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Carl Willis's definitions

skateboarding is not a crime

n. The urban skater's one-line manifesto. Frequently heard blurted out by skateboarding juveniles arrested for vandalism by means of a skateboard, truancy, or marijuana use.

Strictly speaking, the act of personal locomotion on a four-wheeled board is not a crime in any jurisdiction in the United States. However, many cities have outlawed skateboarding on public edifices because it results in destructive grinding and causes injuries, the costs for both of which are borne by the taxpayer.

Furthermore, the culture associated with skateboarding youth is widely held to be a celebration of delinquency: marijuana use, rebellion against authority, truancy, and other problems are known to be prevalent in these juvenile populations. While this is no reason to discriminate against skateboarding in general, it sure doesn't help the image of the activity in the public's eye.
(A boy, about 12 years of age, with long bleached hair and extremely wide corduroy flare pants, is recklessly grinding his way down the outdoor staircase in front of Town Hall on a skateboard.)

Police Officer: "Young man, did I just see you skating down that marble staircase?"

Boy: (stares sullenly at ground) "Skateboarding is not a crime."

Officer: "Take those headphones off while I'm talking to you. Now what does that sign say right there?"

Sign: "Skateboarding on Town Hall property is subject to max. fine of $250 or 90 days in jail by order of City Rev. Code 08-2776."

Boy (fidgeting): "I dunno. Skateboarding is not a crime."

Officer: "And what's this? Did I just see a dime bag fall out of your pocket?"

Boy (crying): "Skateboarding is not a crime."
by Carl Willis October 12, 2004
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doin' they thang

Going about their personal business.
Antwaine and Shamiqua is doin' they own thang tonight, know'um sayin'?

Darnell and his krew be all chillin' at the mall, just doin' they thang, not mussin' with nobody...and the po-po done shook 'em all down fo crack with no "provokations" or nuthin! Why they got to steal a playa's rocks like that, man?? They was just doin' they thang, man.
by Carl Willis February 10, 2004
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redneck truck

n. A large American pickup truck owned and driven by an ignorant male redneck. Such a truck will have one or more of the following characteristics:

(1) Is used primarily for general personal transportation and not for heavy hauling.

(2) Equipped with a gun rack

(3) Bears red-white-blue ribbon stickers, yellow "God Bless the Troops" ribbon stickers, Confederate battle flag stickers, pissing Calvin, or other stickers such as "God Bless America," the NRA, George W. Bush, "Death to Faggots, Ragheads" and similar Christian themes, etc. May be adorned with a Jesus fish, although this symbol is more frequently associated with the soccer mom's minivan or SUV.

(4) Driven aggressively and in a manner overtly hostile to non-redneck vehicles.

(5) Equipped with prominent CB antennas or, increasingly, amateur radio antennas.

(6) Is the redneck's most prized possession, after his woman. Even his home has lesser personal and monetary value. The 'neck will take great pains to wash and wax his truck.

(7) Psychologists agree that perceived penile inadequacy motivates the purchasing and flaunting of this truck. The driver often seeks to affirm his masculinity by driving the gas-guzzling vehicle as often as possible and frequently with no particular reason.
Every morning, Joe drove his redneck truck to work at the peanut factory, and every evening, Joe drove his redneck truck to night school where he was finishing his GED. Every Sunday, Joe drove himself and Winnie-Mae in the redneck truck to the First Baptist Church and in the evening to the KKK barbeque.
by Carl Willis September 4, 2005
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ghettify

v. (from ghetto)

1. To allow or promote degeneration of a community, through the efflux of the middle class and legitimate business and the influx of a culture of poverty, crime, low ambition, shiftlessness, and bling. Opposite of "gentrify."

2. To modify a possession such as a car or sound system to reflect the styles of the aforementioned "ghetto culture."
1. "By 1972, the Crips had thoroughly ghettified Compton and all vestiges of the working population had fled west."

2. Shameel proceeded to ghettify his Honda Civic, adding platinum rims, a spoiler, a 500-watt subwoofer, and a custom paint job done by his dawg Kumar in exchange for "summa dat white stuff".
by Carl Willis February 12, 2005
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different

adj. Euphemism applying to persons who have a handicap, particularly a behavioral or mental inadequacy. Can be found in the phrase "differently abled," which means (let's face it), "disabled." To be "different" in the most widely-used sense of the term is a bad thing; it means you are retarded. Cf. special, short bus.
Kid: Bobby is incredibly stupid and clumsy, Mr. Mackey.

School Counselor: Son, let's not think those bad thoughts! Bobby is...different. He's just a little "differently abled" from you or I, m'kay? We can't use our language to take water out of his bucket.

Kid: You mean to say he is retarded and rides the short bus.

Counselor: Now, "retarded" is a word that they used back in Germany in the 1930's, but we have moved past that now haven't we...
by Carl Willis August 25, 2004
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bunit

n. Business. ("Ebonified" form of the word)
Jamal gots him some bunit to take care of, what wif all dat crack an' 'hos he deals in!

Ain't none a yo bunit, muthafucka!
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
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bone bag

n. A male condom, aka, a jimmy hat.
He gave LaTonya the real package, straight up--no bone bag or nuthin'.
by Carl Willis August 9, 2004
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