BOLU

When events conspire against you, and your only strategy is to survive and make arrangements for the forthcoming painful proceedings to be as seamless as possible.

BOLU --> Bend Over, Lube Up.
The client has come forward with last minute requirements... its a total BOLU.

How is your day?; A total BOLU.

What's the situation?; BOLU
by BigWill88 December 11, 2018
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schafernaker

When swearing at somebody behind their back,
Then when they turn around to look at you, pretending to do something else with your hands; such as scratching your face.

The very first person to do a schafernaker, was Thomas Schafernaker; BBC weatherman.

Whilst making rude gestures to the news reporter, camera flicks to him live, as soon as he realises he is on air, pulls an amazing schafernaker!!
I told Bob to stop messing around and do his work! When I turned round he Schafernaker'd me!!
by BigWill88 June 06, 2012
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Stoolpedo

When polishing a turd just won't do. You need to resort to wrapping it in cling-film to get the shinny glossyness.

Often you need to use enough cling-film to stop yourself getting shitty hands. The result is a Stoolpedo.
The designers work was a real turd. Luckily I managed turn it into a Stoolpedo.
by BigWill88 February 08, 2011
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On the Pond

Used to describe someone who is a faffer, a time waster, a procrastinator.

Derived from the term "Ducking around" derived from "Fucking about".

Someone who aimlessly wonderers around in circles, with no particular direction.
Perry: Where is Colin, he's late!
Will: He's still at home On the Pond.
by BigWill88 August 12, 2022
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Microflogging

The art of sharing every single thought in your brain on a social network.

Derived from 'Microblogging' and 'Flogging a dead horse',
Often occurs from not receiving enough attention from ones Peers.

The irony being the more they blog/flog the less attention they receive!
I've defriended, and Unfollowed Jules. He's just been microflogging! What a DBag!!
by BigWill88 May 18, 2012
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