BillieJeanIsNotMyLover's definitions

Forgetting the Alamo

a crime in the State of Texas that is punishable by branding of the Alamo into the ass of the condemned (lest he forget the Alamo again).

Judge, I will actually suck your dick if you let me off with probation for forgetting the Alamo. It’ll never happen again!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 31, 2019

zoned-out

when you’re thinking about something, and it makes you forget to talk.

Mouth open, he zoned-out to think about bonobos as his bitch of a wife continued to whine about the croutons at the salad bar at the restaurant that SHE chose on YOUR birthday.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 15, 2019

Wonderwall

(Verb) To wonderwall is to ruin a nice social event with mediocre guitar playing.

Any party that you wonderwall will be your last party.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 25, 2018

antisong

A song by a skilled musician trying to make a bad song. The result is a song so bad that it must be genius.

Not to be confused with camp (accidentally bad; ironically good) or parody (a mockery of a good song).

The Rick Roll song is camp.

“Amish Paradise” is a parody song.

“Old Town Road” is an antisong (because only a genius could have made it).

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 16, 2019

Grandpa Joe

Someone who fakes polio until there's something better to do.

Also, a character from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who was bed-ridden until his grandson won a trip to a slave-run chocolate underworld.

My girlfriend is a Grandpa Joe because she plays sick whenever I want to have sex.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover May 25, 2018

ordering Chinese

When you make a delivery order for Chinese food and then you tell your man to fuck you. So he does, in the ass, on the living-room coffee table. Just as he’s balls-deep, the Uber Eats guy knocks on the door.

But it swings wide open (as if you left it ajar on purpose). Now he’s 7-feet away from you just staring. Slowly, he steps forward and asks with a real sexy voice:

Somebody order THIS DICK?!

Ordering Chinese later if you want some!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 8, 2019

tough old bird

An elderly woman who’s got some fight in her.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a tough old bird.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 24, 2019