An infomercial starring Opal Crankshaft. It is most often for exercise equipment but also for cooking or other "granny" products. The word is a mix of infomercial and Opal. Opal can often be seen skipping up and down on the set praising the products. Her grandson, Nelson, loves to watch Opalmercials. So, if you're looking for something to do at 4:30 am (PDT), click on the PIN Network for an Opalmercial - they are cute!
Opal: Hey Nelson, there's an Opalmercial on the TV. Wanna watch it?
Nelson: Sure! But we'll probably have to skip it. Its not that good.
Opal: Skip it? Of course we can skip it. Watch this! (she starts skipping down the hall with the remote in her hand)
Earl: What are you watching? Is that an Opalmercial? That's pretty cool. You love these, don't you?
Nelson: Yes. I love Opalmercials. Especially because they've got Gramma in them.
Earl: Well, what's she selling? Thunderbrushes? I bet its Thunderbrush.
Opal: I heard that! (she skips back down the hall to Earl) Aren't Opalmercials cute? Now, brush me fifty! (she winks at Nelson and they start skipping around the room) Opalmercials rock!
Nelson: Sure! But we'll probably have to skip it. Its not that good.
Opal: Skip it? Of course we can skip it. Watch this! (she starts skipping down the hall with the remote in her hand)
Earl: What are you watching? Is that an Opalmercial? That's pretty cool. You love these, don't you?
Nelson: Yes. I love Opalmercials. Especially because they've got Gramma in them.
Earl: Well, what's she selling? Thunderbrushes? I bet its Thunderbrush.
Opal: I heard that! (she skips back down the hall to Earl) Aren't Opalmercials cute? Now, brush me fifty! (she winks at Nelson and they start skipping around the room) Opalmercials rock!
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 29, 2011
A substitute referee that came in when the other ref got sick. Usually dressed in a normal ref uniform, but with white sneakers instead of black. Often also leads the crowd in warm up stretches yelling "Move it!". Once of the most famous is Beatrice Middleton as seen in 'The Middletons' strip from December 27, 2009. Reftitutes are crazy. They will eject you!
Liv: Hey, today's a great day for a jog! How about some warm up stretches?
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
Ben: Oh no, not the Hatley Hula again! We've done that a million times.
Liv: Yes, but you love it. Uh oh, here comes the Reftitute. We better get stretching.
Beatrice: (wearing a ref uniform) That's right! You'd better get moving. Can I stretch with you, too?
Liv: Of course! Easy, stretch all the way over. There you go! Doesn't that feel creamy?
Beatrice: Yes, but what else?
Liv: There's the Hatley Hula, the Liv Lean, the Benball. There's all sorts of crazy stretches. Even referees need to stretch.
Beatrice: You do realize we're only stretching before going running, don't you? (She blows the whistle) Move it! Reftitute in the house.
Liv: Nice, I think I'm gonna love this.
Ben: Yes, Reftitutes are sweet!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 19, 2011
A black and white warm up suit shared by Ben and Liv Hatley. Most often worn by Ben when he rides on the Benmobile, but also shared by Liv when she does Tai Chi. The often put it on in the mornings when they get up so they can stretch themselves. So when you see it, look out, because Ben Hatley has got his Hunk Suit on!
Ben: (riding on the Benmobile) Hey, I better get my Hunk Suit on. We're gonna play some soccer today! I'd better burn off some of this goo.
Nick: Hey, I got my soccer ball. How about we play soccer?
Ben: I'm not sure I know how. Can you teach me?
Nick: Well, its not hard to kick a soccer ball. Here, I'll show you. Spread your feet out so you get a good stance behind it. Then, you angle yourself to get a good shot - about 45 degrees, or so. And then you run toward the ball and slap it with your foot. Here, watch Mommy do it!
Patty: Here, Dad, he's right! I'll show you how. He's got the right idea. But when you're kicking it, try to squat down into the kick. That's where all the power comes from.
Ben: Alright, I'll try. Here it goes! (Nick throws a soccer ball to Ben and Ben shoots it) Wow, look at that thing go! Watch out Havard Flo, here comes Ben Hatley!
