27 definitions by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover

Tricks

A trick is what whores do for money.

Not to be confused with illusion

They're not tricks, Michael! They're illusions!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 14, 2018

The Constitution

A magical document that always agrees with you.

You can't charge $14 for movie popcorn because the Constitution says so!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018

Shall

A word that exists because "We Will Overcome" doesn't have the same ring to it.

By 'shall,' do you mean 'may' or 'will'?

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018

tough old bird

An elderly woman who’s got some fight in her.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a tough old bird.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover July 25, 2019

ordering Chinese

When you make a delivery order for Chinese food and then you tell your man to fuck you. So he does, in the ass, on the living-room coffee table. Just as he’s balls-deep, the Uber Eats guy knocks on the door.

But it swings wide open (as if you left it ajar on purpose). Now he’s 7-feet away from you just staring. Slowly, he steps forward and asks with a real sexy voice:

Somebody order THIS DICK?!

Ordering Chinese later if you want some!

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 9, 2019

jazz

The greatest American invention.

It's about the notes you *don't* play.

A genre of music few white people can handle.

A revolutionary musical genre birthed in New Orleans in the early 20th Century by black. Jazz arose from the folk and spiritual music traditions of freed slaves in the Mississippi Delta, and is the patriarch of blues, R&B, Rock & Roll, and all contemporary popular music.

You hear a lot of Jazz around Christmastime

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 12, 2018

Wonderwall

(Verb) To wonderwall is to ruin a nice social event with mediocre guitar playing.

Any party that you wonderwall will be your last party.

by BillieJeanIsNotMyLover April 13, 2018