Carl Willis's definitions
adj. Euphemism for having a disability, esp. a behavioral or mental disability; low-functioning mental retardation in particular. Synonyms: different, feeble-minded, retarded.
1. Williams earned her M.Ed. at OSU, where she specialized in Special Education.
2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."
3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"
2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."
3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"
by Carl Willis February 2, 2004
Get the special mug.n. (1. Non-urban) A roll of two dice in which both show 1.
(2. Urban) The number 1.1, esp. an academic GPA of 1.1
(2. Urban) The number 1.1, esp. an academic GPA of 1.1
Yolanda: 'Sup Dashante, how's yo midterms lookin'?
Dashante: Not too good, baby. I'm rollin' snake eyes!
Dashante: Not too good, baby. I'm rollin' snake eyes!
by Carl Willis January 27, 2004
Get the snake eyes mug."According to Donald Rumsfeld, the gas chambers and crematoria needed for the Guantanamo facility will be constructed by Halliburton Corporation, which won the no-bid contract yesterday. In other news, the State Department is requiring all persons of the Muslim faith to report to the nearest Amtrak station tomorrow at noon for relocation...I'm Shea Stevens and this is NPR News."
by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
Get the guantanamo mug.(Proper noun / registered trademark) Music TeleVision for Universities. Insufferable pop trash and advertisement network that relentlessly targets the college student audience. MTVU especially tries to cultivate a loyal following from the Spring-Break Party Animals and Trendy Airheads, both of whom comprise the vast majority of the college demographic these days. The whole point of MTVU is to make money, of course. By negotiating contracts to have their inane audiovisual sewage piped into college cafeterias and similar public places on campus, MTVU hopes to brainwash its captive audience into a bunch of pop-culture-crazed, money-spending zombies.
Please see a mental health professional if you are regularly exposed to MTVU at school.
Please see a mental health professional if you are regularly exposed to MTVU at school.
After a year of exposure to MTVU, Derek gave up studying, threw away his bluegrass records and replaced them with 50 Cent, went on a month-long drunken spring break in Cancun, became a bitch for Abercrombie, started dating promiscuous airheaded cheerleaders, bought a Hummer with his parents' money, and entered the wasted brotherhood of Sigma Upsilon Kappa. In short...they won his soul.
by Carl Willis November 9, 2004
Get the mtvu mug.A warning that you are acting suspiciously like a redneck, and that with a little critical self-evaluation you might save yourself some embarrassment. For instance, if you have always been an alright guy but find yourself coming down with a NASCAR-watching habit and are voting for evangelical Republicans, it's high time to "check your neck."
You: "Supper tonight is o-possum with gravy and freedom fries. Praise Jesus."
Me: "'Freedom fries?' 'o-possum?' Uh, I think you need to check your neck there Bubba!"
Me: "'Freedom fries?' 'o-possum?' Uh, I think you need to check your neck there Bubba!"
by Carl Willis January 18, 2005
Get the check your neck mug.n. A person who spoils a pleasant social situation.
This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.
The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.
The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
The turd in the punch bowl was Brian, who had to go rat out our awesome senior prank idea to the principal.
by Carl Willis March 2, 2011
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1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction.
2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation).
3. To delete a computer user's accounts without warning, typically for abuse.
1. To attack with a nuclear weapon, or to otherwise bring about widespread and utter destruction.
2. To cook a foodstuff in a microwave oven (it is a common misconception that microwave energy is a form of nuclear radiation).
3. To delete a computer user's accounts without warning, typically for abuse.
1. After years of patent hostility, US Emperor-For-Life George Bush finally nuked France in 2020, resulting in the formation of the "Freedom Sea".
2. "Just nuke those vegetables for five minutes on High, it's much quicker than steaming them."
3. The webhosting company nuked Jamal's "penile enhancement" sites because he was caught spamming.
2. "Just nuke those vegetables for five minutes on High, it's much quicker than steaming them."
3. The webhosting company nuked Jamal's "penile enhancement" sites because he was caught spamming.
by Carl Willis March 12, 2005
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