Dusty's Baby Powder's definitions
An exercise program invented by Ed Crankshaft, done by him when played for the Toledo Mudhens. Of course it includes the Mudhen Bend, but it also includes other things. It is performed on a therapy ball and can be done anywhere.
Lena: Ed, I'm all worked up. I''m stiff. This bowling ball feels like lead.
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
Ed: (starts laughing at her) Well, have no fear, Ed Crankshaft is here. I know how to fix it! Try my Ed Stretches. They'll help.
Lena: Come on, medicine ball therapy. What are you talking about, Edward?
Ed: (looking at her stern) Lena Alice Johnson! Trust me, this always worked for me and it will work for you, too. Just try it.
Lena: Well, if it will help me bowl, sure, I'll try it.
(Ed and Lena start stretching on the ball)
Lena: Wow! You were right. Ed Stretches really work.
Ed: (laughing again) Lena, I told you they would. That's ball's gonna go down that lane like a hot knife through bacon!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 7, 2011
Get the Ed Stretchesmug. A jail seen in every mall. Arrested shoppers can sit in here for hours at a time. June Jails are always guarded by at least security guard taking shifts. The first use of a June Jail was when June Drabble got arrested by her husband, Ralph, for eating candy that she didn't pay for. A June Jail is fun to sit in and will always be there when you're tired from shopping. So if you want a place to rest when your shopping failed, head on over to the nearest June Jail!
Ralph: I can't believe this! You stole a malt ball, honeybunch?! You're gonna have to sit in the June Jail.
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
June: Well, that might not be so bad. I still got me some candy!
Necky: But you didn't pay! That was just it, you didn't pay. Over against the wall! (starts searching June for candy)
Ralph: Look, I found a lava cake. Why don't we all sit in the June Jail. This is going to be fun. This is sweet! A June Jail is so much fun.
June: Yes, it sure is. But I feel like some exercise. (she starts jogging around the jail cell.)
Necky: Wait! Are you hungry? We still got some of the cake and candy.
June: No, not right now. Exercise first, then eat. You know how Ralph is. He's gotta keep his gooey going.
Ralph: (laughing) Now, all this exercise is making me tired. I'm gonna have to sit down. How do you like the June Jail?
June: It rocks! This is one of the nicest jails anybody could go to. A couple of hours in here and you'll love money. And its all thanks to my Ralphy Boy!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 15, 2011
Get the June Jailmug. The system of hand signals used by Emily and Buster Hanson. Buster, as you may know by now, is Emily Hanson's deaf dog. She created this sign language in order to talk to him. It is very fun to use and people like to learn it.
Emily: Boy, Buster is sure learning HSL fast.
Opal: What's HSL? I've never heard of it.
Emily: It's stands for Hanson Sign Language. It's how me and Buster talk.
(Emily slaps her leg) Emily: Hey Buster, come here!
Opal: Wow, he really knows what you're saying.
Buster: (looking at the two women as if they're crazy) Hey, where's my dinner?!
Opal: What's HSL? I've never heard of it.
Emily: It's stands for Hanson Sign Language. It's how me and Buster talk.
(Emily slaps her leg) Emily: Hey Buster, come here!
Opal: Wow, he really knows what you're saying.
Buster: (looking at the two women as if they're crazy) Hey, where's my dinner?!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 15, 2011
Get the HSLmug. A massage given by Flo Rogers to her best friend and fellow military granny, Beatrice Middleton. A Rogers Rub is most often given before a card game or any other hard time. Rogers Rub is guaranteed to melt stress away. Not a believer yet? Ask Flo Rogers to give you one one time. You will love it! Flo Rogers guaranteed! S.W.A.A.
Flo: Oh no, I'm so stiff. They don't call it Body Poker for nothing. My whole body hurts. I need my Rogers Rub.
Beatrice: (she is putting the cards back) A Rogers Rub? Give me one too! You know I like them. Let's use the Martian Mud.
Flo: Sure, full body or just half?
Beatrice: Well, you know it works best if you go full body with it. A Gunny Granny can't take stress. Hey, its a dirty job, but a Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!
Flo: Hey, I know the feeling. I love a massage, too. And the Rogers Rub is one of the best ways. It sure does melt your body! (Flo and Beatrice start massaging each other)
Beatrice: Oh yeah, this is just flying away. That Body Poker game really took a lot out of me.
Flo: Yeah, it did me too. But, see, a Rogers Rub is a great massage! And it isn't just a massage, we can stretch while we're doing it. (she starts stretching on Flo's ankle)
Flo: (reaches up and kisses Beatrice) Yes, the Rogers Rub - one of the best Sea Granny secrets! A Sea Granny cannot set sail without a Rogers Rub. So creamy!
