Big Bad Mark's definitions

gayer than a bag of penises

Uber-gay. So gay your testosterone level drops just looking at it. Note that this phrase can be used to describe anything, either human or object, that is very gay-looking.

Person 1: So, what do you think of my new shirt?
Person 2: Nice colours. It's gayer than a bag of penises, dude.

Person A: Have you met the new guy? What's he like.
Person B: Pretty fruity, mate. He's gayer than a bag of penises.

by Big Bad Mark February 3, 2006

Lesbian

Basically, women who are attracted to women in a sexual way. Lesbians can be broken into two groups, the "good" type of lesbian, and the "bad" type of lesbian. The two groups are defined as follows:

1. The "good" sort of lesbians are the cute ones featured on websites around the world. Well-groomed and babelicious, these lesbians look fantastic smeared in baby oil, jelly, cream, etc, and don't view men as exploitative bastards who should all be castrated and then choked to death with their severed naughty bits.

2. The "bad" sort of lesbian, i.e. any chick who likes her vice versa and isn't prepared to put on some sort of floor show for the lads. Included in this group are the lesbians who would do a floor show if asked, but are never asked to do so because most guys don't want their eyeballs seared out of their heads by the sight of something resembling Jabba the Hut raping a walrus. Also belonging to this group is your average university feminist who is a lesbian not so much because she is attracted to women, but rather because she's so fucked up that she thinks that all men are just vicious animals who would rape you as soon as look at you. This group tend to have crew cuts and huge Doc Martin boots, and usually belong to some feminist/socialist/fruitcake organisation(s).

Person A: Man, I saw the cutest lesbian chicks on suicidegirls.com last night. They were the goods!
Person B: Better than the ones I saw in the bar last night. Man, I was feeling really intimidated until some Japanese guy harpooned them and dragged them outside.

Lesbian 1: Hey, let's do the decent thing and put on a floor show for those guys over there.
Lesbian 2: But we aren't very attractive...
Lesbian 1: That doesn't matter, I just want the attention.
Watching Guy: Argggghhhh! My eyes! My eyes!

Chick: Men are just sexist, exploitative pigs who have spent recorded history suppressing women.
Guy : I didn't know you were a lesbian.
Chick: That's because you're an insensitive asshole!
Guy : Any chance of a floor show?

by Big Bad Mark January 2, 2007

banged her like a cheap gong

To have had sex with someone. There are two connotations associated with this term; the first implies that the person with whom you had sex was cheap and/or easy, the second that the relationship was totally casual with no strings attached. In both cases it is understood that there was little or no emotional attachment or respect involved, and that the sex was hard and intense.

See also: bang

First Guy: Mate, did you see that chick I was with last night? Turned out she was pretty easy, so I took her home and banged her like a cheap gong!
Second Guy: You lucky, lucky bastard.

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Guy 1: Mate, see that chick over there? Talk about hot! I'd bang her like a cheap gong!
Guy 2: Dude, she's a hag. WTF have you been drinking?

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Male 1: Lucy was pretty drunk last night when I left the party.
Male 2: You're telling me! She was so hammered that she said she wanted sex, so I banged her like a cheap gong.

by Big Bad Mark June 27, 2006

Gamer's Eye

The really annoying unconscious twitching of the eyelid of either one or both eyes caused by heavy fatigue. It is not a painful condition, but the twitching does become very annoying over time. The only cure is regular deep sleep over a number of days. Called gamer's eye because so many gamers experience it after spending day after day sitting up until 2am playing Counter-Strike (or WOW, or some other game), then getting up at the usual time to attend work/school/college/etc.

Person 1: Man, I've been playing Counter-Strike for three days straight and now I've got the worst case of gamer's eye. Look closely, can you see my eyelid twitching?
Person 2: You are such a geek. You should switch to World of Warcraft; it kicks CS's ass!
Person 3: Dude, you know I can't play WOW; I'm heterosexual!

by Big Bad Mark May 4, 2006

life

A state of being created by a benevolent deity in order that man may experience the twin pleasures of beer and sex. Although it has been postulated that team sports and a good testicle-scratch constitute two of the pillars of life, the true meaning is in fact just beer and sex. Be advised, however, that it is not simply a matter of drinking as much beer and having as much sex as you can; these actions alone lead to spiritual imbalance and sundry unwholesome disorders of the body. The quality of the beer and the awesome-ness of the sex matter every bit as much as the acts themselves. Well it behooves you then to master the zen of a life of beer and sex. Be aware that many people never fully comprehend the simple purity of the way, as they stagger from one meaningless relationship to another, often sinking into a debased state in which wine, exotic cheeses, opera, and other devices of Satan are appreciated. What then, you ask, is the true path to righteousnous? What should man aspire to in life? The tao of beer and sex is explicit about this. Drink ye of good quality beer, that it's amber goodness may invigorate and pleasure you, and strive towards a relationship with a pair of bi-sexual women. Bi-sexual twins are the real jackpot, of course, and any man attaining this nirvana of relationships will be pointed out in the street and viewed with an almost religious awe by other men. In summary then, remember that the key to solving all of life's varied problems lies in the bottom of a glass, or looks smashing in a skimpy black evening dress.

Person 1: I feel lost and hopeless, adrift in a sea of depression.
Priest: Oh for goodness' sake, be a man. Find yourself a babelicious chick, get smashed, and do her and her sister.
Person 1: Wow! It's all so clear now...

Female: My Mum said that life is a bowl of roses.
Male : Your mother is an idiot. Now get naked and fetch me a beer...

by Big Bad Mark October 6, 2005

babelicious

A combination of the words "babe" and "delicious", where "babe" refers to a very attractive woman, and "delicious" refers to the fact that you'd be onto her like a lion onto a prairie dog if she gave you the slightest encouragement. Things that are babelicious include supermodels, certain singers/actresses (if you're thinking Britney or Madonna here go and wash your mind out with soap), any female gymnast/contortionist over the age of 18, and that chick I walked past on the street on my way into work this morning.

Person 1: Man, check out that babelicious chick over there. Talk about hot!

Person A: Dude, the chicks on the pron site that I was surfing last night were totally babelicious.
Person B: Send me the url, dude; I need a good pron fix.

by Big Bad Mark October 28, 2005

voting

In an election, the process whereby elegible citizens submit their choice for the person/party who gets to exploit them for the next 3-4years. People will often get wildly enthusiastic about which dishonest piece of crap they're going to "vote" for this time around, completely forgetting their previous experiences with politicians, which resembled nothing so much as being simultaneously mugged, insulted and assraped. If voting could change things, it would be illegal.

Person 1: Dude, are you voting today?
Person 2: No, this time around I thought I'd just save time and ask a Hell's Angel to beat me up and rob me.

Candidate: And will you be voting for me today, sir?
Voter : Why yes I am! Here, let me bend over this chair so that you can more conveniently assrape me...

by Big Bad Mark December 28, 2005