30 definition by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover

It's not the law of the land, but the law of the sky.

An academic field created out of thin air and built on a foundation of bullshit. It recruits unsocialized, lesbian undergraduates and teaches them the proper technique for blaming all of their real and imaginary problems on a hypothetical, ancient, patriarchal conspiracy.

When you make a delivery order for Chinese food and then you tell your man to fuck you. So he does, in the ass, on the living-room coffee table. Just as he’s balls-deep, the Uber Eats guy knocks on the door.

But it swings wide open (as if you left it ajar on purpose). Now he’s 7-feet away from you just staring. Slowly, he steps forward and asks with a real sexy voice:

Somebody order THIS DICK?!

Someone who fakes polio until there's something better to do.

Also, a character from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who was bed-ridden until his grandson won a trip to a slave-run chocolate underworld.

A justification to yourself for a bad decision.

Capitalism for “I love you.”

(Adjective) Usually caused by drug use, it’s when you’re not sleepwalking but not fully awake either. You’re awake, but you’re acting as if you had no agency and things only happen to you. But also you’re not like a zombie.