Beatrice: (she is putting the cards back) A Rogers Rub? Give me one too! You know I like them. Let's use the Martian Mud.
Flo: Sure, full body or just half?
Beatrice: Well, you know it works best if you go full body with it. A Gunny Granny can't take stress. Hey, its a dirty job, but a Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!
Flo: Hey, I know the feeling. I love a massage, too. And the Rogers Rub is one of the best ways. It sure does melt your body! (Flo and Beatrice start massaging each other)
Beatrice: Oh yeah, this is just flying away. That Body Poker game really took a lot out of me.
Flo: Yeah, it did me too. But, see, a Rogers Rub is a great massage! And it isn't just a massage, we can stretch while we're doing it. (she starts stretching on Flo's ankle)
Flo: (reaches up and kisses Beatrice) Yes, the Rogers Rub - one of the best Sea Granny secrets! A Sea Granny cannot set sail without a Rogers Rub. So creamy!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 25, 2011
Get the Rogers Rubmug. A form of nap training which combines power napping, hard exercise, and massage. Most notably created and used by Opal Crankshaft. Opal Crankshaft Nap Training.
Opal: I just had a rough afternoon of OCNT!
Beatrice: What's OCNT?
Opal: O-pal C-rankshaft N-ap T-raining.
Beatrice: Oh my word, Morris is gonna love that. He could use a some rigorous nap training!!
Beatrice: What's OCNT?
Opal: O-pal C-rankshaft N-ap T-raining.
Beatrice: Oh my word, Morris is gonna love that. He could use a some rigorous nap training!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 24, 2010
Get the OCNTmug. Showing intense affiliation for Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. Most notably by painting the entire body royal blue.
Beatrice: Hey Ed, wanna go Duking with me tomorrow night?
Ed: Sure, UNC's playing them, right?
Beatrice: Yup@ We're gonna get our Duke on!
Ed: Sheesh, Kent State ain't got nothing on me.
Beatrice: This is Duke country, baby!
Ed: Sure, UNC's playing them, right?
Beatrice: Yup@ We're gonna get our Duke on!
Ed: Sheesh, Kent State ain't got nothing on me.
Beatrice: This is Duke country, baby!
by Dusty's Baby Powder October 11, 2010
Get the Dukingmug. A card game invented by Beatrice Middleton. Mostly played over the phone, but can also be played with cards. Two decks of cards are needed for this game. Played much like normal poker except using the parts of the body instead of chips to make bets with. Whoever has the most 'body' at the end of the game wins. So, next time you're looking for some fun - get a bunch of your granny friends together and play some Body Poker. You will love it! Beatrice Middleton Approved!!
Beatrice: Hey Flo, you up for a game tonight? What do you think, maybe Body Poker?
Flo: (whooping!) Bring it on, Beatrice! Bring it on! Two body draw, kidneys wild!
(A knock at the door)
Hec: Hey girls, what's going on? Whoah, do I smell Body Poker going on? Deal me in, grannies!
Flo: Okay, you're up. I'll be you two kidneys against one heart.
Beatrice: I'll see your bet and raise you some Spider Veins! My blue babies!
Hec: (growling) Well, throw in an arthritic knee and its a deal!
(Laughing from the next room)
Morris: (talking to Midge) What are they doing in there? Are they doing that Body Poker stuff again?
Midge: Sure, they love to play it. You know, when you get old your body falls apart.
Morrs: Well, maybe they should deal me up. I'll go ask them.
Hec: (hearing Morris from the other room) Sure! I'll raise you a stiff back. You're in!
(Everyone starts laughing)
Beatrice: Pay up, sonny! I'll raise you a whole body for just your back!
Morris: Rock on, Body Poker is the newest Blackjack!
Flo: (whooping!) Bring it on, Beatrice! Bring it on! Two body draw, kidneys wild!
(A knock at the door)
Hec: Hey girls, what's going on? Whoah, do I smell Body Poker going on? Deal me in, grannies!
Flo: Okay, you're up. I'll be you two kidneys against one heart.
Beatrice: I'll see your bet and raise you some Spider Veins! My blue babies!
Hec: (growling) Well, throw in an arthritic knee and its a deal!
(Laughing from the next room)
Morris: (talking to Midge) What are they doing in there? Are they doing that Body Poker stuff again?
Midge: Sure, they love to play it. You know, when you get old your body falls apart.
Morrs: Well, maybe they should deal me up. I'll go ask them.
Hec: (hearing Morris from the other room) Sure! I'll raise you a stiff back. You're in!
(Everyone starts laughing)
Beatrice: Pay up, sonny! I'll raise you a whole body for just your back!
Morris: Rock on, Body Poker is the newest Blackjack!
by Dusty's Baby Powder June 16, 2011
Get the Body Pokermug.