Humpty Dumpty

a person who re-defines words to suit himself, rather than using words the way the dictionary defines them.

From Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass":

`When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'

`The question is,' said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.'

`The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master -- that's all.'
Person 1: I'm hungry.

Person 2: You don't know the meaning of "hungry" till you've been starving like the hordes in the third world.

Person 3: Bullshit! Look it up in the dictionary, Humpty Dumpty!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 26, 2010
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stygian

1) one of the triplets who came up from hell to do Azrael's bidding in "Dogma." When they were alive, they were baby-killers. That's why they were in hell.

2) anything having to do with hell.
This sentence doesn't have "stygian" in it.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd March 18, 2008
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Mike Gravel

The 2008 presidential candidate with the biggest balls. Man, that guy has balls the size of his homestate (Alaska).

He has said stuff like, that the "war was lost the day that George Bush invaded Iraq on a fraudulent basis." He doesn't have his finger to the wind. He just tells the damn truth. He's like the little boy in the Emperor's New Clothes.

Gravel has a campaign video (you can find it on the internet) where he just stares into the camera for a good two minutes and then picks up a rock and throws it in a pond and just walks off.

Balls, I tell you!
Man, that Mike Gravel dude has some ginormous balls.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd June 27, 2007
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somatose

when you take too many soma
Nah fergit him. He's somatose.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 10, 2007
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Dr. Heywood R. Floyd

He was the chairman of the National Council of Astronautics in 2001. He tracked down the monolith buried on the moon and touched it, whereupon it transmitted a signal to Jupiter.
Dr. Heywood R. Floyd: Good day, gentlemen. When you see this briefing, I presume you will be nearing your destination, Saturn. I hope that you've had a pleasant and uneventful trip and that the rest of your mission continues in the same manner. I should like to fill you in on some more of the details on which Mission Commander Kaminsky will have already briefed you. Thirteen months before the launch date of your Saturn mission, on April 12th, 2001, the first evidence for intelligent life outside the Earth was discovered.
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 01, 2007
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Budd Dwyer

Pennsylvania state Treasurer who committed suicide on TV in 1987. He was about to be sentenced and sent to prison. He called a press conference, read his suicide note, and blew his brains out with a .357 magnum.

It was snowing that day in Harrisburg, and lots of kids were home from school. Their cartoons were interrupted by this breaking news, in all its graphic glory.

Seared lots of young minds, it did. And this was pre-internet, mind you, so they weren't used to seeing stuff.
Whoh, did you see that? That Budd Dwyer dude just blew his fucking brains out!
by Dr. Heywood R. Floyd April 26, 2007
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