Definitions by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover

Gender Studies

An academic field created out of thin air and built on a foundation of bullshit. It recruits unsocialized, lesbian undergraduates and teaches them the proper technique for blaming all of their real and imaginary problems on a hypothetical, ancient, patriarchal conspiracy.

Gender Studies should be a fascinating subject but it’s only studied by insane people.

Gender Studies by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover March 23, 2019

Buying Cigarettes 

Leaving your family forever.

My daddy left, said he was "buying cigarettes." That was 7 years ago.

Buying Cigarettes by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover August 7, 2018

Russian Judge 

A Russian Judge is someone who plays favorites under the pretense of objectivity.

Comes from the communist-block winter olympic judges during late Cold War who gave tens in figure-skating to communists and sixes to capitalists.

After the skater from Belarus' fatal fall during her tripple-axel, the Russian Judge proudly awarded a 10.

Russian Judge by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 26, 2018

Tricks 

A trick is what whores do for money.

Not to be confused with illusion

They're not tricks, Michael! They're illusions!

Tricks by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 26, 2018

grassy knoll

The greatest knoll you'll ever know.

"What a nice grassy knoll you have here, Governor Connally."

grassy knoll by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 25, 2018

Grandpa Joe 

Someone who fakes polio until there's something better to do.

Also, a character from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who was bed-ridden until his grandson won a trip to a slave-run chocolate underworld.

My girlfriend is a Grandpa Joe because she plays sick whenever I want to have sex.

Grandpa Joe by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 25, 2018

Reason 

A justification to yourself for a bad decision.

I want to get blackout on a Tuesday but I'll need a reason first. . .

Reason by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 25, 2018