Carl Willis's definitions
n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.
Some key tenets of Creation Science:
--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.
--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).
--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)
Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Some key tenets of Creation Science:
--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.
--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).
--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)
Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?
Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...
Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...
Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
by Carl Willis December 14, 2004
Get the creation science mug.n. Fast food chain which cooks up a damn tasty bowl of chili.
If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.
If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.
Cashier: Hello, welcome to Wendy's, what can we get for you?
Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?
Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?
by Carl Willis March 27, 2005
Get the wendy's mug.n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.
Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.
"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"
Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"
Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
Get the ETS mug.Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!
by Carl Willis August 24, 2004
Get the packing mug.n. A fine effort. This phrase is in the vocabulary of most (if not all) school PE coaches and is commonly used to compliment a player or team for acceptable performance.
by Carl Willis February 6, 2005
Get the good hustle mug.adj. Euphemism for having a disability, esp. a behavioral or mental disability; low-functioning mental retardation in particular. Synonyms: different, feeble-minded, retarded.
1. Williams earned her M.Ed. at OSU, where she specialized in Special Education.
2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."
3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"
2. "Contenstants in all Special Olympics events must pass the mandatory drug test and must flunk the Wechsler standard IQ test."
3. "Look at all those Special Needs Children on that short bus, Billy. If you can't learn your alphabet, they'll hold you back. And if they hold you back, you'll be riding that short bus with all those very very special children next year! How would you like that!?"
by Carl Willis February 2, 2004
Get the special mug.n. Nickname for the electric chair.
by Carl Willis December 1, 2004
Get the thunderbolt mug.