Nick: (laughing) Wow! You've sure learned fast.
Ben: Well, I had a great coach, Patty Hatley Tokoname. (Ben and Patty slap a high five. Then Ben high fives Nick)
Nick: You look good in that Hunk Suit. You're a hunka hunka Hatley love!!
Nick: Hey, I got my soccer ball. How about we play soccer?
Ben: I'm not sure I know how. Can you teach me?
Nick: Well, its not hard to kick a soccer ball. Here, I'll show you. Spread your feet out so you get a good stance behind it. Then, you angle yourself to get a good shot - about 45 degrees, or so. And then you run toward the ball and slap it with your foot. Here, watch Mommy do it!
Patty: Here, Dad, he's right! I'll show you how. He's got the right idea. But when you're kicking it, try to squat down into the kick. That's where all the power comes from.
Ben: Alright, I'll try. Here it goes! (Nick throws a soccer ball to Ben and Ben shoots it) Wow, look at that thing go! Watch out Havard Flo, here comes Ben Hatley!
Nick: (laughing) Wow! You've sure learned fast.
Ben: Well, I had a great coach, Patty Hatley Tokoname. (Ben and Patty slap a high five. Then Ben high fives Nick)
Nick: You look good in that Hunk Suit. You're a hunka hunka Hatley love!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder May 19, 2011
A country dance done by Beatrice Middleton. Most notably done to 'Hillbilly Rock' by Marty Stuart. Its a fun dance and is also a wonderful pre-game warm up exercise. Its also used as a celebration dance when Beatrice's teams win. So if you want some fun that keeps ticking like a clock, do a crazy thing called the Gunny Granny Rock!
Beatrice: Hey kids, you want to learn the Gunny Granny Rock? Its fun!
Diego: Sure! But what's a Gunny Granny Rock?
Wilson: Yeah, what you talkin' about Coach Beatrice?
Beatrice: Here, let me show you. (She turns on 'Hillbilly Rock') You just imitate the movements of the song. Its easy. (She starts dancing with them)
Diego: You're right, this is fun! I love it.
Beatrice: I knew you would. This is crazy. Its the Gunny Granny Rock beating with the drum. Its as quick as shooting from a gun. You'll love it.
Diego and Wilson: Nice! Crazy as a clock, we love it when you do the Gunny Granny Rock. Cause after all a Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!
Beatrice: Right on! (she high fives Wilson and Diego)
Diego: Sure! But what's a Gunny Granny Rock?
Wilson: Yeah, what you talkin' about Coach Beatrice?
Beatrice: Here, let me show you. (She turns on 'Hillbilly Rock') You just imitate the movements of the song. Its easy. (She starts dancing with them)
Diego: You're right, this is fun! I love it.
Beatrice: I knew you would. This is crazy. Its the Gunny Granny Rock beating with the drum. Its as quick as shooting from a gun. You'll love it.
Diego and Wilson: Nice! Crazy as a clock, we love it when you do the Gunny Granny Rock. Cause after all a Gunny Granny's gotta do what a Gunny Granny's gotta do!
Beatrice: Right on! (she high fives Wilson and Diego)
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 11, 2012
A hard, intense workout created by SFC Roger "Stainy" Staneglass, chaplain of Camp Swampy army base in North Carolina. He created this to help him stay in shape between church sermons. All his other solider friends often join him in this.
Stainy: Uh oh, its 0500. I better do my Stainyrobics. (starts stretching himself) Sweet Mary, its a great day!
Orville: (seeing Stainy) Hey Stainy, what are you doing? Is that some sort of weird church workout?
Stainy: No, its just my Stainyrobics. This is kinda crazy, but I love it. Why don't you join me?
Orville: Sure! (starts doing jumping jacks trying to warm himself up)
Amos: (sees Stainy and Orville exercising) Wow! They're doing PT and they didn't invite me! Well, they're gonna get it now. (screaming) TEN HUT! At ease. Can I join you guys?
Stainy: Sure! Here, try pumping this a few times. (he hands Amos a big wooden cross) Just make believe you're Jesus trying to carry it, only its too heavy.
