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Carl Willis's definitions

noobshop

n. A chatroom or online game server populated with inexperienced and / or juvenile members. The term is pejorative. See also noob.
b3dw3tt3r >> we are so gonna hack the FBI tomorrow nite....come chek out my IRC channel #1337ha><0rz !11

o|-|CoRdYcEpS >> That's it, I'm outta here. What a fucking noobshop! Get a life u n00bs!
by Carl Willis April 3, 2005
mugGet the noobshopmug.

Shabbos

n. Saturday is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. On this day, one apparently does not work, get in a car, fucking ride in a car, pick up the phone, turn on the oven, or partake in the game of bowling, among other things.
"I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times I don't roll on Shabbos!" --Walter Sobchak (The Big Lebowski)
by Carl Willis July 20, 2006
mugGet the Shabbosmug.

gallows bird

n. A defendant who is certain to be condemned to death with no chance of pardon or reprieve.
"Down here in Macomb, Alabama, we knowed that nigra-boy Tom Robinson was a gallows bird 'fore the trial even got started."




(Two lawyers at lunch)
Lawyer #1: Let's see, we have Alan Lee Davis for kidnapping and murder first degree, LaShawndra Simmons for distributing crack rock, and BraNell Wallace for grand theft of some rims, apparently.

Lawyer #2: We shouldn't take Davis. Let's be honest--he's a gallows bird. Folks hate him and the DA has an open-and-shut case.
by Carl Willis December 2, 2004
mugGet the gallows birdmug.

penis extension

n. Colloquialism referring to the Hummer H2 SUV. It is an established fact that feelings of inadequacy contribute to the purchasing, driving, and flaunting of one's Hummer.
Brad W., a 24-year-old jock who has trouble charming the ladies with his drunken partying, got his dad to buy him a brand-new yellow and chrome penis extension from the local GM dealer. Way to go Brad.
by Carl Willis July 26, 2004
mugGet the penis extensionmug.

get hot

"You guys haven't started the project yet? Better get hot, biotches!"
by Carl Willis October 17, 2004
mugGet the get hotmug.

wendy's

n. Fast food chain which cooks up a damn tasty bowl of chili.

If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.
Cashier: Hello, welcome to Wendy's, what can we get for you?

Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?
by Carl Willis March 27, 2005
mugGet the wendy'smug.

creation science

n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.

Some key tenets of Creation Science:

--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.

--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).

--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)

Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?

Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...

Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
by Carl Willis December 14, 2004
mugGet the creation sciencemug.

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