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Carl Willis's definitions

the nips

n. (Can be disparaging) The Japanese.

The term's origin was in World War II, when it was often used by Americans in the context of decrying the perceived treachery, cunning, and craziness of the Japanese.
Joe: "Did you know that in Japan, you can buy a 14-year-old's used panties from a vending machine?"

Bob: "Those crazy nips."
by Carl Willis August 25, 2004
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Tollbooth on the highway of education

n. Popular and well-earned nickname for the ETS (Educational Testing Service), who produces and sells the GRE and SAT assessment tests. This parasite hauls in more than $0.6 billion in student money every year from its illegal monopoly on the testing market.
Every high school and college student in the country has to throw some big cash to ETS, the tollbooth on the highway of education. If a student doesn't pay his toll, he is usually shitcanned and forced to slave away at a McJob for the rest of his life.
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
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wendy's

n. Fast food chain which cooks up a damn tasty bowl of chili.

If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.
Cashier: Hello, welcome to Wendy's, what can we get for you?

Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?
by Carl Willis March 27, 2005
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different

adj. Euphemism applying to persons who have a handicap, particularly a behavioral or mental inadequacy. Can be found in the phrase "differently abled," which means (let's face it), "disabled." To be "different" in the most widely-used sense of the term is a bad thing; it means you are retarded. Cf. special, short bus.
Kid: Bobby is incredibly stupid and clumsy, Mr. Mackey.

School Counselor: Son, let's not think those bad thoughts! Bobby is...different. He's just a little "differently abled" from you or I, m'kay? We can't use our language to take water out of his bucket.

Kid: You mean to say he is retarded and rides the short bus.

Counselor: Now, "retarded" is a word that they used back in Germany in the 1930's, but we have moved past that now haven't we...
by Carl Willis August 25, 2004
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shamrock

Verb.

(1) To screw someone over; scam.

(2) To inflict severe injury upon someone as leverage to facilitate the extortion of money.

"Shamrock" is most frequently encountered in the passive, as in, "you have been shamrocked." (Origin: Shamrock Towing, a notoriously unethical business in the greater Columbus, Ohio area, ca. 1957)
(1) After paying $115 for the predatory towing of his car, Willis figured out he'd been shamrocked and called an attorney.

(2) "You didn't pay Vinnie your protection this month?! Buddy, you are sooo shamrocked!"
by Carl Willis April 27, 2004
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bone bag

n. A male condom, aka, a jimmy hat.
He gave LaTonya the real package, straight up--no bone bag or nuthin'.
by Carl Willis August 9, 2004
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shamrocked

Adj. Fucked; hosed; screwed. To have been dealt a low blow by someone. To be "shamrocked" is to be in very dire circumstances indeed, cf. shamrock.

(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)
Dave talked trash to the wrong folks, and now his ass is shamrocked.

If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"

Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.
by Carl Willis April 27, 2004
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