Carl Willis's definitions
Proper noun. Personal epithet associated with either of two autocratic heads-of-state: Kim Jong-Il (N. Korea) or George W. Bush (United States).
"The Dear Leader spoke to the assembled farmworkers today, thanking them for being the pillars of this great and prosperous nation and exhorting them to even greater achievements, on pain of death by firing squad."
"Colbert spared no mercy for the tender feelings of the Dear Leader at the White House Press Corps dinner, but miraculously he has not yet been put to death by firing squad."
"Colbert spared no mercy for the tender feelings of the Dear Leader at the White House Press Corps dinner, but miraculously he has not yet been put to death by firing squad."
by Carl Willis June 11, 2006
Get the dear leadermug. adj. Euphemism applying to persons who have a handicap, particularly a behavioral or mental inadequacy. Can be found in the phrase "differently abled," which means (let's face it), "disabled." To be "different" in the most widely-used sense of the term is a bad thing; it means you are retarded. Cf. special, short bus.
Kid: Bobby is incredibly stupid and clumsy, Mr. Mackey.
School Counselor: Son, let's not think those bad thoughts! Bobby is...different. He's just a little "differently abled" from you or I, m'kay? We can't use our language to take water out of his bucket.
Kid: You mean to say he is retarded and rides the short bus.
Counselor: Now, "retarded" is a word that they used back in Germany in the 1930's, but we have moved past that now haven't we...
School Counselor: Son, let's not think those bad thoughts! Bobby is...different. He's just a little "differently abled" from you or I, m'kay? We can't use our language to take water out of his bucket.
Kid: You mean to say he is retarded and rides the short bus.
Counselor: Now, "retarded" is a word that they used back in Germany in the 1930's, but we have moved past that now haven't we...
by Carl Willis August 25, 2004
Get the differentmug. n. One's father.
DaLonte, whatup holmes! I saw yo pops be hustlin' crack up on Fifth and Lee, so he musta got his ass paroled or somethin'.
You gonna hafta take dat shit up wif Pops, 'cause girl, I sho-as-hell don't give a damn!
You gonna hafta take dat shit up wif Pops, 'cause girl, I sho-as-hell don't give a damn!
by Carl Willis April 30, 2004
Get the popsmug. n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.
Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.
"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"
Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"
Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
Get the ETSmug. n. A resident of the United States of America. (See also "Amurka").
However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
The Amurkins' Oath:
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
by Carl Willis September 22, 2006
Get the amurkinmug. Adj. Fucked; hosed; screwed. To have been dealt a low blow by someone. To be "shamrocked" is to be in very dire circumstances indeed, cf. shamrock.
(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)
(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)
Dave talked trash to the wrong folks, and now his ass is shamrocked.
If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"
Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.
If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"
Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.
by Carl Willis April 27, 2004
Get the shamrockedmug. I ate at Jack In The Box for lunch, and an hour later, the highly caustic diarrhea had already melted my colon.
by Carl Willis July 23, 2006
Get the jack in the boxmug.