BillieJeanIsNotMyLover's definitions

squirreled

to be dragged by one’s nutsack.

23M looking to get squirreled by a sugar daddy (grab my nuts)

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 15, 2019

zoned-out

when you’re thinking about something, and it makes you forget to talk.

Mouth open, he zoned-out to think about bonobos as his bitch of a wife continued to whine about the croutons at the salad bar at the restaurant that SHE chose on YOUR birthday.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 15, 2019

Texas Hold ‘Em

The superior form of poker: each player is dealt 2 cards, face down. A round of betting ensues. Then 3 cards are dealt in the middle of the table, face up. Bet. Another card in the middle. Bet. Again. Bet. Your hand is not required to include the initial facedown cards and standard poker rules apply.

If a winner fails to shout “yee-haw” before grabbing her chips, she mist shout 5 “the starts at night are big and bright,” each followed by 5 short claps of the hands and a joyous “DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!”

Anyone who forgets the Alamo must be shot.

Let’s play Texas Hold ‘Em

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 16, 2019

antisong

A song by a skilled musician trying to make a bad song. The result is a song so bad that it must be genius.

Not to be confused with camp (accidentally bad; ironically good) or parody (a mockery of a good song).

The Rick Roll song is camp.

“Amish Paradise” is a parody song.

“Old Town Road” is an antisong (because only a genius could have made it).

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 16, 2019

tough old bird

An elderly woman who’s got some fight in her.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a tough old bird.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 24, 2019

Forgetting the Alamo

a crime in the State of Texas that is punishable by branding of the Alamo into the ass of the condemned (lest he forget the Alamo again).

Judge, I will actually suck your dick if you let me off with probation for forgetting the Alamo. It’ll never happen again!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 31, 2019

Zonked

(Adjective) Usually caused by drug use, it’s when you’re not sleepwalking but not fully awake either. You’re awake, but you’re acting as if you had no agency and things only happen to you. But also you’re not like a zombie.

You’re just ZONKED

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover March 23, 2019