Dharma Midget's definitions

mushroom-bruise

A bruise, in the shape of a mushroom, obtained by being slapped with a large penis or penis-like object.

"Dude, I can't believe you goin' out with the new girl from accounting!"
"I'm gonna mushroom-bruise her ass, just for you. Just watch -- she won't be sittin' straight for a week."

by Dharma Midget September 7, 2016

Allahu Snackbar

When severe munchies start, it's time to hit the fridge/snack food aisle/Taco Bell with the ferocity of a terrorist trying to buy the affection of his/her imaginary friend in the sky. Allahu snackbar is the declaration of intention in such a scenario.

"Dude, is the blunt done?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I'm 'bout to 9-11 your fridge. ALLAHU SNACKBAR!"

Although his friends agreed that it was their favorite moment of the road trip, Steven realized that yelling "ALLAHU SNACKBAR!" in the McDonald's drive-thru was not the smartest idea he'd ever had.

by Dharma Midget November 21, 2016

Trump

Someone who takes credit for others' work, is extraordinarily arrogant, and has a smug sense of accomplishment regardless of the sheer stupidity of their actions; a douchebag.

"Dude, did you see Kanye on that talk show last night?"
"Yeah, he's such a fuckin' Trump."

by Dharma Midget November 5, 2014

doorknob

Someone who has frequent sex, with anyone who will stoop low enough to fuck them, regardless of physical appearance and/or hygiene.

"So I heard you're dating that new waitress..."
"Yeah, why?"
"Dude, she's a doorknob -- everyone gets a turn. I tagged her twice last month. I saw your dad coming out of her apartment yesterday."

by Dharma Midget July 2, 2016

egg swap

Sharing semen, usually by spitting it from one mouth to another. So named for the raw egg texture of a load of cum.

I don't know how to feel about my girlfriend -- she wants to egg swap after I fuck her in the ass and go shrimpin'.

by Dharma Midget October 20, 2016

Mormon hole

Any hole, crack, fold, or flap on a woman's body other than her vagina. Since premarital sex is forbidden for Joseph Smith sycophants, they will often use the rationalization that only penis + vagina = sex, and anything else is fair game.

Betty didn't want to upset Baby Jesus, so she would only let her boyfriend put his penis a Mormon hole -- he liked her mouth and armpit best.

by Dharma Midget May 8, 2017

Sriracha moustache

The result of sex with a menstruating woman, then wiping your penis on her face.

"Dude, your sister's a freak. She asked me to give her a sriracha moustache. I had to look it up. I mean, I did it, but still..."

by Dharma Midget March 8, 2017