Amos: Whoah! My biceps are burning. I bet Martha would have a freak-out if she saw us doing this! What a Mother's Day present, I'll go home with some burning Brigadier biceps!!
Orville: (seeing Stainy) Hey Stainy, what are you doing? Is that some sort of weird church workout?
Stainy: No, its just my Stainyrobics. This is kinda crazy, but I love it. Why don't you join me?
Orville: Sure! (starts doing jumping jacks trying to warm himself up)
Amos: (sees Stainy and Orville exercising) Wow! They're doing PT and they didn't invite me! Well, they're gonna get it now. (screaming) TEN HUT! At ease. Can I join you guys?
Stainy: Sure! Here, try pumping this a few times. (he hands Amos a big wooden cross) Just make believe you're Jesus trying to carry it, only its too heavy.
Amos: Whoah! My biceps are burning. I bet Martha would have a freak-out if she saw us doing this! What a Mother's Day present, I'll go home with some burning Brigadier biceps!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder May 09, 2011
The system of hand signals used by Emily and Buster Hanson. Buster, as you may know by now, is Emily Hanson's deaf dog. She created this sign language in order to talk to him. It is very fun to use and people like to learn it.
Emily: Boy, Buster is sure learning HSL fast.
Opal: What's HSL? I've never heard of it.
Emily: It's stands for Hanson Sign Language. It's how me and Buster talk.
(Emily slaps her leg) Emily: Hey Buster, come here!
Opal: Wow, he really knows what you're saying.
Buster: (looking at the two women as if they're crazy) Hey, where's my dinner?!
Opal: What's HSL? I've never heard of it.
Emily: It's stands for Hanson Sign Language. It's how me and Buster talk.
(Emily slaps her leg) Emily: Hey Buster, come here!
Opal: Wow, he really knows what you're saying.
Buster: (looking at the two women as if they're crazy) Hey, where's my dinner?!
by Dusty's Baby Powder January 14, 2011
A form of stress suffered by all security officers, especially when they have to rush back and forth and are always forgetting things. One major symptom of Drabble's Disease is the constant going back and forth to retrieve something you forgot. The disease was named in honor of the world's greatest mall cop, Sergeant Ralph E. Drabble, Jr.
Ralph: Oh no, I've got to go to work here in a second. But I forgot my wallet. (He finds his wallet) Bye!
Rose: Bye Ralph, have a great day! (she sits down and starts reading)
Ralph: (coming back) Sorry, forgot my cell phone. Dang Drabble's Disease! Come to think of it, I forgot my lunch.
Rose: Drabble's Disease?! What in the world is that?
Ralph: Its what happens when mall cops get stressed. We forget everything. Its terrible! We have to do jumping jacks just to calm down.
Rose: Have you tried other forms of therapy?
Ralph: (he punches the air with anger) Yes, but I don't know what else helps. Darn mall cops! We don't know what to do when this hits.
Rose: Try massage or walking back and forth making healing noises. That's what always works for me! The more stressed you are, the harder it is.
Ralph: OK, maybe massage and Qigong would help. You sure know what you're talking about.
Rose: Sure, I've studied this stuff for years. Its not easy! But you've got to eaaaaaase away that Drabble's Disease.
Rose: Bye Ralph, have a great day! (she sits down and starts reading)
Ralph: (coming back) Sorry, forgot my cell phone. Dang Drabble's Disease! Come to think of it, I forgot my lunch.
Rose: Drabble's Disease?! What in the world is that?
Ralph: Its what happens when mall cops get stressed. We forget everything. Its terrible! We have to do jumping jacks just to calm down.
Rose: Have you tried other forms of therapy?
Ralph: (he punches the air with anger) Yes, but I don't know what else helps. Darn mall cops! We don't know what to do when this hits.
Rose: Try massage or walking back and forth making healing noises. That's what always works for me! The more stressed you are, the harder it is.
Ralph: OK, maybe massage and Qigong would help. You sure know what you're talking about.
Rose: Sure, I've studied this stuff for years. Its not easy! But you've got to eaaaaaase away that Drabble's Disease.
by Dusty's Baby Powder September 16, 2011