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Carl Willis's definitions

special

adj. Euphemism for having a disability, esp. a behavioral or mental disability; low-functioning mental retardation in particular. Synonyms: different, feeble-minded, retarded.
1. Williams earned her M.Ed. at OSU, where she specialized in Special Education.

2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."

3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"
by Carl Willis February 2, 2004
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guantanamo

n. (Guantanamo Bay) Location in Cuba of a death camp run by the United States.
"According to Donald Rumsfeld, the gas chambers and crematoria needed for the Guantanamo facility will be constructed by Halliburton Corporation, which won the no-bid contract yesterday. In other news, the State Department is requiring all persons of the Muslim faith to report to the nearest Amtrak station tomorrow at noon for relocation...I'm Shea Stevens and this is NPR News."
by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
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ETS

n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.
Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.

"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"

Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
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briznitch

n. A prostitute with an attitude.

The term is derived from "brizzle" and "biznitch", where "brizzle" = "br(oad)" + "izzle" and "biznitch" = "bitch". Snoop Dogg's influence on language is very evident in this word.
"Nigga went down to EZ Lay's Cathouse fo a little somethin-somethin, you know, but all they got up in that piece is a bunch of nasty briznitches".
by Carl Willis February 20, 2005
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thunderbolt

Out at the state pen at midnight, Big Willie's gonna ride the thunderbolt.
by Carl Willis December 1, 2004
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Tollbooth on the highway of education

n. Popular and well-earned nickname for the ETS (Educational Testing Service), who produces and sells the GRE and SAT assessment tests. This parasite hauls in more than $0.6 billion in student money every year from its illegal monopoly on the testing market.
Every high school and college student in the country has to throw some big cash to ETS, the tollbooth on the highway of education. If a student doesn't pay his toll, he is usually shitcanned and forced to slave away at a McJob for the rest of his life.
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
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wingnut

n. An outspoken, irrational person with deeply-held, nominally conservative, political views. A person who chooses on principle to be flagrantly ignorant. A "right-wing nut".
Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Fred Phelps are examples of the wingnut element in modern America.
by Carl Willis February 18, 2006
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