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Cunty Fresh Fanatic's definitions

cold cremator

A drum partly filled with sodium hydroxide (commonly called lye or caustic soda) and water, used to fully dissolve a human body over a period of several days. Favored by organized crime, warlords and serial killers, for body disposal.
criminal 1: Why you got all of these drums in your garage?

criminal 2: Those are my cold cremators. I dissolve potential snitches and bitchy girlfriends in them.

criminal 1: Cool!
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 16, 2010
mugGet the cold crematormug.

muddy hazleton

A style of coprophilic mutual masturbation, in which a man stimulates a woman's genitals, while she defecates. He catches the falling feces on his junk, and she uses it as lubricant to masturbate him.
man: Damn this muddy hazleton, sure is kinky.

woman: Can't do nothing about the smell.

man: No. I said 'kinky', not "stinky". Too much blood is rushing into your head.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 28, 2010
mugGet the muddy hazletonmug.

Star Whackers

1. The secret society of lawyers, movie critics and chiropractors that actor Randy Quaid and his plain Jane wife, allege are after them. 2. A series of Stars Wars themed Bukkake films.
1. "We are refugees in Canada... The Star Whackers want to kill us... They killed Heath Ledger and David Carradine."
-- Randy Quaid rambling to some reporter in Canada.

2.

some perv: Star Whackers is the only porn film to truly capture George Lucas's Star Wars.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 2, 2010
mugGet the Star Whackersmug.

Pennsylabama Valentine

When a son gets caught masturbating by his mother, but he doesn't stop. Instead he calls her over, and she complies.
Billy Ray: I pulled the ol' Pennsylabama Valentine.

Joe Bob: You sho' is one slick fella, Billy Ray.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 22, 2010
mugGet the Pennsylabama Valentinemug.

you can't shine shit

The subject of conversation, is in such dire condition that any attempt to fix it is futile. A variation of the expression you can't polish a turd.
delusional mayor: The Chamber of Commerce and I will revitalize downtown Hazleton.

honest person: You can't shine shit, Mr. Mayor!
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic December 1, 2010
mugGet the you can't shine shitmug.

Bill Maher Head Slam

A hypothetical sex act purportedly invented by comedian/orator/cunt addict Bill Maher, in which prostaglandins (vaginal dilators) are administered to a woman, while a man wearing a nasal respirator (to allow use of mouth) shoves his head into the dilated vagina, and orally stimulates the Gräfenburg Spot (G-spot) until the woman orgasms. Comedienne/actress Sarah Silverman is allegedly the first woman to have received the first Bill Maher Head Slam, thus no prostaglandins would have been needed. No proof yet exists of it ever happening, and shouldn't be preformed without a licensed obstetrician or Bill Maher present.
conservative man: What would you like me to do honey.

liberal woman: I want a Bill Maher Head Slam. (Woman explains the sex act.)

conservative man: Aww sick! I'll just give you a rim job, I'm still a recovering homosexual. This transition is rough enough.

(Lame sex ensues. Nobody cums.)
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 14, 2010
mugGet the Bill Maher Head Slammug.

over the mullet

redneck: Whatcha mean I can't buy an atomic bomb, at Walmart. Sounds un-constituent-tutorial to me! You ever heard of the Second Commandment?

Walmart associate 1: We don't carry them, but I heard you can get them for dirt cheap at the local army/navy store. They'll even throw in a box of MREs.

redneck: Dank you sir. I must go git me an A-bomb.

(redneck leaves)

Walmart associate 2: That went over the mullet, good. Just like Obama's birth certificate.
by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 17, 2010
mugGet the over the mulletmug.

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