Dharma Midget's definitions

up your ass & to the left

A dismissive way to answer someone annoying you for help, or just to be an asshole. Especially useful at work.

"Where can I find the foot-long dildos?" "Up your ass & to the left."

"Did you get that memo from the staff meeting?" "Yeah, it's up your ass & to the left."

by Dharma Midget December 16, 2019

Scrump

Combines scum and Trump. Perfect description for the sack of shot in the White House as well as his sycophantic followers.

There was a real scrump in the store yesterday -- Donald Trump shirt and everything. I think the scumbag left a slime trail behind him.

by Dharma Midget April 18, 2018

Sriracha moustache

The result of sex with a menstruating woman, then wiping your penis on her face.

"Dude, your sister's a freak. She asked me to give her a sriracha moustache. I had to look it up. I mean, I did it, but still..."

by Dharma Midget March 8, 2017

trump

The explosive backflow from a clogged toilet. An uncontrolled river of shit.

I shit liquid fire after three stright Chipotle meals. My shitter did a trump on me like I'd never seen -- I was covered in runny pseudo-Mexican seconds all day.

by Dharma Midget December 7, 2016

Mormon hole

Any hole, crack, fold, or flap on a woman's body other than her vagina. Since premarital sex is forbidden for Joseph Smith sycophants, they will often use the rationalization that only penis + vagina = sex, and anything else is fair game.

Betty didn't want to upset Baby Jesus, so she would only let her boyfriend put his penis a Mormon hole -- he liked her mouth and armpit best.

by Dharma Midget May 8, 2017

egg swap

Sharing semen, usually by spitting it from one mouth to another. So named for the raw egg texture of a load of cum.

I don't know how to feel about my girlfriend -- she wants to egg swap after I fuck her in the ass and go shrimpin'.

by Dharma Midget October 20, 2016

Trumpish

To be so painfully stupid that you deny the facts literally right in front of your face, even when your entire life may be at stake.

The so-called "president" is so Trumpish, a new word was invented to quantify his legendary stupidity.

by Dharma Midget November 1, 2017