D.S. Credito's definitions

real job

steady employment with fixed salary and working hours, as well as potential for growth and advancement. Having a real job may mean working in a field that is incompatible with partying, taking drugs, or assuming an otherwise unconventional lifestyle.

People with so-called real jobs might enjoy high salaries, but what they trade off is the chance to experiment and discover what they truly want out of life.

by D.S. Credito March 5, 2015

never-was

a person who has not achieved success or fame, despite considerable effort. Unlike a has-been, who at least had once enjoyed noteworthy stature, a never-was simply fails to become prominent. Normally refers to a person unsuccessful in athletics, the entertainment industry, or other creative arts.

Plural - never-weres

Although he'd written a few catchy songs in his heyday, he attracted little fanfare and hung up his guitar after deciding that in the world of music, he hadn't been destined to become anything more than a never-was.

by D.S. Credito February 21, 2015

college

where dreamers can go to secure a plan B for their future employment prospects

Jenny always wanted to be a singer-songwriter, but her parents persuaded her to choose English as a college major, for a fallback plan. She later married a 1950s-style brute who orders her to edit all of his work-related documents and to have dinner on the table by five every night. Life can be so tragic sometimes.

by D.S. Credito March 5, 2015

ballad salad

an album or other compilation of overly sentimental or romantic songs.

Once upon a time, Aerosmith was a real hard rock band. But since the 1990s, they've just been putting out album after album of ballad salads.

by D.S. Credito March 12, 2015

asslicker

1. an admirer of someone in a (more) powerful position.

2. an extreme supporter who gives attention and affection to a person who is already on a pedestal or otherwise popular.

They protest the government when Obama is in office, but when it was Bush in the White House, the Tea Partiers were some of the government's most dedicated asslickers.

by D.S. Credito March 4, 2015

Conjabi

1. a potentially derogatory term describing a person from India or South Asia who is outspoken and uncompromising in conservative ideology

2. a word describing the vocabulary and speaking manner of a conservative or right winger whose origins are from the Asian sub-continent

3. Conjabi is a pun combining conservative or conjob with Punjab or Punjabi

On the subway, I overheard a man in a turban talking shit about President Obama. Man, what a conjabi!

Gov. Bobby Jindal was speaking Conjabi in his recent speech. It's like his mouth moves but I can't make out the words!

by D.S. Credito February 22, 2015

whoops

to flash or reveal an intimate body part under the pretense of an accident. Sometimes, whoopsing is done with the intention to distract or to get someone's attention.

At the beach today, a woman in a bikini whoopsed a pilot flying over the ocean, flipping over her top as she waved.

Past tense - whoopsed

by D.S. Credito March 5, 2015