of the Santa Bunny was Easter of 2011. To make a Santa Bunny, you get a Santa suit and cover it with an Easter Bunny head. This always makes kids laugh and is the best of both worlds. Even kids who don't like either one alone will love the Santa Bunny.
Opal: Hey Nelson, I think the Santa Bunny is coming! After all, it is Easter/Christmas!
Nelson: Oh boy, I bet Grandpa Earl is playing it. Its so much fun when I see him in that.
Opal: Yeah, the Santa Bunny is cute. I think I see him now.
Earl: (hopping down the hall) Ho ho ho! Merry Easter/Christmas! I got your Easter basket for you. Have been a good boy this year?
Nelson: Yes! I have been a good boy. This is great! Santa and The Easter Bunny - all mixed up. This is the best character I know.
Opal: Yes, but you haven't seen nothing yet. Wait till you see the Chocolate Fairy. Wait till you lose your next tooth. It will be awesome!
Nelson: Nice! But I still prefer the Santa Bunny. He's such a cutie! He hopped on down the chimney tonight. (Sung to the tune of "Santa Baby")
Opal: Don't you love it? This is sweet. The generosity of Santa plus the sweetness of a rabbit. The Santa Bunny is so cool. Santa Bunnies rule!
Nelson: Oh boy, I bet Grandpa Earl is playing it. Its so much fun when I see him in that.
Opal: Yeah, the Santa Bunny is cute. I think I see him now.
Earl: (hopping down the hall) Ho ho ho! Merry Easter/Christmas! I got your Easter basket for you. Have been a good boy this year?
Nelson: Yes! I have been a good boy. This is great! Santa and The Easter Bunny - all mixed up. This is the best character I know.
Opal: Yes, but you haven't seen nothing yet. Wait till you see the Chocolate Fairy. Wait till you lose your next tooth. It will be awesome!
Nelson: Nice! But I still prefer the Santa Bunny. He's such a cutie! He hopped on down the chimney tonight. (Sung to the tune of "Santa Baby")
Opal: Don't you love it? This is sweet. The generosity of Santa plus the sweetness of a rabbit. The Santa Bunny is so cool. Santa Bunnies rule!
Santa Bunny by Dusty's Baby Powder July 23, 2011
Relaxectomy
The surgical removal of stress. Often done in a doctor's office or at home. Can be anything, but most often refers to massaging and stretching. The word literally means "removal of relaxation". The first relaxectomy was done by Hec Hanley on Beatrice Middleton. This is a nice way to relieve stress and is best if done before bed. So if you're tired or stressed out don't go to any yoga or tai chi classes. Go for a relaxectomy - they are so cool.
Beatrice: Oh no, I'm so stressed out. I need a relaxectomy.
Hec: Well, no problem. We can get our relax on right here, right now. Have we got any Martian Mud?
Beatrice: I see where this is going. You're thinking of giving me a full body rub down, aren't you?
Hec: Yeah, we got the Martian Mud here alright. Hold still, now. (He starts rubbing Beatrice with the Martian Mud) There you go! Now, isn't that creamy?
Beatrice: Yes! That is really creamy. What else can we do?
Hec: We're both still a little bit stressed. How about some warm up stretches? (they do a Hanley Hula) Now, that's nice, isn't it? Don't you feel loose?
Beatrice: Not just loose - limber! Just look at that swing! Now, a Gunny Granny knows what she's talking about. Remember my creed, "A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!"
Hec: This is a relaxectomy. The world's only stress surgery. Pretty sweet, huh?`
Hec: Well, no problem. We can get our relax on right here, right now. Have we got any Martian Mud?
Beatrice: I see where this is going. You're thinking of giving me a full body rub down, aren't you?
Hec: Yeah, we got the Martian Mud here alright. Hold still, now. (He starts rubbing Beatrice with the Martian Mud) There you go! Now, isn't that creamy?
Beatrice: Yes! That is really creamy. What else can we do?
Hec: We're both still a little bit stressed. How about some warm up stretches? (they do a Hanley Hula) Now, that's nice, isn't it? Don't you feel loose?
Beatrice: Not just loose - limber! Just look at that swing! Now, a Gunny Granny knows what she's talking about. Remember my creed, "A Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!"
Hec: This is a relaxectomy. The world's only stress surgery. Pretty sweet, huh?`
Relaxectomy by Dusty's Baby Powder July 23, 2011