Dharma Midget's definitions

doorknob

Someone who has frequent sex, with anyone who will stoop low enough to fuck them, regardless of physical appearance and/or hygiene.

"So I heard you're dating that new waitress..."
"Yeah, why?"
"Dude, she's a doorknob -- everyone gets a turn. I tagged her twice last month. I saw your dad coming out of her apartment yesterday."

by Dharma Midget July 2, 2016

up your ass & to the left

A dismissive way to answer someone annoying you for help, or just to be an asshole. Especially useful at work.

"Where can I find the foot-long dildos?" "Up your ass & to the left."

"Did you get that memo from the staff meeting?" "Yeah, it's up your ass & to the left."

by Dharma Midget December 16, 2019

Scrump

Combines scum and Trump. Perfect description for the sack of shot in the White House as well as his sycophantic followers.

There was a real scrump in the store yesterday -- Donald Trump shirt and everything. I think the scumbag left a slime trail behind him.

by Dharma Midget April 18, 2018

Trump

Someone who takes credit for others' work, is extraordinarily arrogant, and has a smug sense of accomplishment regardless of the sheer stupidity of their actions; a douchebag.

"Dude, did you see Kanye on that talk show last night?"
"Yeah, he's such a fuckin' Trump."

by Dharma Midget November 5, 2014

Allahu Snackbar

When severe munchies start, it's time to hit the fridge/snack food aisle/Taco Bell with the ferocity of a terrorist trying to buy the affection of his/her imaginary friend in the sky. Allahu snackbar is the declaration of intention in such a scenario.

"Dude, is the blunt done?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I'm 'bout to 9-11 your fridge. ALLAHU SNACKBAR!"

Although his friends agreed that it was their favorite moment of the road trip, Steven realized that yelling "ALLAHU SNACKBAR!" in the McDonald's drive-thru was not the smartest idea he'd ever had.

by Dharma Midget November 21, 2016

sole-tattoo

When you curb-stomp someone so hard, the tread of your boot is permanently printed on their face and/or head. Can also happen accidentally in a serious mosh pit, such as Slayer, Ministry, GG Allin, Cannibal Corpse, etc.

That fuckin' Neo-Nazi keeps punching people in the pit. Come on, we're all gonna sole-tattoo the fucker outside when the band's done.

by Dharma Midget May 9, 2018

Mormon hole

Any hole, crack, fold, or flap on a woman's body other than her vagina. Since premarital sex is forbidden for Joseph Smith sycophants, they will often use the rationalization that only penis + vagina = sex, and anything else is fair game.

Betty didn't want to upset Baby Jesus, so she would only let her boyfriend put his penis a Mormon hole -- he liked her mouth and armpit best.

by Dharma Midget May 8, 2017