Carl Willis's definitions
n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.
Some key tenets of Creation Science:
--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.
--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).
--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)
Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Some key tenets of Creation Science:
--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.
--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).
--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)
Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?
Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...
Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...
Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
by Carl Willis December 14, 2004
Get the creation sciencemug. Verb.
(1) To screw someone over; scam.
(2) To inflict severe injury upon someone as leverage to facilitate the extortion of money.
"Shamrock" is most frequently encountered in the passive, as in, "you have been shamrocked." (Origin: Shamrock Towing, a notoriously unethical business in the greater Columbus, Ohio area, ca. 1957)
(1) To screw someone over; scam.
(2) To inflict severe injury upon someone as leverage to facilitate the extortion of money.
"Shamrock" is most frequently encountered in the passive, as in, "you have been shamrocked." (Origin: Shamrock Towing, a notoriously unethical business in the greater Columbus, Ohio area, ca. 1957)
(1) After paying $115 for the predatory towing of his car, Willis figured out he'd been shamrocked and called an attorney.
(2) "You didn't pay Vinnie your protection this month?! Buddy, you are sooo shamrocked!"
(2) "You didn't pay Vinnie your protection this month?! Buddy, you are sooo shamrocked!"
by Carl Willis April 27, 2004
Get the shamrockmug. by Carl Willis August 9, 2004
Get the bone bagmug. Any alcoholic beverage, the consumption of which is supposed to clear up one's hangover from previous drinking (but will tend to have the opposite effect in reality). Origins of the phrase date back to medieval times, when hairs from a biting dog were put in the bite wound in the belief that this promoted healing.
Lloyd: What will you be drinking, sir?
Jack: Hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.
Lloyd: Bourbon on the rocks?
Jack: That'll do it.
Jack: Hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.
Lloyd: Bourbon on the rocks?
Jack: That'll do it.
by Carl Willis January 7, 2006
Get the hair of the dog that bit memug. n. Pejorative term for persons of the Caucasian race, purportedly in use among Asians. Refers to the racial difference in facial musculature that gives the eyes of Asians a more "squinty" aspect ratio than those of Caucasians. According to the stereotype, the roundeye is unintelligent, uneducated, and lazy.
by Carl Willis May 17, 2006
Get the roundeyemug. "According to Donald Rumsfeld, the gas chambers and crematoria needed for the Guantanamo facility will be constructed by Halliburton Corporation, which won the no-bid contract yesterday. In other news, the State Department is requiring all persons of the Muslim faith to report to the nearest Amtrak station tomorrow at noon for relocation...I'm Shea Stevens and this is NPR News."
by Carl Willis August 29, 2005
Get the guantanamomug. n. A prostitute with an attitude.
The term is derived from "brizzle" and "biznitch", where "brizzle" = "br(oad)" + "izzle" and "biznitch" = "bitch". Snoop Dogg's influence on language is very evident in this word.
The term is derived from "brizzle" and "biznitch", where "brizzle" = "br(oad)" + "izzle" and "biznitch" = "bitch". Snoop Dogg's influence on language is very evident in this word.
"Nigga went down to EZ Lay's Cathouse fo a little somethin-somethin, you know, but all they got up in that piece is a bunch of nasty briznitches".
by Carl Willis February 20, 2005
Get the briznitchmug.