The Constitution

A magical document that always agrees with you.

You can't charge $14 for movie popcorn because the Constitution says so!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018

ordering Chinese

When you make a delivery order for Chinese food and then you tell your man to fuck you. So he does, in the ass, on the living-room coffee table. Just as he’s balls-deep, the Uber Eats guy knocks on the door.

But it swings wide open (as if you left it ajar on purpose). Now he’s 7-feet away from you just staring. Slowly, he steps forward and asks with a real sexy voice:

Somebody order THIS DICK?!

Ordering Chinese later if you want some!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 09, 2019

diddly squat

diddly squat ain’t but nuthin’ at all

I had DIDDLY SQUAT to do with selling all that gay pornography to those terrorists!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover August 19, 2019

Bird Law

It's not the law of the land, but the law of the sky.

It's not against bird law to shit on your new car.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 13, 2018

Shall

A word that exists because "We Will Overcome" doesn't have the same ring to it.

By 'shall,' do you mean 'may' or 'will'?

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018

tough old bird

An elderly woman who’s got some fight in her.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a tough old bird.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 25, 2019

Grandpa Joe

Someone who fakes polio until there's something better to do.

Also, a character from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who was bed-ridden until his grandson won a trip to a slave-run chocolate underworld.

My girlfriend is a Grandpa Joe because she plays sick whenever I want to have sex.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018