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Carl Willis's definitions

shamrocked

Adj. Fucked; hosed; screwed. To have been dealt a low blow by someone. To be "shamrocked" is to be in very dire circumstances indeed, cf. shamrock.

(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)
Dave talked trash to the wrong folks, and now his ass is shamrocked.

If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"

Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.
by Carl Willis April 27, 2004
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jack in the box

n. West-coast fast food chain. Your one-stop shop for E. coli and salmonella.
I ate at Jack In The Box for lunch, and an hour later, the highly caustic diarrhea had already melted my colon.
by Carl Willis July 23, 2006
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dear leader

Proper noun. Personal epithet associated with either of two autocratic heads-of-state: Kim Jong-Il (N. Korea) or George W. Bush (United States).
"The Dear Leader spoke to the assembled farmworkers today, thanking them for being the pillars of this great and prosperous nation and exhorting them to even greater achievements, on pain of death by firing squad."

"Colbert spared no mercy for the tender feelings of the Dear Leader at the White House Press Corps dinner, but miraculously he has not yet been put to death by firing squad."
by Carl Willis June 11, 2006
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penis extension

n. Colloquialism referring to the Hummer H2 SUV. It is an established fact that feelings of inadequacy contribute to the purchasing, driving, and flaunting of one's Hummer.
Brad W., a 24-year-old jock who has trouble charming the ladies with his drunken partying, got his dad to buy him a brand-new yellow and chrome penis extension from the local GM dealer. Way to go Brad.
by Carl Willis July 26, 2004
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prawnage

1. n. The state or condition of having complete mastery over another person, as in a game of skill; ownage.

2. interj. An taunting proclamation of dominance or victory typically observed only in written form in online computer games.

Prawnage is a derivative of ownage. It is synonymous with the following forms:
pwnage (pronounced "pawnage");
pawnage;
pzzawnage;
PzZ4wN463.
1. That BFG was teh prawnage LOL!


2.
>> n00bsh0p was exploded by BoDyBaGgEr's grenade.
>> 1337KILLA was exploded by BoDyBaGgEr's grenade.

BoDyBaGgEr: Prawnage!!
by Carl Willis May 5, 2004
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check your neck

A warning that you are acting suspiciously like a redneck, and that with a little critical self-evaluation you might save yourself some embarrassment. For instance, if you have always been an alright guy but find yourself coming down with a NASCAR-watching habit and are voting for evangelical Republicans, it's high time to "check your neck."
You: "Supper tonight is o-possum with gravy and freedom fries. Praise Jesus."

Me: "'Freedom fries?' 'o-possum?' Uh, I think you need to check your neck there Bubba!"
by Carl Willis January 18, 2005
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turd in the punch bowl

n. A person who spoils a pleasant social situation.

This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.

The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
The turd in the punch bowl was Brian, who had to go rat out our awesome senior prank idea to the principal.
by Carl Willis March 2, 2011
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